WARM COMFORT

What does a crotchety badger want? What makes his furry snout twitch with happy anticipation?
These are very good questions, and I'm so glad you asked.
Today the badger in question wanted rice porridge.
Because it's comfort food, and it tastes good.

一碗皮蛋瘦肉粥同埋一根油條唔該

[Yat woon pei dan sau yiuk jook tong mai yat gan yau tiu m-koi.]

Preserved egg (皮蛋 'pei dan') and lean pork (瘦肉 'sau yiuk') in smoothly luscious congee (粥 'juk'), with an airy deep-fried strip of dough for dipping in the bowl, is the perfect lunch. It is simple, filling, delicious, and cheap.
Do not bother asking 係唔係新鮮炸嘅咩 ('hai m-hai san-sin char-ge-me': "is this freshly fried"), as the chances are that the yau tiu (油條) was made in the morning, and the woman behind the counter will inevitably say that it is new, while thinking "stupid kwailo, of course we don't sell stale stuffs, we wouldn't stay in business long if we did!".

[By the same token, do not try to order a bowl of soy milk (豆漿) or bak kut teh (肉骨茶 meat and bone broth), to go along with your "cha-kwei" (炸粿) because this is neither Shanghai nor the Malay and Indonesian world. It is San Francisco. We have jook (粥) with our oil-strips.]


Sit down, and note that an old gentleman one table away is eating exactly the same thing, with quite as much enjoyment. Life is made for pleasing coincidences.
It would have been nice if instead he had been a nice young lady with sparkling eyes slowly savouring a bowl of creamy rice porridge. But then I would have definitely had drips of jook on my chin, and they're hard to wipe out of a beard.
This would not have made a good impression.

If I were a sprightly miss in an eatery on Stockton Street, facing a furry-snouted badger with congee in his beard, would I find him attractive? Would my nipple twitch? Or would I pay him no mind, as the creamy porridge demanded all my attention?
Methinks I'd concentrate on the food. And perhaps have some hoimei fan (海米粉 steamed rice sheet noodle with dry shrimp) to round out my meal.
While ignoring his sneaky glances in my direction as he fills his pipe before leaving.
He's got rice grains in his beard. Does he not know?!?
That's a handsome briar, by the way.
It looks stylish.

Suffice to say there was no nice young lady there. There are, in fact, no such people in my life at all.
Which is a very great pity, as they are far far better than food.


FYI: the pipe tobacco I'm experimenting with at present has a decadent perfume added to the otherwise fine leaf. Not a strong fruity scent, being instead a whiff reminiscent of floral car freshener when lit. Most of it burns off in the first few puffs, so I don't think I'll be turning any heads with this. But it is a pleasant and unassuming smoke, good for spring days.
The soft feminine aroma may be influencing my mental processes.
Ghost-like traces of a woman's fragrance.

AFTERTHOUGHTS: Washington Street, Montgomery Street, quiet afternoon. Later, back over the hill, twilight at the abandoned church, then a slice of Dundee Cake, strong milk tea, a bowl of aged flake before dinner, mild yellow curry seafood soup with cilantro and ginger, sherry and a cheroot after dark. Perhaps time with a book - Ada and Van Veen, OR the amber details of Speak, Memory. Snow-pear incense half an hour before bed, to chase away any mosquitoes.

BRILLIANT CREATIVE INSIGHT: a dusting of scented talcum inside bra cups for greater comfort during warm weather.
Let me know if it works.


What should I eat next weekend? Noodles? More jook?
Rice and various dishes?
And milk tea.



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