At the back of the hill

Warning: If you stay here long enough you will gain weight! Grazing here strongly suggests that you are either omnivorous, or a glutton. And you might like cheese-doodles.
BTW: I'm presently searching for another person who likes cheese-doodles.
Please form a caseophilic line to the right. Thank you.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

FOR CRAPS SAKE!

Dovbear has a posting which is very interesting (link here: http://dovbear.blogspot.com/2006/04/new-threat.html).

I reproduce the entire post below:

Matthias Goering, a grand-nephew of the notorious Nazi, is continuing his ancestor's work. Under the cover of conversion to Judaism, the young Goering is actively working to recruit Jews to Christianity.

And he is not alone.

We tear our shirts over the high assimilationist rates in this country. The American holocaust it's called. And, the knee-jerk reaction is to blame it all on the forces of secularism. There's some truth to that, I suppose, but secularism doesn't pursue converts. Unlike the Christians, secularism doesn't have a plan. It merely creates an environment where planning is possible. For all the breast-beating about secularism, not nearly enough is said about people who organize concerted efforts to convert Jews. Instead of fingering the real threat, we blame secularism, and speak carelessly and incorrectly about how those Christians who scheme for our souls are "true and reliable friends."


------ - - - ------ - - - ------

So far Dovbear. Now onward.

Regarding Matthias Goering, I have lifted an entire passage from the website to which Dov provided the clickable link (http://www.tikkunministries.org/newsletters/RI-news-feb06.htm):

"Last week we were blessed to have a visit by Matthias Goering. He came to faith in Yeshua 5 years ago. Soon afterward God began to speak to him about Israel and the Jewish people. In a vision God called him to be a watchman on the walls of Jerusalem. Matthias told God, "This cannot be. You know my last name. You have the wrong man." But God told him, "I have chosen you to be a bridge between me and my people." Matthias has visited Israel several times since then, and he feels at home here. This in itself is amazing, because since his early childhood he was raised to hate Jewish people. Matthias is the great nephew of Herman Goering the number 2 leader in Hitler's government, and commander of his Luftwaffe forces (air force). "

Blogeditorial comment: I must confess that I think it the height of arrogance and egomania to assume that the voice inside your head is the Almighty. Is it not much more reasonable to check yourself into a clinic, or have a praescription written, or get help?

Still, while this shows an upsetting Messianic (or at least "chosen") tendency for Matthias, I suppose it IS less harmful than running for President of the United States, or ordering followers to pote cyanide-laced kool-aid. Perhaps. The point is debatable.


Further:
"Matthias is a physiotherapist. One of his clients is also one of our most devoted Swiss volunteers. When this sister discovered that Matthias was a believer and a lover of Israel she introduced Matthias to Asher. This relationship is indicative of the ministry of reconciliation between German Christians and many Israeli Messianic groups including Revive Israel. Matthias thought his calling was too heavy, but God called him to simply obey and show up at the places where Israelis are. He has been stunned at the potential for reconciliation with Israelis. However there is a catch; many Israeli's say, "We won't forget and we won't forgive." This trap prevents many Israelis from receiving God's full forgiveness because they are not willing to fully forgive. "

Blogeditorial comment: Oh cheeses! More arrogance! And this time coupled with a tendency to bother strangers.

Plus a wonderful new twist on the classic accusation that the Jewish refusal to accept Christ is due to some perverse flaw on their part.

This new twist clicks onto the 'forgiveness receptor' in the subconscious of many Christians - forgiveness is one of those things that Christians claim especial credit for, and Shylock was not forgiving, was he?

The obscenity in this statement is the suggestion that Jews should forget and forgive, and that not doing so is what makes them damnable. It is doubly obscene because many Europeans blame Jewish vindictiveness over WWII for the ongoing tumult in the Middle East. It is triply obscene because it is a German making the statement.

As any European who can ignore his or her own apologesis and conceits should readily recognize.


--- - --- - --- - ---
I find the whole concept of trying to convert Jews to Christianity repulsive. Much more so than the proselytizing among the general (and therefore mostly Christian or ex-Christian) populace, although there is also something slimy about Jayzits-thumpers poaching from each-other's flock.

There is something stalkerish and opportunistic about missionaries.

Tikkun Ministries, the organization in which Matthias Goering is active, is of course a Messianic group. Most of such groups have de-stressed the term "Jews for Jezus" because of the distaste that term engenders - and perhaps because there are hardly any members of Jewish origin, and none who are actually Jewish.


The compulsion to convert Jews is based in the idea that Jewish refusal to accept Christian nonsense is somehow more depraved than the innocent scepticism of the heathen, and the self-serving conviction that these Jayzits-whacker latecomers to the salvation racket have a holy task given to them, and dammit those Jews should just stop being so contrary!


There is a lot more to it than that, of course, but most of it is quite as repellant, and more than mildly similar to a snotty child's absorption with his own penis.

