THE MACHISMO OF YOGHURT

Earlier today a friend suggested that we recommend yoghurt to a mutual acquaintance. He made the proposal after reading an article about shiny mouse testicles.


QUOTE
“the yogurt-eating mice were incredibly shiny. Using both traditional histology techniques and cosmetic rating scales, the researchers showed that these animals had 10 times the active follicle density of other mice, resulting in luxuriantly silky fur.

Then the researchers spotted something particular about the males: they projected their testes outward, which endowed them with a certain “mouse swagger,” Erdman says. On measuring the males, they found that the testicles of the yogurt consumers were about 5 percent heavier than those of mice fed typical diets alone and around 15 percent heavier than those of junk-eating males.”
END QUOTE

[Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/06/testicles-yogurt-mice-probiotics_n_1489701.html.]


My input was to amend the suggestion. Not that I do not wish the gentleman in question to have shiny rodent testicles, but there is less going on in his life than would merit those scrotal improvements. Yes, if parts of his physique became incredibly attractive to female mice, I'm sure it would be a direct benefit. But there are other things.
Several issues that absolutely require action.
I advocated a totality of approach.
A more complete package.
Drastically.

Yoghurt and Metamucil shakes.
Forcefed.
He’ll thank us later.

After six months of this, he'll be younger, svelter, sexier, and if nothing else, his bald zone will be shiny.
Not only female mice will find him attractive. So will many other creatures.
I have his best interests at heart.


In case you were wondering, I do not need yoghurt.
I already have luxuriantly silky fur.

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