One or several readers think that I should date Liza Minnelli. Despite our not knowing each other, and living a thousand miles apart. For some reason they consider Ms. Minnelli perfect for me.
In lieu of the hypothetical twenty year old Cantonese girl someone else brashly suggested.
I do not know which of the two is more unsuitable. Liza Minnelli is nearly a generation older, and has a wealth of show business experience, as well as a social crowd in which someone like me would be out of water, and could have naught to contribute.
A twenty year old Cantonese girl comes from a milieu in which I am an oddity. Highschool!
Well, if she's Cantonese American, probably college already, but most people don't really grow up till a few years after getting their degree.
And though I speak Cantonese, it is not my first language, nor even my second or third. My pronunciation is atrocious, and I'm far better at listening in than at contributing bupkes to the conversation.
Which, upon further consideration, might be the motive that brings one party to suggest "Cantonese girl" and the other side to nominate Liza Minnelli. The prospect of me being tongue-tied may appeal to them.
No offense to Ms. Minnelli, but a Cantonese girl is far less likely to have arthritis or chronic vertigo. And "Cantonese girl" is a fairly large set of people, whereas the category "Liza Minnelli" contains only one person. Consequently, while the idea of me dating a Cantonese girl may be hugely inappropriate, it is more realistic than suggesting Ms. Minnelli.
I would venture that it should not be limited to just those two options. There should be more candidate profiles, and the idea of me NOT dating anyone at all is, unfortunately, an uncomfortable reality.
I need further input and more realistic choices from my readers.
I note, by the way, that neither Cantonese girls or Liza Minnelli have participated in the discussion. That might possibly be because they consider me beneath them, but more likely because they are quite unaware of the decisions being made on their behalf.
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THE TURKEYS
If you do your research assiduously, you can discover lots of evidence that American families are completely dysfunctional and consist of tr...
10 comments:
It's like sportsfishing; throw some back in the water, and know which the renewable resources are.
How can you be so sure that Cantonese girls aren't reading your every post?
Freaks are fascinating!
You realize that Liza's displays of vertigo in _Arrested Development_ aren't real, right? She's acting.
And by the way, we want more posts about Bob!!!!!!!!!!!
"Liza's displays of vertigo"
Channeling the inner imbalance, I'm sure. Just doing what comes naturally.
It's good that she's capable of doing that.
Must be very comforting.
"Channeling the inner imbalance"? Is that like dysmorphia? Instead of gender dysmorphia ("inner male") or racial dysmorphia ("inner black"), it's inner imbalance?
Anyway, we want more posts about Bob. MORE POSTS ABOUT BOB!!!
Looks like the goddamned Church of the Subgenius fanatics finally found this blog!
But you went to highschool once upon a time, didn't you? lol. Anyway, if you ever need someone to help you relate to the world of highschool, you've got me, now that I've started following your blog, ever since that post where you helped me on the assignment.
Highschool: a place where everyone dreams of sex and cocktails, except in the United States, where football, cheerleaders, and glee clubs take up all available time.
Lowell Highschool is defective in that regard. Too many brainiacs.
Church of the Subgenius: an inferior creed, nearly wiped out by the flying spaghetti monster.
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