At the back of the hill

Warning: If you stay here long enough you will gain weight! Grazing here strongly suggests that you are either omnivorous, or a glutton. And you might like cheese-doodles.
BTW: I'm presently searching for another person who likes cheese-doodles.
Please form a caseophilic line to the right. Thank you.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

IT'S THE CHICKEN!

Follows a brief e-mail from Savage Kitten. It clarifies the chicken-slaughtering note in the previous post.


Mud in one's eye


Oy, it's almost too much, seeing T--- on Sunday, then D--- today.
That's Tomahawk Face, the "I am a Self-Appointed Judge of the Arts" 60 something year old white woman. As usual, she was waiting for the bus. Still as well-dressed as ever and yet someone I wish to NOT know.

This being AFTER I'd helped (with 4 others also with assorted cleavers) trim 437 lbs of chicken quarters at C--- H--- half a block down. Oddly fun, dealing with webs and clumps of chicken fat. So no doubt I looked radiant with hours well spent, my inner beauty obvious.

Anyway, outside the Chinatown library, there's a different well-dressed white woman (where do these people come from?!) with two toned high heels. She's on her cell phone and asks, "is there usually blood in his stool?" See? Interesting day so far, and I've yet to pop in on The Momster with a (cooked) chicken.


-----------------------------------------------

AFTERWORD

Of course, the question you must now ask yourself is "does someone who has just finished trimming 437 pounds of chicken" have a glow of radiant inner beauty, or is that a distinct whiff?"
You must ask yourself this. Do not ask me. Trust me, that's a glow of radiant inner beauty. And you had better think so too.

RADIANT IN THE GLOW FROM THE NIGHT LIGHT

There are times when Savage Kitten prefers to sleep in her own room. This has nothing to do with our relationship, nor with emotional states. Rather, it reflects her desire to have a full nights sleep. Sleeping with The Toad pretty much precludes that otherwise.
Sometimes it's just impossible.

I am NOT admitting in this post that I am a sexfiend. It is not because of my liveliness or appetites that this necessary. By no means!

[I am not denying it either. Think what you wish. And feel free to fantasize abundantly about my prodigious vim & vigour, even though they are none of your business.]


The reason is because I behave 'strangely' while asleep.
She snores, but I wiggle. And thump the mattress. And turn. And, on occasion, speechify. Or sing and weep.
I am the rollercoaster of bedmates, according to her.
Boruch Hashem she did not liken me to Regan (Linda Blair).

Of course, when she is in her room getting a good night's sleep, I am not nearly so fortunate.
Having her beside me is comforting, and comfortable. Both reassuring and very nice.
It does mean that I have to stick my feet outside the covers to regulate my body temperature (she is warmer than I am), but I have no problem falling asleep with freezing feet. Her presence is conducive to sweet dreams.


Last night was one of those other nights, however. She wanted to be well-rested before slaughtering chickens today - she volunteered for one of the local Chinese charities, and they're doing something involving lots of fowl (I'm guessing wholesale massacre).
Anyhow.
She went to her room after I feel asleep.

In the middle of the night I woke up. Then she, in the other room, also woke up. Her footsteps receded down the hall, there was a flush, and then the footsteps padded nearer again. Still half-asleep and not realizing what she was doing, she came into my room.
A few seconds later she noticed where she was and returned to her room.


I didn't fall back asleep for another hour and a half, nearly two hours.


It was all her fault!


I don't think any man would've fallen asleep again after a lovely woman entered his bedroom.
Radiantly stark naked.
There may be something wrong with you if that doesn't keep you awake.

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Wednesday, April 29, 2009

FLAMBOYANT AND FABULOUS!

Amid all the depressing news about the economy, the middle east, swine flu, and senator Arlen Specter, it is good to see that there is at least one place in this world where proper priorities are maintained.


Thailand.


A senior Buddhist clergyman is planning to address behavioural problems among gay and transgender monks. Things have gone far enough, so a severe instructional booklet will be issued.
Among the excesses of which these gay and transgender monks are guilty: tight robes, pink purses, and penciled eye-brows.
What is this world coming to?
It was about time someone did something.

NONE OF THEM WERE MUSLIMS

In 1948, British forces in Malaya killed twenty four unarmed civilians. The perpetrators were all vindicated by British authorities, it being asserted that the soldiers had no choice but to shoot them to prevent the unarmed men fleeing into the jungle. Their village was subsequently set on fire, and the survivors prevented from burying the dead for a week.


The British government is not unduly concerned about this event.
The Malaysian government has shown scant interest in raking it up.
It is not an issue.


The victims were not Muslims.


They were Chinese Malayans.


After the world war, Britain was concerned with placating the restless Malays and assuring themselves of a source for rubber and tin. The Chinese Malayans, who had resisted the Japanese, were less important in the grand scheme of things than the Malays, who had quiescently collaborated with the Japanese.
Neither the British nor the Malays were concerned with justice for the Chinese Malayans, who had been particularly brutalized by the Japanese occupiers, or with including the Chinese Malayans in future power structures of the soon-to-be independent Malay state, choosing instead to 'reward' them for their stubborn resistance to the Japanese by a policy of ethnic exclusionism (the seed for apartheid policies against Chinese in modern Malaysia).
This, probably more than anything else, led to an emergency that lasted twelve years.

The Chinese community had been robbed and repressed by the Japanese, the Malays had collaborated, and were well rewarded. When the British returned, the Malays loyally collaborated again, to very great advantage.
Many of the Malayan Chinese consequently saw little choice but to join the insurgency.

The men of the village of Batang Kali who were killed by the British were not Muslims but Chinese. In the eyes of the British, that meant that they were almost certainly rebels. And in the eyes of the Malays, they were Chinese.

Both of those qualities were good reasons to execute them. The British were fighting a war, the Malays were profitably collaborating with the strongest party.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8025383.stm


From that article:

"Four of the Scots Guards gave sworn testimony, confirming that the shootings took place, confirming that the victims were unarmed. "
"We were kept away for a week and when we returned we found the bloated bodies, half eaten by animals."



[More data here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Batang_Kali_massacre and here: http://dapmalaysia.org/all-archive/English/2004/jul04/bul/bul2460.htm]


I can understand the British authorities being unenthusiastic about re-examining the facts.
No ex-colonial power is glad to have its misbehaviour highlighted.
The British, French, and Dutch insist that their role in the East was that of enlightened bringers of civilization, law, and order, and that colonialism only benefitted the natives, who were incapable of administering themselves according to the standards of the civilized world. And who really wishes to dispute that?

I can also understand why the Malaysian authorities are not overly concerned - these were not Muslims, and therefore by the standards of Malaysia they can not really count for much.
Besides, there is no point in encouraging ANY sense of grievance among the Chinese. Surely that only leads to trouble?


I'm just noting that this was a war crime. One of many war crimes committed by the colonial powers in the years after the world war - thousands of people were killed or tortured in the eastern territories during the last gasps of the British, French, and Dutch empires.
This is just another war crime which our friends and allies (the former colonial powers) would rather forget. Why bring up dead issues?
After all, they lost their empires.
I also note that the survivors are now few in number, old and frail. When the last of them has died and still no justice has been done, the official version of events will stand. The victims will only be remembered as 24 among the tens of thousands of "communists" killed during the insurrection.
Seeing as so few Muslims died, compared to so many Chinese, the victory was without a doubt well worth it. Especially for the Malays.
And they are wonderful people, the Malays.

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EURABIAN FAMILY VALUES - AVOID GOUDA

Dutch police, unlike law enforcement in America, labour under such a whelter of rules, regulations, advisements, and bureaucratic red tape, that for all intents and purposes they have less authority than the average baby sitter.


This is especially evident after an incident in Gouda (Netherlands) on Monday.


Two teenage girls were attacked by five Moroccan youths, who pelted them with rocks, called them 'cancer-whores' (kankerhoeren), chased them, and slammed the bicycle of one of the girls on top of her as she was lying on the ground. One of the girls has a concussion and both have severe scrapes and bruises.
The boys were questioned by the police and released.


No, there was no reason for the attack. The girls did not provoke. They were not scantily dressed or offering to blow sailors for candy and spare change.
In no way other than being female did they offend the sensibilities of the Moroccans.

In fact, if they actually had been scandalously dressed OR offering to service nautical personages, it still would not have been the business of the loitering Arab jugend.
The girls' behaviour, comportment, clothing, or sparkling eyes - of what concern are these?

It says something about cowardice and a lack of proper up-bringing that the attackers were males, outnumbered the victims, and were not held back or restrained by other Moroccan teenagers in the vicinity, or by their own values and sensibilities.



SOURCE:
http://www.ad.nl/groenehart/gouda/3184964/Zusjes_bekogeld_met_straatstenen.html


What's even more appalling is that the police merely spoke to the boys and let them go.

Quote:
"Vijf jongens (13, drie van 14 en een van 15) zijn inmiddels opgepakt, verhoord en weer op vrije voeten gesteld" - Five boys (13, three of 14, and one of 15) have meanwhile been picked up, questioned, and released.



Released, after pursuing the girls, and throwing rocks at the head of the younger girl. Concussion, bruises, scrapes.
Two girls. Five boys.
Unprovoked violent assault.
No consequences.

Apparently this is not unusual in Gouda. There have been other incidents. Many other incidents. All involving Moroccans.

