At the back of the hill

Warning: If you stay here long enough you will gain weight! Grazing here strongly suggests that you are either omnivorous, or a glutton. And you might like cheese-doodles. BTW: I'm presently searching for another person who likes cheese-doodles. All cheese-doodling ended in 2010, and there hasn't been any in far too long. Please form a caseophilic line to the right. Thank you.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

THE LIPS OF SPAM

You've seen me talk about spam-comments before, and have probably wondered at my obsession with the genre.
Plainly put, it tickles me. I get an almost sadistic pleasure out of blocking Russian, German, English, and Programmerese comments underneath almost all posts yet hitting the publish button on gibberant Japanese smuttiness beneath 'CONVERSATIONAL STORMSURGE' (published July 17, 2009).
Perhaps there are marketers out there who are both baffled and hurt by this behaviour. Why should I block them, but favour the Japanese, whom nobody can read anyway?!?! And maybe they take this 'rejection' as a sign of rejection, and feel diminished in consequence.

I certainly hope so.
In short: Japanese naughty bits - YES. Lovely.
Anything else - NO! Icky icky icky!

Except today. Today some German dude placed the following message underneath CHOFETZ CHAIM - NOT A HAGIOGRAPHY:

"Ihr habt eine schoene Webseite hier, und vielciht schaut Ihr euch auchmal meine an, ok Sex im Internet ist nicht jedermans Sache, aber eben meine erste Homepage. Danke und macht weiter so! http:/www.party-strip.eu"


That post was published on April 25, 2007 - nearly three years ago. It discusses a Lithuanian Chassidic master, rav Yisroel Meir Kagan haKohen (1839 - 1933). His publishing-name (Chofetz Chaim) is from Psalm 34, verses thirteen through 15: "Mi ha ish he chafetz chayim, ohev yamim lirat tov?" (Who is the man that choses life, and loves days in which he sees good?). “Netzor lashonecha me ra, u sfateicha midaber mirma,” (Hold your tongue from evil, and your lips from voicing deceit), “Sur me ra, va ase tov, bekesh shalom ve radefehu!” (turn from evil and do good, look for peace and pursue it).


HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE CHAFETZIM!

I let the spamment through. No, it had nothing to do with the Chofetz Chaim. But I like the courtesy of the writer, who politely invites me to take a gander at his webseite, then frankly and humbly admits 'okay, sex in the internet is not for everyone, but it's his first homepage'.
His note of boyish yearning is quite quite charming.

I remember my first homepage. It had nothing to do with sex at all, but that was ages ago. Since then it has become plain that the internet only exists for three things: pornography, cute kitten pictures, and recipes.

Times have changed. I am seriously thinking of getting a netbook of some kind, so that I can freely browse the internet for ... kitten pictures.

And recipes. Lots of exciting recipes!

===========================================================

APPENDIX

From the aforementioned post:
The Chofetz Chaim had a brilliant student at the yeshiva in Radin, who married, and eventually stopped studying, as the needs of providing for a family took up more and more of his time

One day the Chofetz Chaim ran into him, and urged him to resume his studies, even if only by joining a group for the study of one blatt (one folio page, side a and b) of Talmud a day. The student apologized, but indicated that this would be of little use – he used to devour ten blatt a day, surely one blatt would be as nothing? Better to wait until he again had the time, and then return to his studies

The Chofetz Chaim told him of a man who was warned by his doctor to stay away from the baths, because in his weak condition they would prove too enervating. One day he passed the bath-house, gave in to temptation and went inside, enjoying the heat and steam for several hours. After a while, however, the heat affected him, so badly that he believed he would faint

Mustering all his remaining strength, he rushed to the Mikvah to cool off.
But what was this? The door was locked! He wailed in despair. Someone came at his calling, with a basin of cold water to pour over him and relieve his discomfort.
Now surely this man did not say “that basin is not enough, what good will that do? I will have the mikva or nothing!” Even as little as a basinful was marvelous.
And so it is with study.

As Hillel says “Do not say ‘when I have leisure I will study’, for perhaps you may never have leisure.” [Pirkei Avos 2:5]

Perhaps, after his fascination with naked pictures has been sated, my German commenter may go on to higher things. Hillel even. Or the Chofetz Chaim.

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