It's all about them and their collective naughty bits.

I rather wish that the Goyim would not be so fascinated by the Jews, and stop obsessing about them. It leads to weird behaviour.

[Yes, yes, I know. But doesn't that actually totally prove what I just said?]


The Jews who get caught up in the nets these Jayzits-trolls fling out are often the ones who know Jack-diddly about Judaism and zip-diddly about Christianity (which explains why they fit right in with the sect's other dunces).

Of course, roping in the ignorant is a traditional part of the Christian missionary endeavor.

Which is probably why there are so many Christians.

The problem is that even after many centuries, many still know little, and many still act like starry-eyed converts.


I do not like converts.
Generally speaking.



--------------- --------------- ---------------

Lipman wrote the following comment underneath Dov's post:
"I can't see a continuity here. Much more so with the larger number of meshuggene Germans who've been converting (?) to Judaism since the 70s and are now hardline kill-the-Arabs settlers.


Must be great: You convert to the victims, and can still take up grandpa's traditions."


From a similar inability to distance myself from the Dutch, I have obsessively delved into Indonesian history and languages, and know far too much about Dutch colonial excesses. And headhunting, tribal cloth patterns, spicy food, etcetera.

But it is better to be on the outside looking in. Being too much inside sabotages perspective. A conversion might only make such myopia worse.

I did not know that there were that many German converts.

That there are is less surprising than disturbing.
It oddly echoes of the Christian belief that Christians are the new Israel.
Maybe it is also a denial of dysfunctionality, or an attempt to escape it.

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Friday, April 21, 2006

EIGHTY DEGREES, LEATHER, AND TOO MANY JEWS!!!

Remember that post from the Godol Hador which I copy-pasted last week?
The one in which he was happily looking forward to eight days of food, rest, tea rooms, and a BIG BOWL OF JELLY FRUIT AND COCONUT MACAROONS?


[Here: http://atthebackofthehill.blogspot.com/2006/04/jelly-fruit-and-coconut-macaroons.html]

It was his last posting before leaving town for Peysach.
For over ten days he was away, and the bloggosphere was the quieter for it.

But, baruch Hashem, he's back. And he has written about his vacation.
[Here: http://godolhador.blogspot.com/#114564806810341219]

And he ain't happy!!!

------ ------ ------ ------ ------

This is his posting - it is an object lesson! Read it!






Friday, April 21, 2006

Pesach (Hotel) is BOGUS!
(Totally swamped at work after being away for a week, will have to write shorthand. )


15 minute walk from our room to the dining hall!!! And we only brought along the cheapo Target travel strollers, and not our mega expensive, all terrain Bugaboo Baby Urban Jogger thingy. Also I forgot my shoes and had to spend Yom Tov wearing a pair of $12.99 Wal Mart plastic specials. No fair! Why didn’t you tell us this bit of important info in the brochure???? You call yourself Pesach Tours? You should rename yourself to Pesach Walking Tours I think. Jeez. A 15 minute hike to the dining room in 80 degree heat with 2 crappy strollers and a pair of Wal-Mart shoes is not my idea of a luxury vacation.


Also way too many Jews, especially Jews from Brooklyn (not that there’s anything wrong with that). Luckily they were mostly MO Jews. But still! Who wants to be around Jews on vacation?


Also, why was I the only sruggy in shul? Don’t MO Jews wear sruggies anymore? What’s with all the black leather kippot? Is this a religious statement, that they’re too frum for sruggies? (But not too frum to spend yom tov afternoon ‘by’ the pool). Or is it just a fashion statement, i.e. my Lexus is leather, my sofa is leather, my ipod case is leather, so my kippa should be leather too?!


Also, what’s with all these Artscroll Hagadas: Hagadah of the Baalei Mussar, Haggadah of the Roshei Yeshivos? My theory is that the secret nobody wants to admit to is that Seder is BORING for anyone over 12 years old, so they keep coming out with new Hagados to keep it fresh. What next?


Coming soon from Artscroll: The Hagadah of the Gedolei HaKanoim – due for release Pesach 2007

Contributors: Rabbi Leib Pinter – due for release Pesach 2025 (ba-da-boom!)


Also, if you’re gonna advertise a ‘Grand Finale Pesach Dinner’ for the last afternoon of Yom Tov, don’t go and serve some freakin pareve crap and a plate of cheese, unless you want to get trashed all over the blogosphere, you Pesach hotel dummies!!!! Sheesh.

And your Tea Room SUCKED. Way too much Junk Food. And don’t go telling me that I can’t get into the Dining Hall at 10:20am to feed my kids breakfast cos you need to setup for fleishig lunch (and then lunch turns out to be milchiks anyway) and that I should feed my kids in the Team Room instead. Who feeds their kids coconut macaroons and jelly fruit for breakfast???? Are you nuts????!!!!!!

