PERVERTABLE ME

I am a degenerate. No, this has NOTHING to do with sex. It does, however, relate to my mouth. And what I do with it.

For Sunday dinner Savage Kitten made some scrumptious chops. They were juicy and intensely flavourful, done to perfection - that woman sure can cook. After dinner, while she was preoccupied, I went into the kitchen and stuck my face in the skillet, frantically trying to lick up all the panjuices before she would notice. Sluuuuurrrppp!

Had to wash my face at the kitchen sink afterwards, because I had gotten grease in my beard and moustache.

So yes, I had a very good Fourth of July.

Panjuices. Mmmmm.
Imagine a Homer Simpson sound here.


Yesterday I smoked several bowls of Erinmore Flake. Erinmore is a product I have previously described as a perfumed tease, a veritable harlot, a temptress drenched in cheap cologne. It is all that, and more. And I enjoyed it immensely.
What can I say? While I normally seek the company of classic mixtures – winsome blendings of Virginia, Turkish, and Latakia, modest and maidenly, charming yet restrained in their embraces – sometimes I like a mature mistress, more full bodied and vulgar than the well-bred little Oriental.
Smoking Erinmore Flake is like going down to a seedy cocktail dive and surrounding yourself with busty tarts.

Not only did I have a good Fourth, I also had a good fifth.

Today I have that tin of Erinmore Flake on my desk. Periodically I have been sticking my nose in it, and inhaling deeply of its sleazy charm. Mmmmmm, fruity. And just a hint of something incredibly vile, hidden under the naughty wink, the batted eye, the barely concealed fleshpot pillows. This temptress is moist with dime-store unguents, the lipstick and rouge are applied with a heavy hand. Frills of lace erupt from her shameless blouse, her stockings are the very pit of vulgar temptation, that skirt is far too short and tight for a woman of her age.

"Depraved fleshy trot desperately seeks randy beau. Appearance no object."

Aged Virginia, with tropic fruits.
White trash tobacco.

[ERINMORE FLAKE – sliced pressed flue-cured tobaccos with a top-dressing of pineapple and licorice. Nowadays manufactured in Denmark, but formerly the product of an company long since subsumed into British American Tobacco. This tin was purchased several years ago, but only opened recently.
It was made in Northern Ireland by Murray Sons & Company Limited, Belfast. This tin has aged very nicely, and it stinks to high heaven.]


The only thing missing is warm cooking grease from some divine chops.
I feel like I should rub myself all over with meat fat.
That would be the best of both worlds.