I am in receipt of an e-mail from someone who believes that I am an African-American feminist lesbian, and will therefore be interested in revolutionary blows against the male-dominated neo-con imperialist status quo. Actually, I am not African American or lesbian - but truth be told, I may have advertently given her that impression. Oops.
Warning: not all e-mail exchanges with strangers calling themselves Malika, Leila, or Sharhazada are, in fact, contacts from valid new recruits for the Anarcho-Sexual Anti-Imperialists or the HomoSexual & Transgender Front For The Support of Palestine.
[Some of us actually think that you pro-Hamas poly-gendrics are stark raving mad, and really wish that you had developed as good a relationship with your therapist as you seem to have done with the repressive gynophobic patriarchy of the Arab world.]
Anyhoo, the e-mail that Sylphia forwarded contains some lovely text.
WOMEN IN BLACK NEEDS YOUR HELP TO DEFEAT THE ZIONIST!!!
Friday, September 5
At 5-6 PM
Montgomery and Market Streets, SF
San Francisco Women in Black (SF WIB) has been standing in opposition to War, Militarism, and Ultra-Right Nationalism for over 7 years.
We hold signs saying: End the Occupation of Palestine, Iraq, and Afghanistan!
Women's Rights are Human Rights! Dismantle the Settlements!
For the last several months we have been attacked by Zionists, a group of mostly men who have come bringing huge Israeli and American flags, talking, smoking and handing out flyers. Their purpose is to oppress us and to drive us away.
We need you to come and help us keep putting out the message that the Palestinians deserve their human rights! All womyn are invited!
----------------
I'm fairly certain that these lovely weiben oyf shvortz are aware of the oppression of women in Palestinian society and the rest of the Middle-East, yet they have chosen to support Hamas and the uber masculine warlords of the West-Bank as their signal contribution to revolutionary struggle.
I'm not sure how accurate they are in their portrayal of the group of Zionists who counterdemo them every first Friday - I know most of those Zionists, and consider them very liberal. Not insane, like many of the more radical residents of the Bay Area, but nevertheless far too left-wing to be entirely safe in the rust-belt, deep-south, or Alaska.
Several of those Zionists are in fact peaceful, female, and/ or gay. Being peaceful, female, and / or gay are positions very consistent with support for Israel, a nation where being any or all of those three things is socially safe and has legal and political protection.
I should probably point out that a peaceful gay female in Gaza or Tehran would probably be arrested, raped repeatedly in jail, and then stoned to death. Being gay in Egypt subjects one to brutal police harassment and broomstick penetration, and recent reports paint an unsavoury picture of sexual harassment in Cairo (virulent, omnipresent, and vicious).
Being gay or female is not safe or socially acceptable in Saudi Arabia, Jordan, Syria...... Well, anywhere in the Arab world except for nightclubs in the Christian districts of Beirut or tourist areas of Morocco.
But never mind. I now wish to draw your attention to the passage that the e-mail reminded me of.
JUDITH: I do feel, Reg, that any anti-imperialist group like ours must reflect such a divergence of interests within its power-base.
REG: Agreed. Francis?
FRANCIS: Yeah. I think Judith's point of view is very valid, Reg, provided the movement never forgets that it is the inalienable right of every man--
STAN: Or woman.
FRANCIS: Or woman..... to rid himself--
STAN: Or herself.
FRANCIS: Or herself.
REG: Agreed.
FRANCIS: Thank you, brother.
STAN: Or sister.
FRANCIS: Or sister. Where was I?
REG: I think you'd finished.
FRANCIS: Oh. Right.
REG: Furthermore, it is the birthright of every man--
STAN: Or woman.
REG: Why don't you shut up about women, Stan. You're putting us off.
STAN: Women have a perfect right to play a part in our movement, Reg.
FRANCIS: Why are you always on about women, Stan?
STAN: I want to be one.
REG: What?
STAN: I want to be a woman. From now on, I want you all to call me 'Loretta'.
REG: What?
LORETTA: It's my right as a man.
JUDITH: Well, why do you want to be Loretta, Stan?
LORETTA: I want to have babies!
REG: You want to have babies?
LORETTA: It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them.
REG: But... you can't have babies.
LORETTA: Don't you oppress me.
REG: I'm not oppressing you, Stan. You haven't got a womb! Where's the foetus going to gestate? You going to keep it in a box?
LORETTA: [crying]
JUDITH: Here! I've got an idea. Suppose you agree that he can't actually have babies, not having a womb, which is nobody's fault, not even the Romans', but that he can have the right to have babies?
FRANCIS: Good idea, Judith. We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have babies, brother. Sister. Sorry.
REG: What's the point?
FRANCIS: What?