Needless to say we shall not be attending your bogus Pesach Hotel program next year.
[The GH divinely posted this at 3:33 PM today.]


------ ------ ------ ------ ------

One of the best godolhadoric rants ever. And all of that written on his first day at the office, between getting back to the city and heading home for shabbes. Truly, he is one of the gedolei ha dor.


And you should read him. More than you do.
Click here: http://godolhador.blogspot.com/


On a personal note, I hope that next Peysach more than makes up for the heartache of this Peysach.

On a blogger note, I hope otherwise - this is some seriously good stuff!

I'm conflicted; talk among yourselves.

------ ------ ------ ------ ------

Other fine gedolic posts which you really should read:
http://godolhador.blogspot.com/2005/03/weird-wacky-theory.html

http://godolhador.blogspot.com/2005/08/skeptical-of-selective-skepticism.html

http://godolhador.blogspot.com/2005/08/mis-nagid-is-mechazek-emunah.html

http://godolhador.blogspot.com/2005/07/zohar-kabala-ari-i-told-you-so.html

http://godolhador.blogspot.com/2005/04/chareidi-ideology-science-bad-pagan.html

There are many others. Embark on your own voyage of discovery. And let him know you visited.



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MALE AND FEMALE PARTY MEMBERS HE CREATED THEM

In a refreshing sign of modernity, women may soon be allowed to become members of the 'Governmental Reformed Party' (Staatkundig Gereformeerde Partij) in the Netherlands.


But they will NOT be permitted to run for office.


This according to the party leadership, as detailed in the party report 'Male And Female He Created Them' (Man en vrouw schiep Hij hen), published today.

I expect that in typical Dutch fashion, if this proposal is approved by a two thirds majority of the party, a number of dissidents will break away to form a new reformed political party.

Note: Reformed in this context means Dutch Reformed Church - of which there are more than forty two sects active in the Netherlands, including two major branches, and several smaller and more doctrinaire groups. To the outsider one of the major disputes between the groups appears to be whether they are 'hervormd' (reformed) or 'gereformeerd' (reformed). There are other differences, such as which nusach they sing - in Ederveen the nusach of Petrus Datheen is used exclusively, elsewhere there have been concessions to modern Dutch in that regard, but the old Staten Bijbel translation is still widely used.

Some 'reformed' towns are monolithic and 'streng' - Staphorst and Opheusden come to mind. Think in terms of Mea Shearim (and don't even think of driving through on the Sabbath - your car will be stoned). Many communities preserve the sermons and writings of their preachers as part of their particular tradition, respecting these as being just one or two steps removed from the sanctity of actual scripture.

The Dutch Reformed are Calvinist, schismatic, given to rigid judgementalism, and a firm belief in predestination - which means that if you aren't one of them, they aren't really interested in what you do or think. Just don't do it in public and upset the horses, okay?!!


The decision to put this proposal up for vote is described as 'courageous' and 'daring'.

If you read Dutch, you may find the NRC article here: http://www.nrc.nl/binnenland/article290104.ece


Huzza. There's no stopping modernity.


--- --- --- --- ---

APPENDIX I.
Communities that still use the Datheen nusach:

1. Reformed Community in the Netherlands (Gereformeerde Gemeente in Nederland):
Arnemuiden
Bruinisse
Goes
Kruiningen
Middelburg
St. Annaland
St. Maartensdijk
Terneuzen
Zierikzee

2. Reformed Community in the Netherlands - Non Union (Gereformeerde Gemeente in Nederland - Buiten verband):
Middelburg
Nieuwerkerk

3. Reformed Community (Gereformeerde Gemeente):
St. Annaland
Scherpenisse
Kruiningen
Borssele

4. Old Reformed Community (Oud Gereformeerde Gemeente)
Achterberg
Amersfoort
Ederveen
Elst
Geldermalsen
's-Gravenpolder
's-Gravendeel
Oostburg
Oosterland
Rhenen
St. Maartensdijjk
St. Philipsland
Stavenisse
Terneuzen
Waddinxveen
Zierikzee


APPENDIX II.
Petrus Datheen (1531-1588).
[Pronunciation: Pay-tress Dat-hain.]

Peter Datheen was born in 1531 or 1532 in Cassel (Flanders). As an adult, after a number of years as a member of the Catholic clergy he become a Protestant, and in consequence had to flee the Spanish Netherlands, along with many others. It will be remembered that king Philip of Spain was determined to eradicate heresy from his domains and to that end had sent the Duke of Alva (yemach shemo!) to his northern inheritance with orders to use all means at his disposal, even the extermination of whole populations, toward that goal. Exact numbers of the victims are not known, but a conservative estimate of the numbers of natives executed for heresy by the Spaniards runs well over a hundred thousand, and estimates of nearly half a million are not at all rare (bear in mind that the total population of the Netherlands, north and south, at that time was around three million).

