BRITTLE DISCOMFORT

There is a narrowness about life now. It seems that my ability to communicate is no longer what it was.
Or maybe it is that I am now much more aware that I cannot correctly convey what I mean, or convince others when I speak.

Savage Kitten listens, but I do not think she hears. It will probably take a long time before she understands what I have, in these past few months, tried to say. She is not prepared to grasp my points, nor realize that what she said when she broke off our relationship, and how she said it, were in effect if not intent almost impossibly wounding.
I admire her resilience.

Unfortunately, I cannot speak to anyone else either. Some things just cannot and should not be said, and I myself find it hard to speak of other matters.
What I do not clearly say requires more intensive listening than most people are capable of, and more attention than I can demand of my friends.
Really, who is avid for subjects not bright and easy?
And why should anyone even expect that of their friends?

I do not speak, I have no voice.
And I resent my own muteness.



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