WHEN I THINK OF HAMBURG ...

We Dutch have a weird streak a mile wide at times, but we are by no means the worst. That honour may fall to the Germans who are positively English in their perversion. As a strong indication thereof, I'll cite from an article in De Telegraaf (Holland's foremost newspaper) about a doctor warning against excessive masturbation.


" ... een man uit Hamburg die een plastic zak over zijn hoofd trok en zichzelf bevredigde voor de kachel. De man werd levenloos aangetroffen met plakjes kaas verspreid over zijn lichaam en een panty over zijn bovenlijf. Voor de rest was hij gekleed in een duikersoutfit en een regenjas."

[Translation: "a man from Hamburg who pulled a plastic bag over his head and "satisfied" himself in front of the gas heater. The man was found lifeless covered with slices of cheese and wearing a pantie on his upper body. For the rest, he was dressed in a diving outfit and a raincoat."]


There are things, many things, that inquisitive minds might want to know after reading this, but I shan't explore them, because just seeing that paragraph above already woke me up enough.

He has come and gone.


We Netherlanders and Dutch-Americans cannot possibly top that.
I don't think any one of us wants to either.
We're happy being dull.




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