When the north had been liberated, Peter Datheen and a number of others who were to be instrumental in the building of the Dutch reformed church finally returned to the Netherlands. At the same time, refugees from southern provinces still held by the Spanish flocked north to the cities of Holland and Utrecht - many of the great literati and artists of the Golden Age were of Flemish and Brabantine refugee stock.

[On a personal note, it was during that same period that my ancestor Pieter Janszoon van Deursen (b. 1575 in Brabant) fled to the north, ending up in Haarlem, where his son Abraham Pieterszoon van Deursen was born in 1607. Abraham Pieterszoon emigrated to Nieuw Amsterdam - his son Isaac Abrahamszoon was born in 1635 at Kings. Isaac Abrahamszoon van Deursen, adhering to the typically Dutch naming conventions of the time (names of fathers and sons alternating), subsequently named his son Abraham after his grandfather.]


The war against Spain would continue untill 1648 (treaty of Westphalia), but the Dutch had so succeeded in debilitating the Spanish during eighty years of fighting that the Dutch East India Company (V.O.C.) became for nearly a century the worlds naval superpower and regularly blew the Iberians out of the water. We're still kvelling about that, in mittn drinnen.

Peter Datheen is most known for his writings on Church structure and practise, especially his eloquent liturgy - a liturgy which, as has been mentioned above, is still used by a number of communities. His translations of the Psalms are extraordinarily beautiful Dutch, but are archaic and impenetrable to many modern eyes. They have been replaced by transparent, and unexciting, modern verses.

That replacing of older liturgical material, coupled with the many wicked innovations which reformist branches of the reformed church have slammed through, has led to many current Dutch reformed church members being neither reformed nor reformed.

[Not that that makes ever-so-what difference to me - my ancestors got the heck out of Brabant, got the heck out of Holland, and then got the heck out of the Dutch Reformed church, and out of organized religion entirely. Think of it as a family tradition of wanderlust. We've even wanderlustily miscegenated with Anglo-Saxons, Scots, and others since then.]


The only work of Petrus Datheen which is still in print was first published on June 24, 1584, six years after the synod of Dordrecht, thirteen years after the synod of Emden (the first synod of the rebel faith).

It bears the somewhat cumbersome title "Een Christelijke samenspreking uit Gods Woord, tot troost van alle bekommerde harten, die de Wet en het Evangelie niet recht kunnen onderscheiden; en die zich met de last der zonden en met de vreze voor de verdoemenis bezwaard vinden" ('A Christian discourse over G-d's word, to the comfort of all troubled hearts that cannot rightly differentiate between the Law and the Evangelion, and who find themselves contested by the burden of sins and the fear of damnation').

THE SMUT POLICE

Interesting article in 'Joods Nederland' today (Dutch Language original posted under the English encapsulation).
[Joods Nederland is here: http://www.joods.nl/]


Pius hackers battle porn on the internet.

So far only Israeli porno sites have been attacked, but the hackers plan to combat all porno-sites worldwide. On one porno-site all content was removed, on others the depictions of congress had been replaced with a photo of the Rebbe.

Underneath the photo is the caption "We, the Da-Net group, have hacked into this site and erased all its abomination", followed by a tirade against pornography, which, according to the hackers, has caused the death of countless people, great misery, and horrible disasters.

["Tot dusver zijn alleen Israëlische pornosites aangevallen, maar de hackers hebben het gemunt op alle pornosites wereldwijd. Op één website was de complete content weggehaald, op een aantal andere was op de plek waar eerst sex-afbeeldingen te zien waren, een foto van de Rebbe geplaatst.
Onder de foto staat de tekst "We, the Da-Net group, have hacked into this site and erased all its abomination" ("Wij de Da-Net groep, hebben ingebroken op deze website en alle verwerpelijke inhoud gewist."). De tekst wordt gevolgd door een tirade tegen pornografie die volgens de vrome hackers al 'talloze mensen de dood in heeft gejaagd en de oorzaak is van onafzienbare ellende en grote rampen.' "]


Article here: http://www.joods.nl/content/view/40511/43/


What to say of this?

Clearly it is a good thing!

It will force countless people to obtain their smut the old-fashioned way, thus benefitting small businessmen and convenience stores everywhere. Some people may reconsider their addiction, and devote themselves to good works instead. Money will be spent locally! Jobs will be created! Trailer parks will hear the happy noise of families finally interacting again!
And Apu Nahasapinapatelam might even be able to hire someone for the store - he desperately needs a vacation.


Disclaimer: I do not purchase pornography, nor view it on the internet; my imagination is good enough, and I have no trouble in my minds eye feeling the warm velvety skin of........


--- --- --- --- ---

Afterthought: What do you suppose the reaction of the typical pervert will be when she cruises into her favourite porn-site and discovers the visage of the Rebbe instead?