[Moroccans have become the new Dutch underclass, and have learned to behave accordingly. They are just as enterprising and competitive in their assigned roles as the natives once were, having learned from Dutch society exactly what is expected of the urban poor. Consequently, the Moroccans in the Netherlands should NOT be taken as representative of normal Morrocans, but of a layer of brutality that has always been present, although previously not quite so blatantly, in Dutch society.]


Be assured that any vigilantism by local people towards the perpetrators would be severely dealt with by the authorities - heaven forefend that mere private citizens protect themselves, even though the police abjure that task. Society might crumble!

Dutch bureaucratic attitudes are such that the police would much rather not do anything at all if there is any possibility of avoiding paperwork. Their superiors reward that inactivity (and discourage independent thought and initiative), and in any case if the perps cannot be caught red-handed with blood on their clothes, dna evidence under their nails, shocking video of the crime, dozens of witnesses, and the stolen diamonds all over the backseat of their cars, it is far better and cheaper to ignore the matter.
A trial, if they were actually found guilty, would lead to such light sentencing that they would be out on the street again before their hit was even properly buried.


Tourists might want to keep out of Gouda.

If you get assaulted while visiting the Gouda cheese market, the police will perhaps politely question the perpetrators, and probably write a report about 'an incident'. No names, no witness statements, no arrests, and no fuss.
If you decide to pursue the matter, you had better be prepared to stick around for the trial. And learn Dutch.
Even then, a police department psychologist will probably argue that the boys were traumatized, and should be treated gently, being themselves victims. And they were no doubt bored, due to a lack of appropriate programs for drop-outs.
This defense is almost always successful.

On second thought, forget Gouda, just avoid the Netherlands entirely.
The police are everywhere.


===================================

ADDENDUM


Concerning the incident mentioned above, a Dutch-Moroccan writes "what the hell possesses such people? Don't they understand that they are ruining it for good immigrants? The only choice now is a rigorous approach to the problem by the authorities, and a righteous punishment by a judge. I have little faith that the latter will happen - a cup of tea, a cautionary utterance, and the judge will let them go again. No, set an example!"

[Wat mankeert deze gasten toch? Hebben ze nog niet door dat ze boel op een gigantische manier verpesten voor de goedwillende allochtonen. Wat nu rest is een keiharde aanpak door Justitie en een rechtvaardige straf door een rechter. In dat laatste heb ik eerlijk gezegd geen vertrouwen. Een kopje thee een vermanend woordje en de rechter laat ze weer lopen. Nee stel een voorbeeld!]

My dear Mr. Akkoubi, I too have little faith that there will be aught else than an official tssk tssk.
If even that much.


AFTERTHOUGHT: Perhaps I should not read the Dutch newspapers during lunch. Often it leaves me somewhat nauseated - not usually because of the news items, but rather because of the sick comments of the Dutch readers. Holland is a small, myopic, and obsessive society. And many Dutch are nitpickers and relativators beyond compare. Blinkers and neuroses - the dubious blessings of Dutchness.

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Tuesday, April 28, 2009

NON-ARAB MUSLIMS ARE EXPENDABLE

In fact, judging by the angry protests from International ANSWER and the good citizens of the People's Republic of Berkeley, non-Arab Muslims are probably not even human, definitely not worth your concern.


Angry protests - what angry protests?


Exactly. There were none. There have been none. There will be none.
International ANSWER and the good citizens of Berkeley have shown themselves INFINITELY more concerned with Palestinians (Arabs) than with any number of Chechens, Somalis, Sudanese or Thais.


Chechnya: between 30,000 and more than 100,000 war dead - 1994 to present.
Somalia: hundreds of thousands dead - 1991 to present.
Sudan: Over 300,000 dead, over 2 million displaced - 2003 to present.
Thai Muslims: Over 3,500 dead since 2004.

[The three southern provinces of Thailand - Narathiwat, Yala and Pattani - were annexed by Siam in 1902. The natives are not Thai, and speak Malay. Thai and Malay are not even linguistic relatives, let alone in any way mutually intelligible. The cultural differences are just as large as the linguistic differences.]



Berkeley does not protest these deaths. International ANSWER ignores the dead Muslims of Chechnya, Somalia, Sudan, and Thailand.
The dead Muslims that make both Berkeleyites and International ANSWER folks rabid have ALWAYS been Arabs. Only Arabs. No one else but Arabs.


Chechens are not Arabs. So no outrage.
Somalis and Sudanese are far too dark, why they're quite Negro-looking! No outrage.
Thai Muslims are little brown people, and not worth any outrage whatsoever.


It is axiomatic that Berkeley and International ANSWER will never engage in mass-action on behalf of Muslims who are not Arabs, will not boycott as a protest, will not threaten people on campus, will not write to their politicians, will not hold rallies, will not, in fact, do anything at all.
Over a hundred thousand dead Chechens are just not something to get excited about, several hundred thousand dead Africans are rather inconsequential, thousands of dead Thai Muslims are manifestly minor in the grand scheme of things.
Oh, and they aren't Arabs, so they're just not worth it.
They're garbage.

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GENERIC KOSHER ANIMAL INFLUENZA

In a move remarkable for its sheer goofiness, the Israeli acting health minister refuses to use the word 'swine' (or its Hebrew equivalent) in describing Swine Flu. Because it is 'unclean'. Even the word can cause pollution.
Instead, its 'Mexican Flu'.
Much like the pox is French, and Homosexuals in Iran are 'decadent Westerners'.


Only kosher animals deserve the flu.


Mexicans are many things (being a remarkably talented and diverse lot), but I have to doubt whether they are kosher.
I mean, yes, they probably taste just like chicken -- actually, human beings are supposed to taste like pork, hence the term 'long pig', but I only have this on hearsay, there has been NO foodslut research in that direction from this blogger, I assure you, so let us just assume that like everything else, "it tastes just like chicken" -- but given that the word 'chazir' for pig has been used in Hebrew since at least the time of Genesis, whereas many Israelis are only marginally familiar with Mexicans (there were NO Mexicans on the ark or in the midbar), and even the concept 'Mexican' is entirely non-Hebraic, it does seem more sensible to simply call it the pig flu.

[As it says in psalm 80, "yecharsemena chazir mi ya'ar ve ziz sadai yirena" ('the chazir from the forest despoils it and the wild creature of the prairie feeds upon it'), which is taken to be a reference to the Syrians and other Edomites, and their behaviour toward the vine of the Lord (Israel). So it is actually utterly appropriate!]


CHAZIR FLU!


No?

You don't want to even have to think of treifus?

Are you sure?

Then how about simply 'The Generic Kosher Animal In Lieu of That Animal Flu'?

Too long?


Oh fercrap's aches, just do what we Americans did when we were pissed at the French.
Call it the "Freedom Flu".
That will surely keep everyone happy.

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Monday, April 27, 2009

MY BREASTS ARE TOO BIG!

Sometimes, one's significant other says something that, if you are unaware of context, strikes you as hysterically funny. Or stark-raving bonkers. Such as the phrase headlining this post.


Yesterday Savage Kitten went out to lunch with an old friend from her days studying megaviolence with sifu XXX. When she came back, she cruised into the television room all bubbly, having had an enjoyable time talking smack about some of the white people who had also studied megaviolence with that teacher -- understand, please, that I shall not divulge either the type of martial art, or the teacher's name (the circles studying how to inflict major damage on other people are so small and incestuous in the Bay Area that it would breach her and my anonymity) -- most of whom were puffy graceless poseurs into the spiritual and artistic aspects of megaviolence who always felt hurt if deprived of the limelight.
Yes, we white people are drama queens, and it's all about those neat-o costumes.


After a few minutes of happy burbling, she took off her coat and headed to the bathroom. Seconds later an anguished wail rang through the apartment:
"MY BREASTS ARE TOO BIG!"


Sweetheart, you need to take a closer look. It's not your breasts - they're perfectly alright.
Trust me, I have excellent judgment when it comes to such things.
[Besides, you are Chinese-American - big breasts are NOT part of the blueprint. That you actually have a bosom at all is somewhat remarkable.]


Your breasts are NOT too big, your t-shirt is too small. And that's the black padded sports bra you've got on, I recognized it from the fit. It always lifts and cushions in that exact way.

Men are more observant of these details than you women realize. We probably know your undergarments better than you do, having plumbed the subject in great detail. There are good reasons why the Sears-Roebuck catalogue is so well-thumbed - Or was, nearly forty years ago, when as little boys we knew all about some very peculiar feminine underwear, and first learned of support-panels and stretch fabric.
Even in our senescence, we are still avid students of the scantimenties of the opposite sex.


We fervently hope that you do not reciprocate, by the way. Our ragged baggy boxers will not bear the light of day.

And your breast are NOT too big. They're just right.

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SOUND ADVICE

Here's a suggestion that makes a lot of sense: "Perhaps the conspiracy theorists should collect panties and prawns instead. It might make them happier. Without lessening their internet presence. "


Source:
http://deathbynoodles.blogspot.com/2009/04/ribbons-too-tight-around-their-heads.html



There's also something there about kittens wearing lingerie. You'll have to read it yourself.

http://deathbynoodles.blogspot.com/

Miss Wong often provides a refreshing point of view.

Friday, April 24, 2009

HARRY VAN BOMMEL DEMYSTIFIED

There's an article on another blog that I recommend.


