HEARTFELT APOLOGIES

Pursuant a recent food-related essay, in which apparently I sneered most unwholesomely about vegetarians (quote: "usually crazy white folks"), one of my esteemed readers took me fiercely to task.
My attitude, she wrote, was "typically carnivorous, and disgusting".
She threatened to jam a rutabaga up my whatsis.
It WAS a rutabaga, wasn't it, dearie?
Don't know for sure what.
Still giggling.
Sorry.

In fact, some of my best friends are vegetarians. One of them has a daughter who is vegan, but she's in England, so that doesn't count.
Living in Europe tends to make one eat weird things.
Baked beans are a completely pure food.
AND, they go well on toast!
'Bean' appétit!

Sorry.

Bad wordplay, I don't know what I was thinking.
Again, some of my best friends are vegetarian.

Bon appétit. Not bean. Bon.

Sorry.


PROTEIN -- IT'S WHAT ALL BLONDES CRAVE!


[SOURCE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q4N9X1QGOn0. Watch the whole misguided episode here.]


Sorry.

In all honesty, I should admit that I do not eat beef or cow if I can help it, because the American Cattle Industry gives a whole new meaning to the term "poxy unethical inbred criminal farmville savages trying to poison the world".

But I'm very fond of pork, duck, fish, and chocolate mousse.

Turkey, however, is utterly an abomination.

An ambulating vegetable.


Given a choice between a turkey dinner at any other time except Thanksgiving, and a vegetarian platter, I'd choose vegetarian.
I've never had a vegetarian; how do they taste?

Sorry.


Goat. I also like goat.


Some of my best friends are goats.




Sorry.





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