REG: What's the point of fighting for his right to have babies when he can't have babies?!
FRANCIS: It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression.
REG: Symbolic of his struggle against reality.
[Source: Monty Python - Life of Brian]
It may not be entirely clear why the e-mail reminded me of the passage from LofB above. Just think about it. And don't call me Loretta.
I guess I should write Sylphia and tell her that, alas, Malika (or Leila, or Sharhazada) is far too busy this Friday evening, preparing a nutritious dinner for her husband and children after they return from the Masjid and break their ramadan fast. Sweet juicy dates, milk and honey, Sohan Halwa, Rice Pilaf, and Goat-leg soup! Yummers bismillah and Salaam Aleikum sister!
Note: No gentlemen named Muhammad or important members of the matriarchate were harmed in the writing of this post.
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43 comments:
This says it all about the rightwing and their current centerfold:
Wow! A hottee!
Tissk, tissk.
Were you blowing Zionist tobacco smoke at those poor womyn in blakk?
And isn't it funny how situational Bill O'Reilly's moral compass is?
For the record, I could give half a shit that Ms. Palin's unwed 17 year old daughter is preggers (really, what the fuck else is there to do in Alaska, and it's not as if they are over-populated up there); it's just that her constitchency (to borrow a pronunciation from O BROTHER WHERE ART THOU) has aways seemed to have been more than a little hung up on the issue.
And, on a side note, I'm not the first person to notice a slight resemblence between Ms. Palin and the dreamy Tina Fay, which is quite the best thing I can say for Ms. Palin, that and a tangential fondness for her last name.
"attacked by Zionists"
If handing out flyers is their definition of being attacked, then its not such a logical leap that their definition of genocide would involve the population quadrupling in size.
Not too firm a grasp on reality here.
Lets pay them a vist, shall we?
OMG
Clearly, your presence is enough to be oppressive, simply because you are male. For you to wave LARGE flags, invade - nay, penetrate - their space with your tobacco fumes, and attempt to suborn their Marxist-feminist dialectic with your own printed propaganda is a horrible violent attack. For shame, BoTh, for shame!!
Fowwwad the fight against gynecentwwism! Sing it out, bwwothah!
Really there should be a sign:
"Please do not feed or tease the WIBBIES."
We must break free of gender-centric bonds! Let it all hang!
Flop, droop, dangle, wobble, jiggle, or whatever.
That is what the muslim sack-dress is for. Underneath all that cloth, they are naked. And sweaty, but that is neither here nor there.
Completely covered and out of sight is the ultimate freedom.
Wear a tent.
---Grant Patel
Beware tent-wearers.
---Grant Patel
"WOMEN IN BLACK NEEDS YOUR HELP TO DEFEAT THE ZIONIST!!!"
The Zionist? Is there just one of them? :-P
Is this like the comic Margaret Cho's line about "The Gay"? ("he has to do the parade ALL BY HIMSELF")
Steg, sometimes it feels that way. I'm certainly the only Zionist smoker (me few, me happy few...).
We're always outnumbered.
But I like women, I really do, and consequently I will gladly crash their man-free event to add a nicely clashing Zionist counterpoint. I am sure my companions feel the same way. We like to think that we broaden the creed, gender, and sexual preferences spectrum at Montgomery and Market every first Friday of the month.
See, it's all about diversity.....
;-D
Mmm, Tzipporah, the flags aren't really that large..... it's not like they're substitutes for something else....
The cigars fill that role admirably.
And cigars are revolutionary - the first unions were the poor oppressed cigar rollers in New York.
Onrade beloved comwards! And let us spread the dialectic of smoke!
[Feedel Castro]
Plus it's green - no petrochemicals were harmed.
As a rhetorical devivce, the Zionist, the Gay, the Jew, etc. implies an agenda, a monolithic sense of menace.
Ah, so this is what you were talking about today. Very funny.
Signed,
A Zionist Occasional Oppressor.
"Actually, I am not African American or lesbian"
neither am I, but of the two I am probably closer to being a lesbian - but I am in the wrong body to be wholly convincing. Still it's for me at least - more comfortable than being a pooftah.
Where does Africa start - is Egypt an African nation?
Is Arnie an Austrian American?
Is HB a Dutch-American or just a Yank in clogs?
I blame the rise of Mrs Palin on all the recent silly TV series which have made out that Alaska is populated by crazy & amiable wasps
Unfortunately all the votable lesbians stay in Hollywood - Mrs Palin reminds me of Dame Edna - nasty glasses girl !
Y'all get what you deserve...
Graham
"Nothern Exposure" is hardly a recent TV series.
...and, in his defense, Dick Morris IS a lying sack of *expletives deleted*
"The Zionist? Is there just one of them?"
Throw the Zionist down the well.
