At the back of the hill

Warning: If you stay here long enough you will gain weight! Grazing here strongly suggests that you are either omnivorous, or a glutton. And you might like cheese-doodles.
BTW: I'm presently searching for another person who likes cheese-doodles.
Please form a caseophilic line to the right. Thank you.

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

RECEP TAYYIP ERDOGAN AND GOATS

A comedian in Germany is in hot water with the Turks because he wrote a poem alleging that their president, Recep Tayyip Erdogan, has naughty goings-on with goats. Which is a foul slander! The honourable mister Erdogan is physically incapable of intercoursing goats!

Over the years, the honourable mister Erdogan has developed quite a phenomenal Veeyagarea habit, and now brutalizes Syrian refugees and Kurds for his pleasure, and is occasionally so whacked to the gills on medication that he waves his minuscule private parts in the general direction of Angela Merkel, but he does NOT do goats.

Although he does invite them to afternoon tea, and then attempts to discuss philosophy with them.


Really, what is one to say about a country whose president gets his knickers in a twist over a satirical poem in German?


Maybe we shouldn't give him goats?


CITE:
A German TV comic, Jan Boehmermann, has been placed under police protection after he read an obscene poem about Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan.
A police spokesperson said a patrol car had been parked in front of his house.
Mr Erdogan has filed a criminal complaint against the satirist in a case that has prompted a debate in Germany over freedom of speech.
German prosecutors are investigating whether he broke a law against insulting foreign leaders.
END CITE.

[SOURCE: Turkish goat fudge - BBC.]

Apparently the Pan-Turkish Man-Goat Friendship Association objected to the poem. Quote: "Bild website reported that the satirist and his family were apparently facing a threat from supporters of the Turkish president."


I've always been suspicious of the warm feelings Turks have for goats, as there is no evidence whatsoever that it is reciprocated, and goats cannot possibly thrive on a steady diet of milky tea and cucumber sandwiches around four o'clock. Nor would they appreciate the thoughts of Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz, Immanuel Kant, Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel, Arthur Schopenhauer, Karl Marx, Friedrich Nietzsche, Martin Heidegger, and Ludwig Wittgenstein, being shouted at them everyday in a strong and ridiculous Ottoman accent.

Or any accent, really.


I encourage mr. Recep Tayyip Erdogan to cease tormenting goats, give the cucumber sandwiches to the poor, and find Christ. His life will be so much better, the goats will be a lot happier, and people will finally like him.



SCHMÄHKRITIEK
Ein gedicht von Jan Böhmermann


Sackdoof, feige und verklemmt,
Ist Erdogan der präsident.
Sein gelöt stinkt schlimm nach döner,
selbst ein schweinepfurz riecht schöner.

Er ist der mann der mädchen schlägt,
Und dabei gummimasken trägt.
Am liebsten mag er ziegen ficken,
Und minderheiten unterdrücken,

Kurden treten, Christen hauen,
Und dabei kinderpornos schauen.
Und selbst abends heißt statt schlafen,
Fellatio mit hundert schafen.

Ja, Erdogan ist voll und ganz,
Ein präsident mit kleinem schwanz.
Jeden Türken hört man flöten,
Die dumme sau hat schrumpelklöten,

Von Ankara bis Istanbul,
Weiß jeder, dieser mann ist schwul,
Pervers, verlaust und zoophil
Recep Fritzl Priklopil.

Sein kopf so leer, wie seine eier,
Der star auf jeder gangbang-feier.
Bis der schwanz beim pinkeln brennt,
Das ist Recep Erdogan, der Türkische präsident.

[Please note: the poem is transcribed, translated, and annotated in a subsequent blogpost. Here: Turkish Quatrains.]


What's this about gummimasken? We already knew about the kleinem schwanz and schrumpelklöten, but the gummimasken alarm me.
They might upset the goats.




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