Sunday, January 04, 2015

IT WAS AN EPIC VICTORY!

Generally speaking, I'm whacked to the eye-brows when I return from Marin County. Due to a lot of caffeine. The day starts with two cups of reasonably strong coffee, and as soon as I've landed on the other side of the Golden Gate I make myself a cup of tea.That first one is followed by at least four more throughout the day.
Marin people are a bit dull, you see. It's that blistering self-satisfaction that suffuses their being. They know their auras are golden, and that karma must inevitably favour them.
Some of them do yoga, or exercise their flabby parts.
Please observe their saintliness.

And quite a few of them are nuts.

Peace, love, and vegetarianism.


OR, CONVERSELY, THEY WILL SIT IN FRONT OF A TELEVISION SET AND SCREAM WHILE LARGE MEN IN BODY-HUGGING PANTS WRESTLE EACH OTHER, IN THE MOST HOMO-EROTIC SPORT IMAGINABLE: FOOTBALL.


Personally, I cannot see the appeal. And I fear that makes me an outcast. But by keeping silent about my baffled loathing at the magnetism of large male bottoms in shiny breeches cavorting in pursuit of a pointy prolate spheroid made out of pigskin, I maintain peace in my vicinity.

No one has suggested that I return to my home planet.

Plus I have a clever disguise: a snazzy athletic sweatshirt, stylish black with white lettering, that references Medrash Govoha in connection with American Football. With an American Football pictured thereon, indicating that the year of importance was 2010.
Very sporty and collegiate.
And geshmak.

---dot---dot---dot---


GIVE ME A 'G'! GIVE ME AN 'O'!
VOHA! VOHA! VOHA!

From Wikipedia: "Beth Medrash Govoha is a post-graduate institution and the general age of entry for new students is about 22. A level of analytic skill and comprehension in understanding the Talmud is required to the extent that a student is be able to study a subject from the starting point all the way to the most complex areas of that subject on his own. The yeshiva does not have a remedial program for weak or unprepared students, and reaching the level required to be a successful student at the yeshiva takes several years of intense, full-time study."

And: "The daily schedule consists of three sedarim (study sessions) – a morning session, 9:30am–1:45pm, an afternoon session, 3:30pm–7:15pm, and an evening session, 9pm-11pm, in which a total of 10 hours of each day is spent studying. For each session there is a limud (subject) which is a chapter of the mesechta that that group is learning."



So okay then. Please feel free to believe that we Talmud scholars make time in our busy lives for an invigorating game. Physical culture is part of a well-rounded education, and it takes a healthy body to make a healthy mind, and all that inspiring hooh-hah. There's vim, and also vigour!


We are proud of our jocks; their glory reflects on all of us.

Go team. Medrash Govoha. Yay.



American Football.

It's serious sh*t.




==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================

3 comments:

e-kvetcher said...

Reminds me of Portnoy's Complaint:

Ikey, Mikey, Jake & Sam
We're the Boys That Eat No Ham
We play football, baseball, soccer. We keep matzos in our locker.
Aye, aye, Weequahic High!

Ari said...

The rhetorical acrobatics and mental gymnastics of tumah & tahara, maaser and nezikin can cause brain injury. Take precautions! Headgear is a must. Pigskins (and foreskins) are not.

The back of the hill said...

I'm thinking steel-reinforced crash resistant kippot right now.

Search This Blog

THE TURKEYS

If you do your research assiduously, you can discover lots of evidence that American families are completely dysfunctional and consist of tr...