DOUBLE DUTCH
http://www.raymondcook.net/blog/index.php/2009/04/20/alliance-left-and-right-against-israel-and-thejews/


QUOTE:
"Of course, the common interest of the extreme Left, Hamas, Hezbollah and Iran is their loathing of Zionism. The fact that this includes loathing of Jews generally is glossed over by the Left, is denied or represented as paranoia or an attempt to scotch criticism of Israel. It is why the Dutch Labour Party supports demonstrations at which bigots call out "Hamas Hamas, Joden aan het Gas" (Hamas, Hamas, Jews to the gas)."


The most recent manifestation of Dutch demonstrations with that chant were during the Gaza cleanup, most notoriously, the demonstration on January 3 in Amsterdam at which Socialist Party member of parliament Harry van Bommel played a leading role.

The blogger, Ray Cook, provides a link to a video of Harry van Bommel at that demonstration.
One of the other chants in that clip is "Hamas, Hamas, nafdeek ya Falastin" ('Hamas, Hamas, we will redeem you oh Palestine').
What Harry van Bommel chants is "Intifada, intifada, Palestina vrij" ('violent terrorist struggle, violent terrorist struggle, Palestine free').
There are also some chants of Allah Akbar, and similar noises.


Anyhow, click on the link above and read the post. It's about the very European idea that despite Hamas swearing to exterminate all Jews, Israel should just shut up and accept them as a partner.
Harry van Bommel would go one step further.

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PERVERT IN PARBO

A fellow-member of the Suriname mailing list forwarded an article from a Parbo source about a child molester sentenced to six years (the prosecution had asked for four years).
What's interesting is NOT the short sentence, but the remarks and opinions of the court.

[Suriname: Surinam - Dutch Guiana, independent since 1975. Parbo: Paramaribo - the capitol city of Suriname. Note that Surinam is a linguistic madhouse - not only Dutch and English are spoken there, but several Creoles and Pidgins, as well as Javanese, Malay, Sarnami Hindi, Papiamentu, Keh, and Amerindian languages. The most common Surinamese language is Sranantongo. There are more Sranantongo-speakers in the Netherlands than in Parbo.]



CONSIDERED OPINIONS, GRAVIDLY EXPRESSED

The prosecution (Claudia Bruining, Officier van justitie) stated that it flabbergasted her that Theodorus Martodikromo (74 years old) had committed his crime during Ramadan. She just could not imagine anyone doing what he did during the Muslim holy month.

Judge Anand Charan opined that the locale of the crime was also most unsuitable, it having been perpetrated in a Mosque!


At this point, it is natural to cock your brow - surely the time and place are not really germane? The most important considerata, in fact the only considerata, should be the age of the victim (4 years old) and the nature of the crime.



CONSIDERED OPINIONS, COLOURFULLY EXPRESSED

It is therefore utterly gratifying that the reactions from other readers of the Suriname mailing list are entirely unambiguous. I will not share the exact phrasing of their reactions (translation impossible), but it involved testicles, trees, the possibility and likelihood of prison brutalizing, and several furious comments about dense and blithering official idiots employed in the Justice Department in Parbo.
All boiling down to "who cares WHERE or WHEN he did it, you folks need your heads examined".
Of course, the six year jail sentence also proved objectionable. It's not nearly long enough.
All the right values flourish among Surinamers. Boruch Hashem.

MONEY-LENDING TALENTS

A recent news article from the Netherlands states that the oldest piece of writing ever from that part of the world (29 CE) is a loan document.

I accept that my people were filing commercial documents nearly twenty centuries ago - it fits with everything I know about the Dutch.


SOURCE:
http://www.dutchnews.nl/news/archives/2009/04/oldest_writing_is_a_roman_lega.php


Quote:
"The oldest piece of written text ever found in the Netherlands has turned out to be about a loan --- made by a slave called Carus
[cut]
The text --- was originally thought to be about a cow.

But now experts at Oxford University have dated the text to February 23, 29 AD and say it concerns a loan made by Carus to an unnamed third party and witnessed by a number of others, including a high-ranking Roman army officer.
[end quote]



Cows, loans, and dating?

Red tape and dairy run deep in that lot.
Beware of Dutchmen bearing beef.

I wonder if the 'unnamed third party' paid the loan back in full.
If not, there should be consequences.

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Thursday, April 23, 2009

CHOSEN TO DISCRIMINATE AGAINST

Being a screaming liberal, and fairly broadminded, I usually find myself sternly disapproving of the bigotries evinced by other people.
Not everyone is such a saint.

Part of it, of course, is sheer sour grapes. Why can't I be like them? Surely the stupid have more fun? Wouldn't it be nice to have just ONE group to utterly despise?

It turns out that my prayers have been answered. There is a group that even I can thoroughly loathe, slander, speak ill of, and find repulsive.

No, I'm not talking about Feijenoord fans.



THE CHOSEN

It's that bunch from Wainuiomata. You know, THOSE people. Wainuiomata!

An odious lot. Loud, obnoxious, badly behaved, given to excessive drinking, possibly hereditarily insane, and no doubt infected with several unclean diseases. Probably ugly, too.
Trust me, they're bad news. It is within all standards of reason to discourage them from your restaurants, persuade them to not use public transit, and pointedly recommend that they vacate the premises. Feel free to look askance at them. Don't give them candy.

And at the very least, try telling them you're full up when they wish to rent a room.



http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/8012064.stm


QUOTES:

"a bit noisy"

"We have other guests. Commercial acumen tells you that you can't afford to take these people"

"They were having loud parties and jumping fences"



According to reports in the Manawatu Standard, there is an arrogance about them that one just cannot live with, and they become absolutely venomous when called to order.

[http://www.stuff.co.nz/manawatu-standard/news/2344215/Whole-town-banned-for-arrogance QUOTE: " ... somewhere close to where God would put an enema."]


I very much look forward to being nasty to these folks from Weinuwomu....., Wannowumee....., Wayohomewoo....., Whumaynoo....., Walepoo....., Weemanny....., whatever.
It will be refreshing, as I haven't been mean to anyone in ever so long.


I will have to insist that they rename their town, as what it's called now is entirely unpronounceable (which just goes to show what a bunch of deviants they are), and I shall also recommend that they also wear badges so that we may recognize them when they come, as most of us have no clue what New Zealanders actually look like.

Are they short? And do they have pointy ears like hobbits? Sort of like leprechauns, but with funny accents?

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

CHRISTIAN ANTI-SMOKER?

One morning years ago I was walking to work with a cheroot in my mouth. A woman coming the other direction screamed at me "thank you SO MUCH for ruining my lungs, a**hole!".


You are very welcome, ma'am.


I refrained from pointing out to the poor dear that three lanes of slow moving traffic was doing infinitely more damage to her lungs than my humble effort.
I was glad to claim the credit, you see.


This morning, while I outside the office building having a modest puff, a middle-aged woman coming down the sidewalk noticed me and my cheroot. She nearly jumped into the street to avoid the fumes, exclaiming 'Jesus' in a manner that left no doubt that she thought me evil and repulsive.

Again, three lanes of slow moving traffic.

Now, were I not such a nice fellow, a veritable prince among men, absolutely SODDEN with the milk of human kindness and a deeply compassionate attitude that serves as a shining example to thousands, then I would've followed her down the street puffing clouds of tobacco smoke at her.
It is, after all, a public sidewalk. Next to three lanes of slow moving traffic. And clearly her horrid attitude defeated whatever shred of brainpower she may have had.
Stupid sow, there's three lanes of SLOW. MOVING. TRAFFIC!


What is it with these people? They've chased us out of the restaurants and office buildings, banned us from parks and bus shelters, and added tax upon tax to our pleasant little habit. Perhaps that is understandable, for all the well-known alleged health reasons and supposed benefits to the general public. So we have accepted their dictat. And we go outside to enjoy our little vice.
Next to three lanes of slow moving traffic.

It's not enough, is it? Some people would prefer that we actually stood in the bus lane, or in a tight row down the centre divider in between the cars. Instead of on a sidewalk.
Next to three lanes of slow moving traffic.

Well, smoking on the sidewalk (next to three lanes of slow moving traffic) is NOT illegal yet. And you, ma'am, can go inside and enjoy your smoke-free office environment. So perhaps the next time you exclaim 'Jesus" in that hideously offended manner, I will follow your slow-moving posterior down the street, puffing dense clouds at you. For several blocks. Because you deserve it. You are a horrible person. You need to get over yourself.
And I really do wish nausea and bad odours upon you.


Not today though. This cheroot is too precious, and you are really not worth my time. Not while I am enjoying the delicate fragrance of fine Sumatra and Java leaf.
On such a lovely morning, next to three lanes of slow moving traffic.


TOBACCO INDEX

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Tuesday, April 21, 2009

THIRD WORLD GANGSTERS IN GENEVA

Yesterday the European delegates to the Geneva conference walked out during Mahmoud Ahmedinejad's speechiweechy.
Along with the delegations from Jordan and Morocco, I have heard.


The remaining delegates gave mister Ahmedinejad tumultuous applause.


That tells you how serious Africa, Asia, and Latin America are about discrimination.


In principle, most of the third world refuses to accept that their own bigotry is a problem, and most third-world gangster regimes ignore whatever discrimination goes on within their borders. It is only when a fast buck can be made by screwing the West, or toeing the Muslim party-line about Israel, that they sit up and take notice. That explains all those tin-pot tyrannies who have sent diplomats (bag men) to Geneva. At the very least, they'll be able to drink fancy liquor and hobnob with women dressed in designer rags. And if it works out better than expected they'll get a share of the funds the wealthy nations will pledge towards defeating racism or whatever, which they'll be able to bank in Switzerland. Where, conveniently, they already are.