Spiros U old greek arsee....
It depends on what one holds to be "recent"
forgive me truly - I no longer watch TV and the last US series which I "followed" was "China Beach" and the last US tv series which I adored was "Cheers" but there seems too be a current series concerning a young lady who is located in Alaska
Still - the Alaskan bearess has escaped from her closet - will thee vote for her - or willst thou chooseth the big "O"???
Mebbe he is just as much a whoozie as Carter was....
You the US electorate decide what we - the (sympathetic) Europeans have to live with...
Graham
What you excpect mofo - you stole their sole ownership on that exalted activity: smoking!
Just so we're clear here...
"Northern Exposure" is, in my opinion, the greatest show ever to be aired on American television.
Also, despite the fact that Ms. Palin bears a slight resemblance to the splendid Tina Fay, unless the Pods get me there is no chance I will be voting for any slimy Republicans; if Obama is a Clintonesque wussy, that would be a MAJOR step up from what we've been subjected to over the past 7+ years.
Also, too: I'm not in fact Greek.
"Northern Exposure" is, in my opinion, the greatest show ever to be aired on American television.
Mmm. It was great. I'm quite fond of another wacky series that's aired for a couple years now, "Pushing Daisies." It has the same sense of absurdity and realism I found in Northern Exposure.
WHERE ARE THE PANTIES!
Such a long post, and NO mention of panties! You are losing your touch, and soon will have no deviants visiting you. You do not want that, do you?
I am not here for clean living. Next post better mention panties.
Lev
Lev,
Go down to trademarks, and the post about pavement treasure.
Just your speed, I should think.
Enjoying lunch much?
---Grant Patel
I too am not a Greek - though as a "born in the wrong body" lesbian - I do have an affinity with those hot little islands, where raven-haired girlies insist on feeding me grapes & seafood.
And I admire the Greek people's fight against the Germans in WW2
I especially admire the Greek fighter pilots flying their PZL P24s
There again - HB's blog being a Pro-Jewish blog it is a bit risky to state any sympathies with Greeks. Nasty Greeks ...
N. E. was fun but how about MASH? and pardon me what about The Waltons????
or Star Trek (with Shatner)
or ...
Casey Jones....
Jim Bob you have the con....
Heh hey we're the Monkees...
almost forgot IRONSIDE - he was gay???
Graham
M*A*S*H was shite, especially in comparision with Altman's original cinematic vision.
"Star Trek TNG" kicked "Star Trek" the original's ass...William Shatner vs. Patrick Stewart? Come on.
What about the "Waltons"? I slept through it (I don't DO wholesome).
I have yet to see "Pushing Daisies", but I was a huge fan of "Six Feet Under", and I quite dote on "Arrested Development". And for sheer, loopy genius, it's hard to beat "The Tick" (the animated version).
SPOON!!!
Arrested Development pretty much describes my life.
Well, without the relatives, of course.
---Grant Patel
Actually, it doesn't describe it at all. Except for the bananas.
---Grant Patel
And that stone fox with the freckles.....
God I wish that described my life!
---Grant Patel
"There is no God!"
"There are dozens of us ["nevernudes"]!
There is a trend developing: as one gets farther down on a comment string, the comments have a distinct tendancy to become increasingly inconsequential and self referencial, entirely losing contact with any part of the substance of the original post.
CUIDADO LOS UOMBATS!!!
Self referential, and then wombats? Okay, we now know how you see yourself - as a very dangerous (or 'wary') wombatte!
---Grant Patel
You are the wombat, you are the eggman, goo goo ga choo!
---Grant Patel
Anyone seen anything about WIBBYs lately?
Wasn't Mohamed Alley "the boxer previously known as Cassy Usklay."
Spiros
Surely Monty Python's Flying Circusssss was the greatest show ever aired on US-TV?
And even now I regret watching Twin Peaks - every bl**dy episode but Dolly Parton never appeared once - let alone took of her upper undergarment...
Graham
Star Trek TNG
I fancied the red-haired doctor quite a lot I must say ...
*** pull yerself together Graham ***
- but the Shatner series (tribbles) were more "Right Stuff" and although JonLookP'krd is an English actor - TNG is just a tad too "New Age" I mean recall the film with a Whale in Space....? Or the counseller who Ryker fancies - tears well in her eyes when a fly craps. & what about 7of9 - and her upper front chest? The only way you can get close is to assimilate - And there is that alien race that have pointy teeth and are all shysters - seems a bit anti-sem... ?
Graham
MPFC (along with "Fawlty Towers", "Spaced", "The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin", "Slings and Arrows") was greater than anything ORIGINALLY broadcast on US airwaves.
Except for Bonanza.
But you knew that.
I like beavers.
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