This is really where, when, and how these Lubavitchers want people to first discover the Rebbe?

Nu, at least it's not Madonna.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

THE DUTCH WWII MYTH

The Netherlands has for nearly sixty years maintained that during World War Two the general population, and officials who stayed at their posts during the German occupation, knew nothing of what awaited deported Jews.

That is the key axiom of the Dutch World War II Myth.

[There are a few other axioms: "the non-Jewish Dutch tried to protect their Jewish fellow citizens", "they guarded Jewish property in hopes that the Jews would return after the war", "many gentiles hid Jews or helped them escape", "resistance was futile", "many people joined the resistance", and "many Dutch gentiles also suffered during the occupation".]


Well, no offense, but bla bla bla.
[Bla bla, bla bla, bla bla bla bla bla bla bla....bla!]



A book published today, Tegen Beter Weten In (Against Better Judgement, by Ies Vuijsje), claims somewhat otherwise.
Regarding the myth of ignorance, that is.


According to the author, both Jews and non-Jews in the Netherlands knew what was happening fairly early on. Yes, those who weren't paying attention, and those with their heads in the sand, were not as cognizant as the others, but the government in exile, the "resistance", the officials and bureaucrats who efficiently kept the occupation running smoothly for the Germans, much of the passive mass, and Jewish citizens themselves knew what the Germans were up to.


The article in the Volkskrant about the book is here:
http://www.volkskrant.nl/binnenland/article288127.ece/Geschiedschrijving_over_jodenvervolging_vervalst


The NRC Handelsblad article is here:
http://www.nrc.nl/binnenland/article288806.ece


The Volkskrant quotes Professor Ivo Schöffer (Leiden University, history dept., retired) as saying that the book should permanently put to rest the myth of popular and bureaucratic ignorance of the fate of the Dutch Jews at the time. And he also bases that in part on personal experience during 1942: "De Jong en zijn medewerkers waren destijds van mening dat dat wetenschap achteraf moest zijn geweest. Maar ik weet zeker dat ik toen een joodse vrouw heb gewaarschuwd voor deportatie: u weet welk vreselijk lot u wacht." ('De Jong and his colleagues in those days opined that that knowledge was hindsight. But I know that I warned a Jewish woman then about deportation: 'you know the horrible fate that awaits you'').


The author, Ies Vuisje, writes that Dutch post-war historians, most especially Loe De Jong, conformed to the myth that no one knew what was happening. This despite the underground press during 1942 having gone into explicit detail over the Endlösung der Judenfrage decided upon earlier in the year.


The NRC Handelsblad, which is the mouthpiece of establishment Dutchdom, takes a different approach to the book - somewhat critical, and quoting David Barnouw (head of NIOD - the Netherlands Institute for War (oorlog) Documentation) as stating that Vuisje was a sloppy researcher.

Especially Vuisje's conclusion that De Jong cherrypicked among documents and sources to substantiate his own views and omitted the facts draw David Barnouw's ire: "Die bewering van Vuijsje is, met permissie, een leugen. In een passage van ongeveer 40 pagina’s behandelt De Jong de problematiek van wat men in Nederland wist van het lot van de joden. Daarbij citeert hij letterlijk passages uit illegale kranten waarin termen als ‘volledig uitgemoord’ en ‘koelbloedig vergast’ voorkomen." ('That claim of Vuisje's is, by your leave, a lie. In one passage of approximately forty pages, De Jong deals with the issue of what was known in the Netherlands of the fate of the Jews. There he quotes literally passages from the underground newspapers in which terms such as 'completely exterminated' and 'cold-bloodedly gassed' are used').


[Bloggeditorial comment: So in any case the underground press knew, and as more people in the Netherlands were members of the resistance and involved in the distribution of underground newspapers than in any other occupied country (as has been vociferated ad nauseum!), it may be assumed that everybody knew.
Let me simplify that: Everybody knew. Everybody knew. Everybody knew.]


As further substantiation of his assertion that such knowledge was not widespread, Barnouw mentions the following: "Een groep studenten heeft bij ons onderzoek gedaan naar oorlogsdagboeken van Amsterdammers. Daaruit bleek dat sommigen eerder op de hoogte waren van wat er met de joden gebeurde, anderen later, of niet." ('A group of our students researched war-diaries of Amsterdammers. From which it became obvious that some were cognizant at an earlier stage of what was happening to the Jews, others later or not at all.').


[Bloggeditorial comment: And people living in a brutal police state always write the unalloyed truth in their diaries? No one need fear that their private documents will be used against them, or that collaborators and informants might translate one's scribbles?
The only thing that those diaries establish is that some people did not write about everything - people use diaries to record their own lives, and what moves, irritates, or impacts them, at the time. Even then not everything will be jotted down. Not everybody is as irritatingly puntje-precies as Samuel Pepys.]