My toleration of third-world racism is on roughly the same level as my patience with the superior attitude evinced by so many ignorant Europeans. Meaning near zero.

You know, guys, there is a reason why so many of you come here to live, and so few of us migrate in the opposite direction. And it's not strictly economics.


=====================================

ADDENDUM

Excerpts from an e-mail sent to a mailinglist.

Natuurlijk kan ik mijzelf absoluut niet vinden in wat die Iranees heeft gezegd, maar ik merk van diverse internet fora dat bijzonder veel Nederlanders het grondig met hem eens zijn - niet verbazend, overigens.
Ik zal daar niets over zeggen, ge weet inmiddels wat ik over Nederland en Nederlanders denk.
Verhagen, overigens, is duidelijk geen Nederlander - veel te intelligent.

Wat die delegaten die Ahmedinejad's gespietsj vrolijk applaudiseerden betreft, tsja, ik verwacht van schurkenstaten echt niet anders. Het racisme en bigotrie van de derde wereld, van de Arabieren, en van Aziatische landen steekt me net zo erg in de keel als het superieuriteitswaan van Europeanen. Screw them all.

Wat herstel betalingen betreft - Ikzelf heb weinig tot geen benefijt genoten van die 'goede oude tijd', daar ik bijna een eeuw na het afschaffen van slavernij werd geboren (dus ook na de depressie, na de tweede wereld oorlog, en zelfs na de colonialistische landen hun imperia verloren hadden).


Ik zie liever dat geld besteed word aan onderwijs, vooral voor de privilegeloze klassen, dan dat het in de zakken van politieke opportunisten word gekieperd.

Afrika (en zuid Amerika) kunnen er ook maar naar fluiten - gefaalde staten, corrupte leiders, en over het algemeen aarslikkers van de Arabieren in de Verenigde Naties. Bung Karno heeft in de derde wereld volop ervenis. Screw them all.

=====================================

Don't worry, all you are missing by not reading Dutch is invective.

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Monday, April 20, 2009

FTP SITE CLEANING - A MUST READ!

A colleague has sent an e-mail to the entire company. She does this with great regularity, as what she has to tell us is of earth-shattering importance. And we should all put our feed back in. Or acknowledge the gravity and greatness inherent in the communication.


Quote:

All,


I¹m in the process of cleaning out old files from the FTP site.
Just a reminder to delete any old files on the FTP site that either you or a vendor placed there on your behalf.
The FTP site is not intended to be a "holding tank" for your files. As of next Monday, April 27th and moving forward any files left on the FTP site (that are over 1 month old) will be deleted.
If you need to leave any files on the FTP site please let me know so I don't delete them.

Thanks for your help!

------------------------------

Well allrighty then.

Now I know how empty my life is. Lackaday, I have no clue whatsoever what the FTP site is, and now that you have let me know of its existence, I finally realize that there is this big hole in my life that only you can fill. But it may be too late!
I have not put ANY files on the FTP site! Ever!
I have missed the opportunity to assert the importance of my old files, whether "tank-held" or not.

Yes, ninety plus percent of the company probably also has no clue what the hell you are talking about either. That should NOT stand in the way of your inculcating a profound sense of loss in them over the cleaning out of old files (on the FTP site) that they never knew existed. They too need to realize how utterly, wrenchingly, agonizingly and appallingly EMPTY EMPTY EMPTY their lives are.
In contrast to yours, for you do know what the FTP site is, and you may decide which files are old.
And you feel obligated to tell us so.

Thank you.

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THE REALITY CHALLENGED FRINGE©

Years ago when you got into a discussion with strangers, there was always a chance that the conversation would head off into deep-space. Perhaps they believed in Masonic conspiracies or were convinced that cucumbers cured cancer.
But there were always certain subtle verbal warning signs that you ignored at your peril, ere you got to the glaring eyes and completely illogical assertions. Astute listeners would seek a graceful way out long before being accused of treason, lying, or space-alien loyalties.


Here in San Francisco, the subtle warning signs included chattiness, eye-contact, friendly sincerity.
So then, answer all questions with a grunt, roll your pupils, and insistently talk about meat and idols to religious types. That, plus several disconcerting nervous tics and much scratching, are guaranteed to keep you out of trouble.

Which explains why it often seems like SF has more disturbed people than anywhere else - We're just acting this way to avoid talking with you. Okay?


Alas, the Reality Challenged Fringe (R.C.F.) have discovered computers, and acquired e-mail. They have modernized.



ELVIS IS ALIVE AND WELL ON THE INTERNET

I mention this, because on one mailing list the discussion keeps returning to the assertion that Obama is a Muslim Communist born in Kenya, put in power by a vast evil conspiracy of ultra-left wing Democrats and Capitalists, with the connivance of most of the Democratic National Committee, the top ranks of the Republican Party, all of the mainstream media (dominated by ultra libs, including Fox), thousand of foreign conspirators, AND a network of traitors and liars put in place years ago in the Federal and State bureaucracies for this specific task.

[Plus, this Obama isn't the real Obama but a convincing simulacrum kept alive by electronic brainwaves.]


The argumentation of the cultists who believe this stuff consists of denying any and all evidence to the contrary, followed by demands to see Obama's birth certificate, 'why won't he show his birth certificate what does he have to hide he's hiding something or else he'd show us his birth certificate that isn't his birth certificate - we want to see the form signed by doctors and spattered with bloodspots from the wild animal sacrifice! It's green and Kenyato-Indonesian for a mooslim I know this waggah waggah!'
Then comes the suggestion that anyone who insists that Obama is validly president must be doing so for traitorous motives and we'll deal with them once the truth comes out.

To give the rest of us all a last chance to see the light, they keep forwarding links to World Net Daily, Obama Crimes (the vendetta website of Hillary loyalist Philip J. Berg, Esquire), and the Washington Times (the rev. Moon's propaganda rag).

Any further counter-arguments are met with repeats of sneering denial, more demands for the long form plus treason accusations, and yet more links to World Net Daily, Berg, and the Moonies.


Now I know why this is happening.


See, years ago, most of us successfully switched from Neviim 2.02 to MSRevelation. This meant that we also changed our spreadsheet programmes, graphic interfaces, and our e-mail. It was in many ways a monumental improvement, our lives sped up, and our functionality increased.
We no longer see the error messages from the bowels of the machine.

Consequently, we're not getting the memos. Anymore.
But they are. Still.

I just wish that they'd get on board the space ship already.
Go on, little birdies, fly away now. Be free. Be free.
Say hi to Elvis for us.
Meat. Idols. Meat. Idols. Boo!
Boo again.

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Friday, April 17, 2009

WAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!

Women just don't understand female beauty. You may scoff, but it is nevertheless a fact. The feminine mind is entirely unable to digest, with any degree of balance, the aesthetic spectrum as it applies to their own kind. There isn't a woman alive who truly understands what makes a woman attractive; whether her self or that cow over there.


"What on earth does HE see in HER?"


A man will never ask this. He knows.

This is why the best shoe-designers and pornographers are men.
Always.

A woman is convinced that there is just one thing - you know, THAT ONE THING, which if it is done, or put on, or acquired, will change her from plain jane to the sexiest woman alive.
Tuck in, push out, and lift.


Savage Kitten has times when she feels that way.
She already thinks that the average male would only notice her if she were tall, blonde, and had watermelons, and she's fine with that - the attention of the average male is not a blessing. What excites her passion to improve on nature, however, is not height, hair, or hooter related.


Shoes!


Like many Chinese girls, she feels that her legs could be improved upon.
I don't see how, I think her thighs are fine, sweetheart, just fine, lovely knees and ankles too - and those darling widdew feetsies. Eeeeeek!

Which is where high-heels come in. Against her own better judgement, she starts looking at what she refers to as 'chase-me-do-me' shoes. The ones with the ridiculous heels. Precisely the type of shoe that only willowy queens and cross-dressers can wear.

The thing about high-heels is that they tilt the posterior just ever so, and throw the silhouette of the legs into sharp definition while making them seem longer.
Sure it looks nice, but only a woman would think that it was the one thing that was missing.

Did I already mention that her gams have considerable charm? If I were a World War Two pilot, I would so paint her on my cockpit. Yummy.

Every four or five weeks, she gives in to temptation and buys a pair of hot-sex-mama spikes. Which she then puts on to go see how they really look in front of the hallway mirror. That brief experience is usually enough to convince her that sane people do not walk in such things, and anybody who wears them habitually is probably going to have chronic back problems and a butt-ache. The next day they are sadly returned to the store and exchanged for credit or something comfy, which she will then look at with regret - sensible shoes just aren't 'that one thing'.

The other night, before bed, she asked my advice. What that really meant was that she had already made up her mind to return them, but wanted feedback or reassurance.
She put them on, strutted a bit, and looked totally hot hot hot!
Absolutely steamingly gorgeous one dynamite babe oh heavens.

Not because of the shoes.
It was the comfy pajamas with sleeves just slightly too long. Cute!
Sweetie, high heels do NOT make you huggable, happy pajamas do.
Go ahead and ditch the pumps. Keep the jammies.

