HOT SEXY DANGEROUS HANDBAGS!

It is with mixed feelings that I must report that gay men find me rather attractive.
I wish it were otherwise. Specifically, I wish it were the other gender.
You know, the soft and appealing sex.
Them.


FEMALES!

Unfortunately, persons of that particular gender are far too realistic AND oblivious to pay me much mind. It has taken me half a century to become a nice person, and consequently the effect I have on feminine individuals is pleasant and somewhat avuncular, rather than hot sexy dude.
I used to be more dangerous.

Many women are irresistibly attracted to dangerous.
Especially(!) if it comes combined with hot and sexy.
And handbags. Hot, sexy, and dangerous handbags.


I bet I could yell out "hot sexy dangerous handbags" in a crowded auditorium and cause a stampede.
Half the audience would rise up as one to riot in the nearest department store, the other half would sit there stupidly and ask sports-related questions.
One or two would do neither.

I should try it sometime. Women who don't react are the ones I want to know.


"Miss, can I interest you in a work of literature?"


Yep. Need to head over to the university and create a panic.
Aim for the small ones with glasses. They're more interesting.

Heh.



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