Vuisje, however, remarks that the myth of Dutch final-solution ignorance was a post-war product: "Direct na de oorlog is de mythe ontstaan dat men van het lot van de joden niets geweten had. Kennelijk was de waarheid te pijnlijk om onder ogen te zien." ('Immediately after the war, the myth originated that no one knew of the fate of the Jews. Apparently the truth was too painful to admit').


[Bloggeditorial comment: Dutch speakers were very well represented among the foreigners serving in the eastern theatre. Granted, they were probably drawn from the most poor-stupid-ignorant segment of the population, but were they 'ignorant'? The idea that reports didn't filter back from the several tens of thousands of Dutchmen and Flemings wearing SS uniforms is simply not credible - precisely like the villagers next to the lagers claiming that they did not know anything. In any case, the role of the collaborators and the Dutch SS legions still needs to be made a matter of the public WWII awareness, rather than dismissed as an afterthought. Much myth remains. Large parts of the truth are still too painful to admit. Apparently.]

--- --- --- --- --- ---

Note that the Dutch view of World War Two and their own part in it has been under siege for some time now. Some of us have long doubted the self-congratulatory aspects of Dutch historiography.

It's nice to see De Jong being toppled from his pedestal.

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Wednesday, April 19, 2006

SHORT HISTORY OF THE JEWS OF EINDHOVEN - PART THREE

Synagogue, school, society.



Finally, after the nonsense of residency for Jews in Eindhoven had toned down (*), the small community started thinking in terms of the typical markers of a Jewish presence: Synagogue, Mikvah, and Cheder.

(*) As detailed in part one:
http://atthebackofthehill.blogspot.com/2006/03/short-history-of-jews-of-eindhoven.html , and part two:
http://atthebackofthehill.blogspot.com/2006/03/short-history-of-jews-of-eindhoven_23.html


THE BUILDING
In 1781 Joseph Isaacq and Philip Lazar purchased a building called 'De Wind' (the wind) on the Kerk Straat (Church Street), for the 294 florins. Remember, the gaurantee of good behaviour that had been demanded of Jews wishing to settle in Endhoven had been 300 florins - from this one can guess how small the building was, and conversely how extortionate the guarantee payment.
[No one ever said we Dutch weren't good at finding ways to profit - and, in a like manner, the prosperity of the Golden Age was founded on colonialist robbery, the slave trade, and selling supplies to the Spanish at the same time as Holland was at war with Spain. Our ethics often take a backseat to our opportunism.]


There was one small problem with the purchase of the house, however. The Jewish community was not a recognized entity, and so could not collectively hold property. Wherefore the building was registered to the ownership of Mr. Isaacq and Mr. Lazar personally. Upon changes in the community, the house was repeatedly sold to the subsequent secretaries of the community, being held next by Salomon Levie and Michiel Schuur, who in their turn rolled it over to another set of penningmeesters.


MULTI-TASKER
In 1786 the house was remodelled, to better serve its intended purpose. By this time the kehal had hired a gentleman to serve as teacher, voorlezer (baal kria), and slachter (shochet), for which multi-tasking they paid a salary of 150 florins.
Not a munificent sum, but the candidate would also be entitled to what was called 'ordinaire profijten' (ordinary profits; the customary sums and gifts of his office). The gentleman they had hired in 1784 was Heijman Mosis (the 'Jewish Master' of Woensel, see Part One). Unfortunately the schepenen (city councillors) of Eindhoven had, in their wisdom and mercy, demanded that he agree to leave town permanently in the spring of 1786 - no reason for this decision has been recorded. To this end, and to avoid further trouble with the local bureaucracy, the kerkmeester ('church-master'; the acting chair of the community) Mr. Moses Salomon had promised that he would ensure the 'delogementing' and departure of Mr. Mosis. This was done with such punctiliousness that Mr. Mosis could not collect the last installment of the monies due him from his salary and from the ordinary profits. Consequently, when Mr. Mosis had resettled in Veenendaal (outside of North Brabant province entirely), he requested that the city administration of Eindhoven permit him to legally proceed against the Jewish community of Eindhoven without being charged the filing fees, pointing out that the entire adventure had left him in some difficulty.

His claims were directed in general at the entire community, and in particular towards Philip Lazar, Abraham Joseph, Mozes Salomon Levie, Joseph Isaacq, and Wolf Polak. The city administration inquired of these gentleman about the case, and were informed that, on the contrary, Mr. Heijman Mosis still owed the community - 39 shellingen (shillings) in rent! He should pay up! The city administration decided to butt out at this point (and how very unlike the Dutch that decision was!). The case was never taken to court.

LARGEST KEHILLA IN NORTH BRABANT
In 1808 (during the Napoleonic years, when the Netherlands had been made a monarchy under Louis Napoleon), the government in the Hague requested information regarding the size and commonly held property of all religious communities in the country. The Land-drost of Brabant (more or less a chief administrative officer) forwarded the query to the city governments, and they in turn queried the local parishes. Aaron David and Lazarus Israel provided data showing that there were one hundred and seven members of the Jewish community in Eindhoven, making it by far the largest kehilla in the province.


