PURSUANT CHOLENT

Dovbear posted about a cholent controversy (http://dovbear.blogspot.com/2007/07/cholent-controversy.html), which may have already lead to a conversion by the time you read this.

It turns out that someone's distaste for cholent suggested to some of the finest lomdishe minds that the afflicted person might not be, al pi halacha, Jewish.

Needless to say this excited the intellects of Dovbear's readers no end. As of this writing there were two hundred and thirty four comments. Names were being called, verbal fists were flying, and the Mishne Berurah was being cited with reckless abondon.
Again, two hundred and thirty four comments. About cholent. How keenly the kehal looks forward to the Sabbath.


"What", I hear you asking from your seat in the last pew, "is cholent?"

It is oneg.

Per Rabbi Schmeckelstein, part-time correspondent for The Knish, it is also something.
See here: http://www.theknish.com/article18.2.shtm
His description does not entirely clarify, however.


CHOLENT
Genug tshernt for sechs mentshen, oych acht mit a helzel oder voss lechem.

Three quarters of a cup white beans (navy).
Three quarters of a cup red beans (kidney).
Half a cup pearl barley.
One and half pounds brisket or beef shortribs, attacked with a cleaver.
One and a half pounds potatoes, cut into large chunks.
One large onion, or two small - large chunks.
One large tomato, or two small, chopped.
Three to five cloves garlic, chopped.
One and a half TBS paprika.
Two or three bayleaves.
Salt, pepper, sugar, splash of sherry, jigger of Louisiana hotsauce.
Pinches ground cumin, turmeric, and dry ginger.
Olive oil.
Vinegar, to dash if wished.
Six hardboiled eggs, rolled to crack the shells.

[Bonenkruid (Satureiea Hortensis, or Summer Savoury), if you have it in your larder, is an excellent addition - a sprig or goodly pinch added to the pot of beans has a salutary effect. Please note that cumin, turmeric, and ginger aren't normative either. And really, more garlic is also fine.]


Soak beans overnight. Cast out the soaking water, and remove any grit or stones. Place in a large enamel castrol, with enough water to cover by an inch. Heat up the oil in a skillet, gild the onion and garlic, remove to the bean pot. Set the skillet aside for use in another hour or so for the meat. Bring the beans and onion to a boil, turn low, simmer for about three hours.

Salt and pepper the meat, and sprinkle just a pinch of sugar over, to facilitate browning. Put the meat in the skillet, brown a bit, stir in paprika and seethe with sherry before it burns, then transfer this also into the bean pot and scrape in the pan-crunchies after the beans have already simmered for about three hours. Add the pearl barley and everything else, burying the eggs and potatoes in the beans along with a helzele if you wish. Add a dash of vinegar also, and simmer on a backburner for an hour longer. Judge the liquid level and adjust (probably not necessary), then lid the pot and place it on the blech till Saturday afternoon, when you will serve it.


Have some bread on the side - good for mopping the plate. Place the bottle of Louisiana hotsauce in the middle for everyone to help themselves.


You will probably want to have some beano beforehand, and take two ping wei pien tablets afterwards for your stomach's sake. Tshernt is heavy stuff. But, as on shabbes you have an extra (degree of) soul, according to Resh Lakish (the neshomo yeteiro, Beitza 16a), you need extra oneg. Oneg is tshernt.

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Note I: Helzel is what you do with a chicken neck. Think of it as a boudin or boiled savoury pudding. Having removed the skin of the chicken's neck by pulling it off like a sock, you rinse it and stuff it with matze meal, spices (paprika, pepper, salt), smous, and some chopped aromatics (onion, carrots, celery). But mostly matze meal and smous (English: shmaltz). Then you carefully tie it at both ends and lay it in the cholent to cook along. But you could also use all the ingredients to make a cholent kugel instead. Which is kind of an odd idea, but what have you.

Note II: The total amount of beans is one and a half cups before soaking. Kidney and navy are standard, but you could also substitute kik-erten (chickpeas) or another kind of gas-fruit for some of the reds and whites. The cooking will be long enough that the flavours will meld, and you want a pleasing appearance. Do not use Lima beans, as they are an abomination.

Note III: Placing the crackled hard-boiled eggs in the pot will give you beid hameen (hwevos haminados) of a sort. Most delicious.


If you're having lechem with your cholent as I suggested, you must say motzi (boruch atta Adonoi Eloheinu, melech ho olom, hamotzi lechem min ho'oretz).
Read all about motzi (http://dovbear.blogspot.com/2007/07/artscroll.html) beforehand.

If you're having this during the week, it can be served with white rice. In which case a bottle of Parbo or Red Stripe ("hooray, beer!") would not be amiss.