So of course I got to listen to how the shoes hurt, pinched, seemed more comfortable in the store, look at the leg, does it make my ankle look weird, how about the knee, why do these things ALWAYS pinch at the toe, that shade of red is a HOT colour, I can't wear skirts, it's always big blondes who can get away with these things, I wish they made highheeled shoes better but the men who design them are cruel vicious sadists and probably degenerates who would never put them on themselves, even the trashy Philippinas wear these how do they do it without falling flat on their overly made-up faces, and it's totally ridiculous to expect anybody to walk up and down the San Francisco hills with these dangerous things on it's SO unfair!!!!!


Waaaaaaaaaaaaaah!


Every middle-aged Dutch-American needs a worked-up Chinese girl wearing loose nightwear in their apartment.
The rest of you, well, you can stick to the tall fruity blondes or something. Whatever.
We keep the huggable babes in happy jammies.

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DUTCH ISRAEL BOYCOTT GROUP FINANCIAL DAMAGE

Bright news out of the Netherlands, for a change.

Quote:
A Dutch consumer rights group promoting a ban on Israeli goods is planning to take legal action against one of the Netherland's largest Jewish institutions for alleged "abuse" of the postal system. The Jewish group denies foul play.

[Editorial interruption: It is not entirely clear what action they can take, as the alleged foul play is strictly according to their own playbook.]

Peace, which is advocating a boycott of Israeli goods from the West Bank, says the umbrella group for the Jewish Orthodox communities in the Netherlands, NIK, deliberately caused it losses of thousands of euros.

[Denied by the NIK, and with excellent reason.]


Pro-Israel boycott group: Dutch Jewish leadership 'abusing' our postal system
http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/spages/1078875.html



"For two weeks now we have been receiving empty envelopes which we put out for people to support our campaign,"


Peace argues that NIK did this by using its Web site to encourage people to send thousands of Peace's prepaid envelopes through a mailing service that allows anyone to send mail to certain organizations at no charge, since the organizations pay the postal fees after delivery.
"For two weeks now we have been receiving empty envelopes which we put out for people to support our campaign," said Peace chairman Joost Hardeman. "We of course had to pay for this traffic. This illegal manipulation by NIK of the Royal Mail service has forced us to cancel our mail arrangement, and we are preparing a lawsuit against them to cover our costs."

The Amsterdam-based group is also planning to take legal action against two operators of pro-Israel Web sites, including a blog, that advertised Peace's prepaid mailbox.

Ruben Vis, secretary general of NIK, confirmed that the address of Peace's prepaid mailbox was posted on his organization's site, but said that was part of a report about Peace's claims that the Israeli Embassy was pressuring a publisher to drop a pro-boycott ad campaign. The embassy has denied this.

"Certain individuals may have decided to mail back to Peace their own prepaid envelopes, but NIK is certainly not involved," Vis said.


Hardeman, who is Jewish and says he supports Israel but opposes its occupation of Palestinian land, said Peace will nonetheless attempt to show NIK is to blame for "the abuse of the mail system."

[Editorial interruption: Joost Hardeman may very well be a classic self-hating Jew. That type often collaborates with anti-Semites, Jew haters, and anti-Israel action groups. This blog does not know Joost Hardeman, and while we are fully prepared to despise him and his entire circle, we reserve judgment; more research is needed.
We do hope, however, that the bastard never enter the US, and have ill-luck and misfortune all of his days - consider these sentiments as a glorious gasp of whatever remains of my Christian fellow-feeling (not a significant factor in my mental make-up, largely due to the repulsive xenophobia and hatred of other beliefs evinced by the 'fine Christians' among whom I lived while a temporary resident of the Netherlands. I'm still furious at my classmates for telling me on a daily basis that I was going to hell, and at their parents for encouraging their brats to believe that it was virtuous to voice that sentiment.]


The Israel Products Center, a Netherlands-based online store specializing in Israeli goods, recently complained to the Dutch advertising ombudsman organization that Peace's campaign against Israeli products has caused it financial damages because it directly targets their livelihood and brand.


[Source: HAARETZ.com http://www.haaretz.com/
http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/spages/1078875.html ]


---------------------------------------


HOIST BY THEIR OWN PETARD

It seems obvious to this blogger that Hardeman's odious clique got shafted by their own doing. Fitting, even, that their own prepaid envelopes be used PRECISELY as intended - to send them a message.

Considering the well-deserved reputation the Dutch have for being money-grubbing skinflints, penny-pinchers, and hard-nosed financialists, this result is particularly delicious.

[Jaja, beste Nederlanders, wat betreft handel and financiën zijt gij allen berucht omwille uw wrekkigheid, gierigheid, en ethische mankementen. Dat is al vele eeuwen bekend. Meer nog dan zelfs Lombardiërs en Schotlanders. Maar ulieden beschouwen dat van uzelven natuurlijk als een prijzenswaardige nuchterheid, wijl ge het toch van anderen met gene gratie veelt. Tismewat. Tsja.]


And regarding boycotts, this blogger is more likely to purchase products if they are of Israeli origin than of European origin - excepting tobacco products and Irish whiskey.
Reason being that I would much rather support those who are on our side, than those who have spent the years since world wars one and two calling us names and damning us for not being exactly like them - a European habit which anyone who has lived there will recognize as the single cultural characteristic which unites Europeans. Without that hatred for America, they might have nothing at all in common, at least not to the degree that it makes them all warm and gushy inside.


[Well, except soccer, that is. Nothing is quite so charmingly European as a full-scale soccer riot, especially one that causes thousands of Euros of damage, and fills holding cells and hospital emergency rooms to overflowing.
These are admirable manifestations of European excellence, and splendid spectacles besides.]



I truly hope that the envelope thing puts the boycott-bastards out of business.

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Thursday, April 16, 2009

STICK THIS IN YOUR MOUTH

When I cruised into the internet today, my attention was caught by an article about the worst drive-thru junkfood in America.
Imagine my disappointment upon discovering that no recipes were provided, just loving descriptions.


That's like getting a text-only version of Hungry Beaver-Scratch magazine, without any pictures.
And no full colour fold-outs at all.
Now you'll never know how they build those dikes.
No pictures of beaver mounds glistening in the rain, no illustrations of their big big logs being flopped in the mud. No naughty splashing around or drowsy beaver sleep-scenes.
So very disappointing.


I was really hoping that there would be recipes. A description of artery-clogging goodness just isn't complete without instructions. What if you wanted to duplicate the experience? Some of these disastrous comestibles are strictly regional.

Like Cheese-Steaks, for instance. Sure, you can now eat them at that place in the Mission District that flies in the rolls from Philladelphia every day, but it isn't the same! They probably aim for a higher-quality clientele than the average neighborhood grease joint in the city of brotherly love. There will be no barely better than petfood meat strips, no frying in recycled brown lard on a soot-blackened sheet of boiler metal. No dense blue smoke wafting off the deep fat.
No drunken brawls by pimpled thugs with mullets waiting for their orders.
All of this will have to be lovingly re-created in your own home.

You DO want authentic, don't you?

[One of the most lovely food-porn pictures I have ever seen is the Donut Bacon Cheeseburger Eggwich. The photo elliminates any need for a recipe or assembly instructions. I think I want mine with guacamole. ]


SUGAR!

When it comes to food, there is nothing that speaks to us as potently as the sugar-bombs and clustermuck we ate as children. Junkfood is a powerful component of memory, and it is with great fondness that I recall frikadel, kroket, and friet met mayonaise (mystery meat fried sausagy thing, croquette with no nutritional value whatsoever, and French fries with a dollop of mayonaise).
Please do not scoff - you probably relive your youth with something equally disgusting.


At times Savage Kitten yearns for Hostess Snoballs. The Snoball is a marshmallow chocolate poof, filled with sweetened cream, rolled in electric pink coconut shreds. Nothing else tastes so like childhood. Nothing else is quite so sugary either.

I would sneer, except that I remember scarfing down Tastykakes at the Cheesesteak joint in North Beach twenty years ago (several packs at a time) and thus should not even dare to be such a pastry snob.
Instead, last night I desperately tried to find her favourite confection in our neighborhood. They are nowhere to be found, alas. We are way too high-fallutin', even the poor here have refined tastes.
She had to make do with Ding Dongs instead.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

MY COMPUTER HAS A KIPPAH

On one of the mailinglists, the question was raised about permissible activity during Chol HaMoed.

[Chol HaMoed: חול המועד - the intermediate days of an eight day festival such as Peysach or Sukkos.]



What one MUST do is enjoy the holiday. But is one allowed to work?

Well, yes. Within limitations.


The five types of permitted work are as follows:
1. Davar HaAveid: Work which is necessary to prevent loss or damage provided it does not require overmuch effort (tircha yeteira).
2. Tzorchei HaMoed: Work that is necessary for yom tov or chol hamoed needs.
3. Bishvil po-eil she ein lo ma yochal: That which enables another to earn money for food or other yom tov essentials during chol hamoed.
4. Tzorchei Rabim: Work that benefits society.
5. Maasei Hediyot: Simple tasks, including makeshift repairs that are necessary.

Work that involves much effort, or professional competence, is discouraged.

Whether these conditions are d'oraisa or d'rabbanan is a matter of considerable debate - the Tur holds insists on the latter, Rabbi Yosef Karo opines the former. The Rambam waffles considerably on the issue, and the machlokes continues.


I have been at the office everyday during chol hamoed. I am, as you may have guessed, not a shomerish type person. But on the other hand, nothing I do really qualifies as work. Even during the rest of the year I am here to be entertained. This is my living room, my cockpit, my window on the universe.