The community had started to outgrow its facilities, so, upon receiving a grant from 'der melech' (Louis Napoleon) in 1809, the old shul was torn down and a the building of a new one was begun, which was finished in 1810.


[TO BE CONTINUED]

SEFIRAT HA'OMER 2006

COUNTING THE OMER


There are two parts to this, namely the brocho and the actual statement of the counting.


1. Recite the brocho: Baruch atah Adonay Eloheinu, melech ha'olam asher kidshanu bemitzvotav vetzivanu al sefirat ha'omer.
[Blessed are you, Lord our God, sovereign of the world, who has sanctified us with your mitzvot and commanded us concerning the counting of the Omer.]

2. State the count:

13 April 2006; Thursday night: Hayom yom echad la-omer.
[Today is the first day of the Omer.]

14 April 2006; Friday night (Shabbes): Hayom shnay yamim la-omer.
[Today is two days of the Omer.]

15 April 2006; Saturday night: Hayom shloshah yamim la-omer.
[Today is three days of the Omer.]

16 April 2006; Sunday night: Hayom arba'ah yamim la-omer.
[Today is four days of the Omer.]

17 April 2006; Monday night: Hayom chamishah yamim la-omer.
[Today is five days of the Omer.]

18 April 2006; Tuesday night: Hayom shishah yamim la-omer.
[Today is six days of the Omer.]

19 April 2006; Wednesday night: Hayom shiv'ah yamim shehaym shavuah echad la-omer.
[Today is seven days which are one week of the Omer.]

20 April 2006; Thursday night: Hayom shmonah yamim shehaym shavuah echad veyom echad la-omer.
[Today is eight days which are one week and one day of the Omer.]

21 April 2006; Friday night (Shabbes): Hayom tish'ah yamim shehaym shavuah echad ushnay yamim la-omer.
[Today is nine days which are one week and two days of the Omer.]

22 April 2006; Saturday night: Hayom 'asarah yamim shehaym shavuah echad ushloshah yamim la-omer.
[Today is ten days which are one week and three days of the Omer.]

23 April 2006; Sunday night: Hayom ahad asar yom shehaym shavuah echad ve-arba'ah yamim la-omer.
[Today is eleven days which are one week and four days of the Omer.]

24 April 2006; Monday night: Hayom shnaym asar yom shehaym shavuah echad vechamishah yamim la-omer.
[Today is twelve days which are one week and five days of the Omer.]

25 April 2006; Tuesday night: Hayom shloshah asar yom shehaym shavuah echad veshishah yamim la-omer.
[Today is thirteen days which are one week and six days of the Omer.]

26 April 2006; Wednesday night: Hayom arba'ah asar yom shehaym shnay shavuot la-omer.
[Today is fourteen days which are two weeks of the Omer.]

27 April 2006; Thursday night: Hayom chamishah asar yom shehaym shnay shavuot veyom echad la-omer.
[Today is fifteen days which are two weeks and one day of the Omer.]

28 April 2006; Friday night (Shabbes): Hayom shishah asar yom shehaym shnay shavuot ushnay yamim la-omer.
[Today is sixteen days which are two weeks and two days of the Omer.]

29 April 2006; Saturday night: Hayom shiv'ah asar yom shehaym shnay shavuot ushloshah yamim la-omer.
[Today is seventeen days which are two weeks and three days of the Omer.]

30 April 2006; Sunday night: Hayom shmonah asar yom shehaym shnay shavuot ve-arba'ah yamim la-omer.
[Today is eighteen days which are two weeks and four days of the Omer.]

1 May 2006; monday night: Hayom tish'ah asar yom shehaym shnay shavuot vechamishah yamim la-omer.
[Today is nineteen days which are two weeks and five days of the Omer.]

2 May 2006; Tuesday night: Hayom 'esrim yom shehaym shnay shavuot veshishah yamim la-omer.
[Today is twenty days which are two weeks and six days of the Omer.]

3 May 2006; Wednesday night: Hayom echad v'esrim yom shehaym shloshah shavuot la-omer.
[Today is twenty-one days which are three weeks of the Omer.]

4 May 2006; Thursday night: Hayom shnayim v'esrim yom shehaym shloshah shavuot veyom echad la-omer.
[Today is twenty-two days which are three weeks and one day of the Omer.]

5 May 2006; Friday night (Shabbes): Hayom shloshah v'esrim yom shehaym shloshah shavuot ushnay yamim la-omer.
[Today is twenty-three days which are three weeks and two days of the Omer.]

6 May 2006; Saturday night: Hayom arba'ah v'esrim yom shehaym shloshah shavuot ushloshah yamim la-omer.
[Today is twenty-four days which are three weeks and three days of the Omer.]

