Tuesday, November 05, 2013

FLABBERGASTING DEFINITION ENTIRELY

Here it is, less than a day after I mentioned pervert taunting, and one of the internet searches that brought someone to my blog was "birched black women in Africa".
Yes, you may now colour me flabbergasted.
That's something I never thought of.
I'm not an Englishman.

The reason I'm fairly certain that the internet-perv was both masculine and English is that birching IS one of the things that people over there have a thing about, and 'he' was looking for women. Black women.
I'm sure that's an English thing too, but I don't know why.


"Birched black women in Africa"


Personally, not having attended a British Public School, nor having spent time in a Christian Home for Destitute Urchins, the birching thing has no appeal. Though several years ago I did purchase an utterly fascinating paperback novel about a girls' reformatory in the eighteen hundreds, which was administered by people who had graduated from British Public Schools or been nurtured in a Christian Home for Destitute Urchins.

It was educational.

Quite.


"Black women in Africa"


There is hardly any mention on this blog of anything having to do with Africa. It is a fascinating continent, but I have never been.
Perhaps some day I'll rectify that.

There are probably more black women there than anywhere else.


"Black women"


Again, not something about which the cruising internet pervert should assume great expertise on my part.


"Women"


Nope. None here. If you find women anywhere else, do please let me know. I used to be familiar with the type, at least to a far greater extent than I am now. They can be very nice.

I'm absolutely certain that typing "women" into your search field will turn up something.

Much of the world is intrigued by women.
And in all honesty, I am too.

They're flabbergasting.



AFTER WORD

One other internet search deserves mention: "Hello Kitty Bondage".

This, too, flabbered my gast.

No, I cannot even make a guess as to what kind of individual goes on the internet to find 'Hello Kitty Bondage'. Maybe a Japanese person? Perhaps a crazed Shanghainese gender bender? Somebody in San Francisco with an interesting alternative lifestyle?
There is also a reasonable chance that it is a government official, of our own or another country, who is bored during his lunch hour. Why Hello Kitty? Is it strap-on cat ears?
A blank little poo-face? The sweet little hair bow? The spicy combination of a furry head, cutesy accoutrements, and zesty pink flesh to accentuate it all?

These are all rhetorical questions.
No actual answer is needed.
Nor even desired.
To be sure.



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1 comment:

The back of the hill said...

December 4, 2013.

Once again, some Englishman is looking for birched black women.

This was the referring search string: http://search.aol.co.uk/aol/search?q=black%20women%20birched&s_it=keyword_rollover&ie=UTF-8&VR=4086.

The term entered, black women birched, found me about half way down the page.
Oh joy. Oh exultation.

Thank you for reading me, lonesome English gentleman.

Please note that the very FIRST iemt found was PleaseSpankMe.com -- which I assume is a favourite site of yours.
Birching action!

mmm, top shelf.

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