Especially now.
There's a drawer full of chocolate hidden in the Accounting Department. All kinds of chocolate. A surfeit of seasonal goodness. And I know where it is. Not everybody does, but I do.
I am zipped to the eye-brows, all day, everyday. Life is very good indeed.

But, in honour of the season, and so that at least part of me is Peysachdik, I have placed a kippah on my computer. As a zeicher of the zaman. But also because without the computer I might as well be a half-wit.
This thing does a lot of my thinking for me, and there is much kedoosha within.

Caffeine. Theobromine. Sugar. Wheeeeeeee!!!!!! Chag sameach.

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EVEN THE BBC HAS DOUBTS ABOUT THE BBC

For those of us who tend to look askance at mainstream reporting, recognizing the clear biases of reporters and editiorial boards, the message bleow is particularly seet.



BBC Trust Rules Against Mideast Editor Jeremy Bowen


Boston, MA - The BBC has determined that its Middle East editor, Jeremy Bowen, had violated the broadcaster's ethical guidelines calling for impartiality and accuracy. The finding is likely to amplify concerns that BBC news coverage of the Arab-Israeli conflict is largely biased against Israel.

The March 31, 2009 decision by the Editorial Standards Committee (ESC), a unit of the BBC's top decision-making body, the BBC Trust, comes in response to a formal complaint filed by the Committee for Accuracy in Middle East Reporting in America (CAMERA), and a similar complaint filed independently by a member of the U.K.-based Zionist Federation.
CAMERA's complaint charged that Bowen's June 4, 2007 article about the Six-Day War and its aftermath was marred by "serious omissions, exaggerations and outright anti-Israel bias." The detailed complaint came before the ESC after the BBC News Web site and Editorial Complaints Unit defended Bowen's article.


In response to the ruling, CAMERA Senior Research Analyst Gilead Ini said that while ESC's willingness to openly fault unethical reporting by Bowen is important and encouraging, it is unclear that the BBC will draw appropriate conclusions from its findings and take concrete steps to combat the broadcaster's chronically biased reporting. "Acknowledging the glaring problems in this article is a good first step, but it's only a first step," he said. "The BBC also needs to consider the wider implications here. Not only did the senior BBC reporter in the Middle East show bias in his reporting, but he also made it clear, while defending his piece before the ESC, that he thinks it's reasonable to report from the Palestinian perspective and ignore other mainstream narratives."

Ini feels that the ESC findings and, especially, Bowen's "outrageously deceptive" attempts to defend his report, explain the journalist's past biased coverage and cast doubt on his suitability as a BBC reporter and editor. "There's good reason to be skeptical of Mr. Bowen's reporting," he said, "and by extension, the reporting of BBC reporters who are subordinate to him."

CAMERA is concerned that the ESC, despite having ruled that Bowen's reporting was not impartial, is apparently not calling on the reporter to be objective in future articles. Its ruling states that it is not necessary for Bowen to have given equal space to different views. "All that was required was a clear statement signposting that there were alternative theses subscribed to by respectable historians."

This assertion is inconsistent with the BBC's Editorial Guidelines, Ini argues. "If Jeremy Bowen consistently promotes only one point of view linked to a controversial subject and fails to relay in any real depth other prominent and reasonable views, the result is biased reporting," he said. "This is true regardless of whether or not Bowen throws in a sentence 'signposting' that other views exist."

The ESC finding that "the article had breached the guideline on impartiality" came after an independent advisor commissioned by the BBC described Bowen's assessment of the Six-Day War as being "firmly of the 'New Historian' kind," and "unqualified by an acknowledgment that the opposite or 'mainstream' opinion might have some weight too."
The advisor had also consulted with mainstream historian Martin Gilbert and revisionist historian Avi Shlaim, who both agreed that aspects of Bowen's piece were not accurate.
CAMERA will soon be posting on its website key excerpts from the complaint and the BBC rulings.


###

CAMERA (the Committee for Accuracy in Middle East Reporting in America), a national non-profit media-monitoring organization headquartered in Boston, works to promote accurate, balanced and complete coverage of Israel and the Middle East. A non-partisan 501(c)3 organization, CAMERA takes no position with regard to American or Israeli political issues or with regard to ultimate solutions to the Arab-Israeli conflict.


Gilead Ini
Senior Research Analyst
CAMERA
www.camera.org

---------------------------------------------

SOURCE:
http://www.camera.org/index.asp?x_context=4&x_outlet=12&x_article=1655

---------------------------------------------

If you read Dutch, or spend any time paying attention to Dutch news sources, you may now wish to consider demanding a similar introspection from the NOS and ANP.

Just be prepared for a typical Dutch red-tape response - "we're always right', "you are utterly mistaken", "we are more neutral and honest than anybody else in the known universe since the beginning of time", "how dare you even think that there might even be the remotest chance that we could do anything that might possibly in a million years be considered even slightly inequitable you foreign heathen!!!!!"

Followed, of course, by a runaround of monumental proportions.
We're good at that. It's a talent.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

WHERE THE NEW THINGS ARE

Recently, new things have come crashing over my horizon, threatening to swamp me with uncomfortable emotions. Sorry, none of this has to with Pesach - none of the new crashing things is Pesach related.



EXCEL 2007

What a frekken' pain in the gandy parts this new and improved version of a beloved spreadsheet program turns out to be!
What did they do? Ask the drones in the Marketing Department how they wanted it to work? This new version changes things around in ways that ONLY the morons and mental-defectives in Marketing and Sales would consider good or useful.
News for Microsoft: beancounters use excel, hello? The folks in Marketing and Sales do NOT need a spreadsheet program, just give them some crayons and cardboard and they won't know any better, trust me.
I cannot wait until I get my old computer back, with the 2003 version of excel.

[I have been using excel since the late eighties. Kindly do not frek with something that I've known and loved for most of my working life. I also dream in excel, and if you mess with my dreams, you are asking for trouble. I know voodoo. I am just warning you.]



OBAMA IS A SPACE ALIEN

Or something. There is a group of nutballs out there who insist, against all evidence, that Obama was not born in Hawaii, but somewhere in Kenya. No matter how many sites link to verification of his birth-certificate, announcements and articles in the Honolulu newspapers, all major news sources and Fox News, and even the judiciary, these people keep rejecting all evidence, and forwarding shrill opinion pieces from World Net Daily and other far-out beach heads of the loony fringe that assert that Obama is a furrin'-born Indonesian Communist Mooslim Radical and that even if he was born in Hawaii (which they insist cannot have happened), that does not qualify as 'natural born'.
They do not offer any shred of evidence for their assertions, they merely reject everything that does not agree with their opinion.

[I do not know whether to laugh unpredictably like a hyena, and so disconcert the people around me, or skillfully nourish the paranoia of the writers who believe this crap, in hopes of sending them permanently off the edge of reality. My quandary is that I suspect that some true believers of this right-wing cargo-cult are actually in the Bay Area and on the same mailing list, and I don't want to wake them up to my utter heresy. You know how crazy people are.]



SAVAGE KITTEN IS A STONE FOX

Yes, I already knew this. But I saw her face from a new angle yesterday and was blown away. Again.
She's mine, do you hear me, mine mine mine! I found her first.
This new thing more than makes up for the uncomfortable emotions caused by the first two new things listed above.

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Monday, April 13, 2009

PALESTINIAN MOVEMENT AND BAY AREA COLLABORATORS

A political movement that hijacks planes, blows up buses and restaurants, chucks wheelchair-bound cripples into the ocean, sets fire to houses of worship, infiltrates civilian areas to commit mass-murder, teaches its children libels and lies about blood-drinking, engages in wholesale denialism of historic fact, and dehumanizes the other side – such a movement has NO validity, and a tribe that identifies with such a movement puts itself and its aspirations beyond the pale.

That movement is not only NOT condemned, but actually praised and supported by the self-called progressive people of the Bay Area; their violence and sadism excused and defended, the crimes of their leaders and heroes lauded. Anyone who praises Hamas, Hezbollah, et al, does not deserve a voice, even if they are the ideological stalwarts of International ANSWER, ISM, BAWIB, SJP, MECA, and JVP.

Thursday, April 09, 2009

DEAR PHARAOH, DUE TO VERY FORESEEN CIRCUMSTANCES .....

This blogger is attending two seders this week. But not with his significant other.

No, we're not breaking up, we just realize each other's natural limitations.

While I can really get into Pesach-mode, Savage Kitten would probably be fast asleep, head on the table, before we even got to the matze-ball soup.
She is an antisocial morning person who finds long in-depth disquisitions on subjects in which she has no interest absolutely mind-numbing. She isn't comfortable at all in the company of a lot of people, and is too shy to actively participate in the spoken part of the seder even if she did have the necessary backgrounding. Once her bloodsugar level goes down at night, she goes to sleep. Period. Think tidal inevitability.


There are actually five children at the Pesach table:

1. THE CHACHAM- the wise child: what are the laws and customs of this day?
[Mah ha'edos vehachukkim vehamishpatim asher tzivah Hashem Eloheinu et-chem? Avadim ha'yinu le faro be mitzrayim...]
2. THE RASHA - the wicked child: what does this mean to you?
[Mah ha'avodah hazos lachem? Zevach 'pesach hu le Hashem asher 'pasach' al basei bnei Yisrael b'Mitzraim...]
3. THE TAM - the simple/straightforward child: what's all this then?
[Mah zos?!? Bechozek yad hotzi'anu Hashem m'Mitzrayim m'beis avadim...]
4. SHE-EINO YODEA LISHOL - the child who does not know how to ask.
5. And the SLEEPER, for whom the gefilte fish was probably the only thing remembered.


