I LOVE MY JOB

I sometimes play when I’m on the phone.

Especially when, instead of getting the adult who runs the business, I get the twitty-poo teenager who was hired because she is completely non-threatening (unlike nineteen year old Ripp Saw, who has multiple piercings and tattoos, and wears a dirty teeshirt with a vampire skull picture - he applied at the same time).

So then.

Thirteen year old Tiffany: “Tom iz-unt here”.

Me: “Do you know when he’ll be in?”

TYO Tiffany: “Like umm tomorrow umm maybe?”

Me: “Can I, umm, leave a message?”
[Note: Gratuitous 'umm' added for comprehensibility. It helps.]

TYO Tiffany: “Umm like sure. Umm sorry, I dropped my ‘pent-sill’. Umm okay whut?”

So I tell her my name, what company I’m calling from, why I’m calling.....
And somewhere in the middle she’ll interrupt to ask “how do you spell that?”.

Me: “Tee as in Tom, aitch as in handyman, ay as in alphabet, tee as in timeo danaos et dona ferentes...”.

TYO Tiffany: “Mmmm like umm whut?”


Poor girl. She'll probably marry a man thirty years her senior.
And I think there may be a brass pole in her future.

Shoulda hired Ripp Saw after all.