AN ARGUMENT FOR BEING BARE IN GOOD COMPANY

Like many MOST people in San Francisco, I spent the entire week completely unaware that much of the country is experiencing a heat wave.
Sorry, you people really aren’t on our radar most of the time. We didn't know.
We have been mildly warm. Except at night. When it’s been quite brisk on occasion. Or around the cocktail hour, when the hilltops have been foggy. Or in the morning. Or when chill winds are whistling through the canyons downtown.
Well, let's say that we’ve been sort of warmish from around ten o’clock in the morning till five or six in the evening.
It has been very pleasant.

But I have been told that many of you want to take your clothes off.
So I have to ask, are the percentages of good-looking people (of either gender) in your neck of the woods (95% of the country) large enough to merit my coming out there to scope you all out? Or would I be ogling a vast assembly of beached whales, and perhaps a few sweaty hens?

On second thought, please don’t answer that, and don’t bother stripping.
After all, I am NOT going to get naked either.
Not because I disapprove of nudity.
But because of the coolth.

Besides, not wearing any clothing at all is fun only when done in good company. By oneself it is rather pathetic. It says that despite one’s on the whole decent, even foxy, good looks, distinct lack of a beer gut, and social graces (wit, eloquence, not too much conceit, and daily bathing), one has not found a person of the right age, gender, and personality type, to make frisky business a realistic prospect again.

Oh wait, if you folks get naked, it’s because of the heat!

Sorry, I forgot. That’s not an issue here.
In San Francisco, complete nudity is more for entertainment value than anything else.
I myself have not seen a naked person in aeons, and nobody has seen me thus in as long.
Indeed, ‘tis a sad regret.

I don't watch much television either.

If any of you people sweltering in the rest of the country are youngish, intelligent, emotionally resilient, and also have a sense of humour, you might consider visiting.
Heck, feel free to take your clothes off too!
But it’s cool enough that you don’t have to.

Unless, of course, you really feel like it.


I wouldn't object.


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