[Baruch haMakom, baruch Hu; baruch she-noson Torah le amo Yisrael, baruch hu. Keneged arba'ah vanim divrah Torah: echad chacham, ve echad rasha, ve echad tam, ve echad she eino yodea lishol (' ..... concerning four sons, sayeth the Torah; one wise, one wicked, one simple, and one that does not know how to ask').]


Years ago we engaged in the torture that all couples experiment with at first: dragging the other person to social events and office parties, where each mitgedragged significant other was one of the fifty percent of attendees WHO DID NOT KNOW ANYONE ELSE.


"Hi, uh, mister....., yes, well, and how have you been since last year?"


"Oh, fine, miss..., mrs......, uhhhh, erm, yes, fine, so very nice to see you again!"


Yeah, that sure is a thrilling thing to do together.


We eventually realized that such events served no purpose. We are very fond of each other, but parts of our lives do not need to be shared.
I like living la vie Cantonaise vicariously, she appreciates my interactions with the chevra from a distance.


Being a heathen, her method of observing Passover and Easter is both straightforward and surprisingly beautiful: rent The Ten Commandments, sit in front of the teevee with a giant bag of bacon-cheddar chips, and dig that crazy white guy Charlie Heston sounding all ponderous.
Flames, water, lightening, and a wild party. Costumes! Horsies! White hair! Timbrels! Yay!

Then do it all over again the second night.

It's a celebration of freedom.

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Wednesday, April 08, 2009

WITHERED AND HAIRLESS

"Nothing to see here, just move along."

In the first years that Savage Kitten and I were together, there must have been several strong indications that I was not the succesful Cantonese-American Dentist With Real-Estate Holdings that she had been programmed to marry.

One of those indications could have been the building in which I lived. And the other tenants.

Such as Rufus.

Rufus spent his days sitting on the Kearny Street Steps engaging passers-by. He would smile sweetly at you, and nod you over, and when you had ventured close enough he would spring one of his four patented phrases on you.


"Got a quarter?" "Buy me some ripple!" "Got a cigarette?" "Get me a burger!"


It wasn't certain that these conversational gambits were ever succesful, but as ice-breakers they were sure-fire, and along with that brilliant smile probably guaranteed him a rich social life.

Burgers, Ripple, smokes, and quarters - fit subjects for conversation, and one way to spend your declining years.
There is much charm to that retirement scheme.

One day Savage Kitten and I entered the building and discovered Rufus on the stairs ahead of us, having severe logistical problems with his pants. A failure to use a belt had proved his undoing, and the result presented a most educational view.
He smilingly motioned us to pass him and just go on ahead. Which, averting our eyes and stepping around him gingerly, we did.

Evenso, the image of elderly nekkid dangle-bits burned itself onto our retinas.

I think at that point Savage Kitten realized that while the Toad might not be introduceable to her kinfolk (not being Cantonese, or a dentist), his environs supplied an exciting quotient of 'theatre'. That has probably helped keep the relationship solid all these years. Some people are accident prone, the Toad is 'entertainment' prone.
I flatter myself that life with me is not boring.
Many things, but not boring.
[Don't worry, I shan't break into song now.]


THOUGHTS ABOUT THE WATTLEY PARTS OF OLD PEOPLE

I am glad that Rufus decided not to include a pants-disaster into his conversational rotation. Once was quite enough.
[Now, had it been a juicy fifteen-year old, it would have borne repeating.]


The wattley parts of old folks are the opposite of enchanting. We probably already knew that, as an abstract intellectual concept. It was good to have it made clear. Exemplarily demonstrated. But it requires no repeating.
There is no further need to exhibit such desiccated wreckage.
I am still traumatized. I understand now, and it is not something I really need to see again. Thank you.
So much.

Anyhow, she and I were watching television last night.
At some point in the show, an elderly Russian woman decided to undress in a police station.

Then pranced around, and tried to attract the attention of a policeman.


Which prompted one of the most cogent remarks I've ever heard Savage Kitten make:


"There's nothing sadder than old snatch"


I'm sure she's right. But I would much rather not think about it.

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INTERSECTION

One of the pleasures of blogging is writing something that other people either appreciate, or disagree with utterly. You see, it is about opinions and reactions. Readers who are neither hot nor cold but lukewarm, meh, don't do anything for me.

[Part of blogging is also irritating the spit out of certain people - you know who you are. But this is only a very minor pleasure, much like popping a zit when you think you're alone in the men's room at work.]


A corollary is finding blogs that one enjoys reading. Blogs that say "here is a person who thinks, and has opinions - here is a person one would not mind knowing or surreptitiously stalking".

[That last bit sounds creepier than it is. But most bloggers are either semi-anonymous at the very least, or genuinely have nothing to hide.]


Or, simply put, here is a blog that is good to read:

THE TRUTH AS BEST I KNOW IT
Thoughts, reflections, and other ramblings of one exploring the spiritual road less traveled.
http://matthewlkelley.blogspot.com/



The author is a Methodist pastor in Tennessee. It is quite likely that he and I do not agree on a number of points, some possibly major. On the other hand, despite entirely different lives and backgrounds, I find a lot to enjoy about his subjects and his writing style. He is a thoughtful man, and his blog is a good read. And I think you will enjoy it.

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

TROLLS WITH KEYBOARDS

One of the current readers of this blog is mighty upset that I do not jump at his demand for information. Particularly, that I do not wish to cater to his curiosity about the support for Hamas and similar organizations by several of the anti-Semitic-fringe groups so well represented in Berkeley.


See this post:

BAY AREA PEACE-ACTIVISTS SUPPORT 'RESISTANCE'
http://atthebackofthehill.blogspot.com/2009/04/bay-area-peace-activists-support-hamas.html

Quote:
"As is made clear by their websites, their literature and signs in several protests, and their rhetoric, such Bay Area groups as International ANSWER, the ISM, Students for Justice in Palestine, Bay Area Women in Black, Jewish Voice for Peace, and even members of Code Pink support Hamas."

[Forty comments as of this writing.]


I have urged him to google, and even suggested several search criteria. But no. He is adamant that I do it for him. Livid, and having a big ole hissy. Despite the support for Hamas and similar organizations being both extremely well-known, and entirely beside the point of that post.

In that, he is rather like my customers a quarter of a century ago, when I still wrote term-papers for fellow "students". They too seemed incapable of reading on their own, or grasping what they read.


Perhaps he fails to understand that bloggers thrive on controversy, and are delighted when someone returns again and again to their blog. And perhaps he also wishes to put words in my mouth, and trick me into betraying sources or stating something that might be useful to him and his ilk.


No matter - all I really care about is that he keep coming back to be frustrated.
To enhance that experience for him, I present a list of posts on this blog that have irritated the living daylights out of other trolls.



VIOLENT ANTI-SEMITES RALLY FOR PEACE
http://atthebackofthehill.blogspot.com/2009/03/violent-anti-semites-rally-for-peace.html

Quote:
"Peace rally in San Francisco's civic center turns into angry confrontation. Activists scream hatred at Jews. Angry Lakota Sioux radical spouts racist rant, finishes by bad drumming and unintelligible chanting. Dick Becker has a fit. Speaker at microphone calls the police mothe***88ers and accuses them of wanting to kill people. Arab bites cop. Palestinians attack Jews in metro."

Quote from an anonymous comment:
"The same Lily Haskell who led the chant at the AIPAC rally back in late 2008: "Israel Supporters Watch your Backs, or we'll push you down a shaft!" The same Lily Haskell who referred to Jews as "racist Zionists" upon complaining to SFAC back in Sept 2007 regarding the remodification of a mural. "

[21 comments as of this writing.]



WHERE ARE THE PROTESTS?
http://atthebackofthehill.blogspot.com/2009/01/where-are-protests.html

Quote:
"Surely Tamils deserve the same consideration if not more than the civilians of Gaza?
No? Are you sure? You're not just being racist, are you?
You really think it's all peachy over there, and you are not at all concerned?
Oh, I forgot - Tamils are the Jews of Sri-Lanka, and therefore not worthy of the intellectual pretentiousness of the good people of Berkeley. You guys ARE racists."

Quote from an anonymous comment:
"Thats why the talk in Oakland was so egregious- solidarity should be built working side by side on issues of mutual aid, not by creating distrust through lies, demonization and hate. The way to elevate the Palestinian people is not by attacking the Israeli people- it is by convincing the Palestinians that their future lies on the path of peace."

[30 comments as of this writing.]



MALAYSIAN RACISM
http://atthebackofthehill.blogspot.com/2009/01/malaysian-racism.html

Quote:
"Here, we have rejected the ideology of George Wallace, and that type of hate has been marginalized in the United States and most of the Western World.
You, on the other hand, elected his equivalent, Dr. Mahathir Mohamad, to leadership of your country, and kept him, and his reprehensible points of view, in power for 22 years. That racialist hate, and that dislike of other peoples, continues to live on in your country, and thrives among your people. In that regard, you are true imitators of many of the modern Arab nations - societies marked by cronyism, repression of unapproved points of view, and support for terrorist organizations. What are the words screamed at your anti-American demonstrations? Hezbollah, Hamas, and Jihad."

