I THINK SHE'S RIGHT

As a remonstrative tactic, it leaves a lot to be desired. It's less effective than possibly and probably therapeutic, and for the harried mom-person, it fades into both white noise and rote.

"Shut up, Gomert, stop being such a little turd."

The kid in question was about eight or nine years old, and very tantrumic. Everytime he made a noise -- usually a beligerent whiny sound -- she just repeated the mantra "shut up Gomert, stop being such a little turd".
As I said, not particularly effective.
But hypnotic.

Several people nearby found it an interesting performance.

I myself was quite fascinated.


"Shut up, Gomert, stop being such a little turd, shut up, Gomert, stop being such a little turd, shut up, Gomert, stop being such a little turd ... "


After a while I started anticipating the next repetition. I was probably not alone in that. Others dawdled nearby too.

"Shut up, Gomert, stop being such a little turd, 
shut up, Gomert, stop being such a little turd. 
Shut up, Gomert, stop being such a little turd, 
shut up, Gomert, stop being such a little turd. 
Shut up, Gomert, stop being such a little turd, 
shut up, Gomert, stop being such a little turd. 
Shut up, Gomert, stop being such a little turd, 
shut up, Gomert, stop being such a little turd!"

Not suprisingly, it hardly had any impact on the little turd. It obviously meant nothing to him that his mom considered him a little turd.

He may not have even know what a turd was.

A turd is a poo, boy. The refuse of an ass. Something foul-smelling, and, metaphorically, repulsive and badly behaved. Possibly going to grow up a juvenile delinquent, eventually catching the eye of the fuzz.

"Shut up, Gomert, stop being such a little turd, shut up, Gomert, stop being such a little turd, shut up, Gomert, stop being such a little turd, shut up, Gomert, stop being such a little turd, shut up, Gomert, stop being such a little turd, shut up, Gomert, stop being such a little turd, shut up, Gomert, stop being such a little turd, shut up, Gomert, stop being such a little turd, shut up, Gomert, stop being such a little turd, shut up, Gomert, stop being such a little turd, shut up, Gomert, stop being such a little turd."

Wanted: Gomert, age forty, for various crimes. Considered armed and dangerous. Known by the nickname 'Little Turd'.
And he smells bad.

"Shut up, Gomert, stop being such a little turd; shut up, Gomert, stop being such a little turd; shut up, Gomert, stop being such a little turd; shut up, Gomert, stop being such a little turd; shut up, Gomert, stop being such a little turd; shut up, Gomert, stop being such a little turd; shut up, Gomert, stop being such a little turd; shut up, Gomert, stop being such a little turd; shut up, Gomert, stop being such a little turd; shut up, Gomert, stop being such a little turd; shut up, Gomert, stop being such a little turd; shut up, Gomert, stop being such a little turd; shut up, Gomert, stop being such a little turd; shut up, Gomert, stop being such a little turd; shut up, Gomert, stop being such a little turd ..... "

I was silently mouthing the phrase "stupgomertoppeeingsuchalilturd" to myself, when his mom saw me doing so.

Cheerfully she remarked "well he is, isn't he?"


I didn't know what to say.




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