Women just don't understand female beauty. You may scoff, but it is nevertheless a fact. The feminine mind is entirely unable to digest, with any degree of balance, the aesthetic spectrum as it applies to their own kind. There isn't a woman alive who truly understands what makes a woman attractive; whether her self or that cow over there."What on earth does HE see in HER?"
A man will never ask this. He knows.
This is why the best shoe-designers and pornographers are men.
A woman is convinced that there is just one thing - you know, THAT ONE THING, which if it is done, or put on, or acquired, will change her from plain jane to the sexiest woman alive.
Tuck in, push out, and lift.
Savage Kitten has times when she feels that way.
She already thinks that the average male would only notice her if she were tall, blonde, and had watermelons, and she's fine with that - the attention of the average male is not a blessing. What excites her passion to improve on nature, however, is not height, hair, or hooter related.Shoes!
Like many Chinese girls, she feels that her legs could be improved upon.
I don't see how, I think her thighs are fine, sweetheart, just fine, lovely knees and ankles too - and those darling widdew feetsies. Eeeeeek!
Which is where high-heels come in. Against her own better judgement, she starts looking at what she refers to as 'chase-me-do-me' shoes. The ones with the ridiculous heels. Precisely the type of shoe that only willowy queens and cross-dressers can wear.
The thing about high-heels is that they tilt the posterior just ever so, and throw the silhouette of the legs into sharp definition while making them seem longer.
Sure it looks nice, but only a woman would think that it was the one thing that was missing.
Did I already mention that her gams have considerable charm? If I were a World War Two pilot, I would so paint her on my cockpit. Yummy.
Every four or five weeks, she gives in to temptation and buys a pair of hot-sex-mama spikes. Which she then puts on to go see how they really look in front of the hallway mirror. That brief experience is usually enough to convince her that sane people do not walk in such things, and anybody who wears them habitually is probably going to have chronic back problems and a butt-ache. The next day they are sadly returned to the store and exchanged for credit or something comfy, which she will then look at with regret - sensible shoes just aren't 'that one thing'.
The other night, before bed, she asked my advice. What that really meant was that she had already made up her mind to return them, but wanted feedback or reassurance.
She put them on, strutted a bit, and looked totally hot hot hot!
Absolutely steamingly gorgeous one dynamite babe oh heavens.
Not because of the shoes.
It was the comfy pajamas with sleeves just slightly too long. Cute!
Sweetie, high heels do NOT make you huggable, happy pajamas do.
Go ahead and ditch the pumps. Keep the jammies.
So of course I got to listen to how the shoes hurt, pinched, seemed more comfortable in the store, look at the leg, does it make my ankle look weird, how about the knee, why do these things ALWAYS pinch at the toe, that shade of red is a HOT colour, I can't wear skirts, it's always big blondes who can get away with these things, I wish they made highheeled shoes better but the men who design them are cruel vicious sadists and probably degenerates who would never put them on themselves, even the trashy Philippinas wear these how do they do it without falling flat on their overly made-up faces, and it's totally ridiculous to expect anybody to walk up and down the San Francisco hills with these dangerous things on it's SO unfair!!!!!Waaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Every middle-aged Dutch-American needs a worked-up Chinese girl wearing loose nightwear in their apartment.
The rest of you, well, you can stick to the tall fruity blondes or something. Whatever.
We keep the huggable babes in happy jammies.
Labels: Pajamas, Perspicacious blogs, Savage Kitten, SK-vol. 5