Quote from an anonymous comment:
"Mahathir is a smuck, and Malays are third rate Pakis. So fifth rate Arabs anyhow. An odious petty people without either culture or civilization, imitative, unoriginal, and in all things deficient. Kind of like the Greeks, in other words."

[35 comments as of this writing.]



DUTCH HAMAS SUPPORTERS
http://atthebackofthehill.blogspot.com/2009/01/dutch-hamas-supporters.html

Quote:
"All of these people have tacitly or actively endorsed continued terrorist attacks against Israel. In that desire, they join the rest of European socialist parties (rebranded successors to the old-style Stalinist parties). A more convincing argument for an expanded no-fly list is hard to imagine."

Quote from an anonymous comment:
"The left wingers in the netherlands are not the most educated persons in the world. You can't blame them thinking these things. Most Socialist have had just a few years in school and don't know history very well. Keep that in mind!"

[57 comments as of this writing.]



JEW HATE IN SF: DEMONSTRATION IN FRONT OF THE ISRAELI CONSULATE TUESDAY DECEMBER 30, 2008
http://atthebackofthehill.blogspot.com/2008/12/jew-hate-in-sf-demonstration-in-front.html

Quote:
"Besides, the angry Middle-Eastern Jew-hater with a bullhorn, and the rabid white chick with an equally loud bullhorn and a grating voice, made plain in great detail what the peace movement's plan for Israel and the Jews entails, as did the numerous threats and insults directed at our side by both Arabs and Anglos."

Quote from an anonymous comment:
"Read THE INTERNATIONAL JEW by Henry Ford!!! These Jews are an international band of criminals and BABY KILLERS who have hijacked our foreign policy and and bought our corrupt politicians and control our media but WE THE AMERICAN PEOPLE are smarter than they think. I say it is time we stopped financing them and protecting them without us they would not last two weeks. IRAN will NUKE them soon."

[108 comments as of this writing.]



PIE FOR FINKELSTEIN
http://atthebackofthehill.blogspot.com/2008/10/pie-for-finkelstein.html

Quote:
"A frequent reader and occasional commenter draws my attention to the upcoming visit of Norman Finkelstein, kapo and collaborateur-extraordinaire of the International Phillistinist Enterprise, which will be sponsored by the usual gang of thugs at UC Berkeley - that being an Arab-funded operation going under the name of 'Students For Justice In Palestine'."

Quote from an anonymous comment:
"But Finkelstein sets himself up so beautifully for ad hominems. After all, he admits he is fixated on his mother (oh, gee), and he admits he went into a deep funk when the soviet union fell (3 weeks- no eating and sleeping, poor baby). How can you NOT make fun of this guy?"

[71 comments as of this writing.]



Please feel free to peruse the posts cited above, my dear anonymous commenter. You will without a doubt find soul-mates among the commenters, and probably also revisit some of your own writing.
You will also find some comments and counter-comments in Dutch - that you shall not be able to comprehend them in the slightest saddens me, as I really do wish that more Americans were literate.
There's always Babelfish - no, I shall NOT translate for you, do your own research, you lazy darn Berkeleyite!

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JEW-HATING SEDER AT METHODIST CHURCH

Sometimes the anti-Semites and self-hating crowd do something so staggeringly goofy that you really have to wonder what goes on their little pin-heads. Then you remember: these are Berkeleyites.
And suddenly everything falls into place.

Such as the pro-Palestinian anti-Israel 'seder' being held on Good Friday in a church. As advertised in the e-mail below.

[Please note: it's a fundraiser for self-haters AND anti-Semites, on a Christian holy day associated traditionally with pogroms and violence against Jews, and at a church. That is one hell of a set of symbolic confluences.]



Legacies of Resistance
a community Passover Seder dinner

Friday, April 10, 2009 :: 6pm
Lake Merrit United Methodist Church
(1255 1st Ave at International Blvd, Oakland)

Dinner will be served.
$15-50 sliding scale ($25 donation suggested), no one turned away for lack of funds
Funds raised will benefit IJAN and Middle East Children's Alliance,
to support local organizing and send emergency supplies to Gaza.
If you are unable to attend, but would still like to contribute, please use the RSVP form below.

Our capacity is limited, so please make your reservation early.
Click here to RSVP (preferred), email bay.ijsn+seder@gmail.com, or call (510) 343.6065.

All are welcome.
Childcare may be available with advance notice.

About IJAN:
IJAN is a growing international network of Jews whose Jewish identities are not based on Zionism but on a plurality of histories and experiences. We share a commitment to participation in the legacy of struggles against colonization and imperialism. As such, we struggle against Zionism and its manifestation in the State of Israel's historic and ongoing ethnic cleansing of the Palestinian people and the confiscation of their land.
www.ijsn.net

About MECA:
Founded in 1988, the Middle East Children's Alliance is a registered nonprofit organization working for the rights and the well being of children in the Middle East. MECA sends shipments of aid to Palestine, Iraq and Lebanon, and supports projects that make life better for the children. We educate North Americans about children in the region and the brutal impact of US foreign policy on their lives. MECA welcomes the support of all people who care about children and their future.
www.mecaforpeace.org


A note about food:
Food served will be Kosher-for-Passover Style -- it will not contain prohibited grains/foods, though may not all be certified Kosher. Additionally, remember that different cultural traditions -- Ashkenazi, Sephardi, Mizrahi -- observe Pesach differently, and therefore certain foods may vary from what you are accustomed to.

====================

NOTES

The Lake Merrit United Methodist Church is one of several Bay Area Churches that regularly host anti-Semitic events. This is their website: http://www.lakemerrittumc.org/

Yes, I know what some misguided people might now say - that being the usual self-satisfied priggish crap about criticism of Israel bla bla bla and Palestinian bla bla bla. Don't bother. That is just asinine nonsense, the Lake Merritt United Methodist Church IS bigoted, and entire idea of the primary national narrative of Judaism being hijacked and malformed by a Church and a bunch of severely defective Jews-of-Convenience for the benefit of Israel-hating racists, is a nauseating exercise in hate, anti-Semitism, and offensiveness.

It is absolutely indefensible, and makes a mockery of both mutual tolerance and "interfaith" dialogue.


For your information, the other church in the East-Bay that is trying to revive traditional 'we're better than that bunch' anti-Semitism is Saint John's Presbyterian Church, 2727 College Avenue, Berkeley. That's were the Sabeel conference was held on August 25, 2007. You may read about it here:
http://atthebackofthehill.blogspot.com/2007/08/saturday-among-cannibals.html

Rest assured that Berkeley Presbyterians fair make me vomit, especially when compared to strenge Dutch Calvinists. I'm none too happy with the Methodists either, but in the main something so eccentric as Methodism can be safely ignored.

Still, Tallullah Bankhead was a Methodist, as was Ulysses S. Grant - that means that they can't be all bad. Tallullah Bankhead!!!


And finally, I note with wry amusement that they clarified that food would be served. Anybody familiar with Passover would naturally assume that that was the case, but it is likely that the overwhelming majority of attendees will be severely self-righteous Prods and very superior people who do not know much about other cultures other than that they disapprove of them and normally don't socialize with that lot. These aren't the kind of people who naturally associate food with celebration or pleasure - that's what sneering disapproval is for.

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Monday, April 06, 2009

DUTCH MUSLIM MARTYR

Private 1st. class Azdin Chadli (42nd Armored Infantry Battalion, Royal Dutch Military) was killed Monday by the Taleban, in a rocket attack on the Dutch military base in Uruzgan. He is the nineteenth fatality since the beginning of this mission in 2006


Sources (in Dutch):
http://www.ad.nl/binnenland/3132528/Aanval_op_Kamp_Holland_dode_en_5_gewonden.html

http://www.rtl.nl/(/actueel/rtlnieuws/binnenland/)/components/actueel/rtlnieuws/2009/04_april/06/binnenland/0406_2200_afghanistan_actuele_gebeurtenissen.xml


Why am I mentioning this?

Because his name betrays him as a non-native citizen of the Netherlands, what is called an 'allochtoon'. In other words, one of those people who many native Dutch (the 'autochthonous' population) damn and despise. As has been infuriatingly evident on almost every Dutch internet forum for over a decade.

Since the immigration of Turks and Moroccans to the Netherlands, the native talent for xenophobia has flourished as never before.
Must have something to do with the 'zuilen'-mentality.

[Zuilen = pillars: closed social and societal groups, such as Catholics, Protestants, Foreigners. In the old days, many people seldom came into regular contact with people outside their own 'pillar'. The reason why it is called a pillar is to emphasize the vertical nature of the construct; from the educated at the top to the impoverished and illiterate at the bottom - people who would rather do business with, patronize the services of, and associate in any manner, with others of their ilk. While trying to ignore as much as possible the existence of everyone else.]



There is a condolence register here:
http://www.defensie.nl/actueel/condoleance/soldaat_azdin_chadli


Private First Class Azdin Chadli was twenty years old.
Born on November 2, 1988. Resident of Uden, in North Brabant.
He liked soccer, going out, and just chillin'.
His interests were law enforcement and the military

I wonder what the usual chorus of bigots and nativists will say about his death. Probably nothing, because for some odd reason, they always focus on the worst examplars of whatever group they despise, not the best. The majority, good people, are usually invisible.


Rest in peace, fellow-Brabander, rest in peace.

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