Monday, October 27, 2008

CANNED BLAND

In a comment string on Dovbear's blog, I sneered that the last truly great president was a Dutch-American, and that everything since then has been purely mediocre Anglos, and mediocre Anglo wannabees.
I also said that I'm not voting for McCain, as I don't want another mediocre Anglo wannabe; I'm voting for the intelligent candidate.

It very soon became apparent that some readers did not grasp that the term Anglo has nothing to do with English / Anglo-Saxon / Anglican. One of them even offered that McCain was perhaps Scotch-Irish.


No offense to the Scotch-Irish, who are all mighty fine people why even some of my BEST friends are Scotch-Irish.....,
That's the very quintessence of second-rate Anglo. The bargain brand of Anglo. On par with Rednecks, Texans, and Fratboys.


Then somebody else wrote: "Eisenhower had German ancestry; Kennedy was Irish; Reagan was part Irish."


Oh pooh.

Anglo is a cultural category. If you want to be ethno-specific, and more racist, you can use the term WASP. Or even 'Anglo-Saxon'.
Eisenhower, Kennedy, and Reagan were one hundred and twenty percent Anglo (the extra percentage points are because they had to try harder).

All three of them were, culturally speaking, about as Anglo as you can get in this country. Solid white bread, English-speaking, and adhering to the Anglo (i.e. dominant American) value system.

Whoever goes into the meltingpot has the right to come out white.
Just look at Condoleeza.

Jeez, haven't you folks ever heard of assimilation?!?

Yeah, I know most of y'all live in New York, and are culturally Puerto Rican......


But out there in the rest of this country, in the "real America", popular culture has demotized to the great anglo-whitebread commonality - Round Table Pizza: a fake Italian dough disc made palatable to the majority by adding canned bland tomato sauce, ham, and pineapple, constructed in an Arthurian metaphor-environment by generic teenagers, mostly monolingual in 'Mall Speak', whose reading skills extend little further than insta-message.
Much like their parents, who are also as well-adjusted.

Once you've got the phrase "whazzup dude" in your mental framework, you're in Anglo-town. No biggie.


Discuss among yourselves, homies, I'm hellah farklempt.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Curry in a can?


---Grant Patel

e-kvetcher said...

wazzup?

The back of the hill said...

Good one.
Very good.
Thanks for giving the link.
I shall forward it.
;-D

Spiros said...

The views of the short film do not reflect the views of Anheuser Busch...NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!
That disclaimer was the funniest part of the film.

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