Thursday, April 11, 2013

COMING UP FOR AIR

Since the weather has improved it is enjoyable to spend time outdoors. Yesterday I headed over the hill craving a red-bean pastry and a cup of coffee for my tea, after which I wandered around smoking. Passed the intersection of Washington and Grant without any incident other than a little girl bumping into me at full tilt, then staring up in amazement.
Wah, kweilo with a piece of burning wood in his beak!
How extremely peculiar!

The corner ladies handing out menus to tourists completely ignored me.
I suspect that stinky white dude is NOT the type of "guest" that their restaurant desperately wants. Imagine the smell. Very nasty.

It was a robustly full-flavoured mixture of Latakia, flue-cured leaf, and some air-cured. And it was utterly delicious.

Especially when I got some hot milk-tea (港式奶茶).
Mmmmmmmmmm! Can you say "oral heaven"?
Then now would be the right time to say it.


You know, I'm surprised that women have not discovered the combination.
The mixture of large glisteny brown tapioca balls with milk-tea and crushed ice is baffling, yet very popular among the gentler gender. All over C'town you will see girls anywhere between junior high and retirement age slurping on buckets of that horrid bubble concoction, never mind that enormous gluey globs of dense tapioca are quite indigestible, while it's so obvious that the best pairing for milk-tea (hot) is a pipe-full of excellent tobacco.
The sweetness and creaminess of the tea, how re-invigorating!
The smoky and resinous perfume of Latakia, divine!
And a touch of incense-like blonde leaf.
Just close your eyes in bliss.

Ladies, come on over to the dark side.
You'll be much happier.


If you need advice on which high-quality pipe goes best with that fake Louis Vuitton purse (Hong Kong status queen), or those ultra-high heels and the itsy skirt (if you're one of those Taiwanese pie-face girls that go slumming in C'town), or even what type of pipe tobacco suggests squealing childlike innocence despite the fact that you're over thirty (again Taiwanese), I can advise you. Heck, if you're looking for something interesting other than a full-flavoured mixture, there are some very nice Virginias -- Germain and Son produce nice Vapers, Rattrays of Perth are exceptional, also Sam Gawith Best Brown or Full Virginia -- and for those of you who crave something totally over the top, let me thoroughly recommend Bracken Flake.
Just remember, ditch the damned tapioca balls.
Yat pui gong-sik naai cha, m-koi.
Yit ge, mou bo baa.


一杯港式奶茶,唔該。
热嘅,冇波霸。


It was a wonderful tea-time. Thoroughly enjoyed it.
Got home while it was still light out.
A brightness from the west.
Contentment.



By the way, tapioca is incredibly fattening, whereas Latakia slims you down. You should know this. It's useful information.




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2 comments:

e-k said...

Finally it's clear

The back of the hill said...

All of that is held together by red-tape. Lots of red-tape. Sheer tonnes of red-tape.

We invented red-tape.

Also known as bureaucratese glue.

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