7 May 2006; Sunday night: Hayom chamishah v'esrim yom shehaym shloshah shavuot ve-arba'ah yamim la-omer.
[Today is twenty-five days which are three weeks and four days of the Omer.]

8 May 2006; monday night: Hayom shishah v'esrim yom shehaym shloshah shavuot vechamishah yamim la-omer.
[Today is twenty-six days which are three weeks and five days of the Omer.]

9 May 2006; Tuesday night: Hayom shiv'ah v'esrim yom shehaym shloshah shavuot veshishah yamim la-omer.
[Today is twenty-seven days which are three weeks and six days of the Omer.]

10 May 2006; Wednesday night: Hayom shmonah v'esrim yom shehaym arba'ah shavuot la-omer.
[Today is twenty-eight days which are four weeks of the Omer.]

11 May 2006; Thursday night: Hayom tish'ah v'esrim yom shehaym arba'ah shavuot veyom echad la-omer.
[Today is twenty-nine days which are four weeks and one day of the Omer.]

12 May 2006; Friday night (Shabbes): Hayom shloshim yom shehaym arba'ah shavuot ushnay yamim la-omer.
[Today is thirty days which are four weeks and two days of the Omer.]

13 May 2006; Saturday night: Hayom echad ushloshim yom shehaym arba'ah shavuot ushloshah yamim la-omer.
[Today is thirty-one days which are four weeks and three days of the Omer.]

14 May 2006; Sunday night: Hayom shnayim ushloshim yom shehaym arba'ah shavuot ve-arba'ah yamim la-omer.
[Today is thirty-two days which are four weeks and four days of the Omer.]

15 May 2006; Monday night (Erev Lag B'Omer): Hayom shloshah ushloshim yom shehaym arba'ah shavuot vechamishah yamim la-omer.
[Today is thirty-three days which are four weeks and five days of the Omer.]

16 May 2006; Tuesday night: Hayom arba'ah ushloshim yom shehaym arba'ah shavuot veshishah yamim la-omer.
[Today is thirty-four days which are four weeks and six days of the Omer.]

17 May 2006; Wednesday night: Hayom chamishah ushloshim yom shehaym chamishah shavuot la-omer.
[Today is thirty-five days which are five weeks of the Omer.]

18 May 2006; Thursday night: Hayom shishah ushloshim yom shehaym chamishah shavuot veyom echad la-omer.
[Today is thirty-six days which are five weeks and one day of the Omer.]

19 May 2006; Friday night (Shabbes): Hayom shiv'ah ushloshim yom shehaym chamishah shavuot ushnay yamim la-omer.
[Today is thirty-seven days which are five weeks and two days of the Omer.]

20 May 2006; Saturday night: Hayom shmonah ushloshim yom shehaym chamishah shavuot ushloshah yamim la-omer.
[Today is thirty-eight days which are five weeks and three days of the Omer.]

21 May 2006; Sunday night: Hayom tish'ah ushloshim yom shehaym chamishah shavuot ve-arba'ah yamim la-omer.
[Today is thirty-nine days which are five weeks and four days of the Omer.]

22 May 2006; Monday night: Hayom arba'im yom shehaym chamishah shavuot vechamishah yamim la-omer.
[Today is forty days which are five weeks and five days of the Omer.]

23 May 2006; Tuesday night: Hayom echad v-arba'im yom shehaym chamishah shavuot veshishah yamim la-omer.
[Today is forty-one days which are five weeks and six days of the Omer.]

24 May 2006; Wednesday night: Hayom shnayim v-arba'im yom shehaym shishah shavuot la-omer.
[Today is forty-two days which are six weeks of the Omer.]

25 May 2006; Thursday night: Hayom shloshah v-arba'im yom shehaym shishah shavuot veyom echad la-omer.
[Today is forty-three days which are six weeks and one day of the Omer.]

26 May 2006; Friday night (Shabbes): Hayom arba'ah v-arba'im yom shehaym shishah shavuot ushnay yamim la-omer.
[Today is forty-four days which are six weeks and two days of the Omer.]

27 May 2006; Saturday night: Hayom chamishah v-arba'im yom shehaym shishah shavuot ushloshah yamim la-omer.
[Today is forty-five days which are six weeks and three days of the Omer.]

28 May 2006; Sunday night: Hayom shishah v-arba'im yom shehaym shishah shavuot ve-arba'ah yamim la-omer.
[Today is forty-six days which are six weeks and four days of the Omer.]

29 May 2006; Monday night: Hayom shiv'ah v-arba'im yom shehaym shishah shavuot vechamishah yamim la-omer.
[Today is forty-seven days which are six weeks and five days of the Omer.]

30 May 2006; Tuesday night: Hayom shmonah v-arba'im yom shehaym shishah shavuot veshishah yamim la-omer.
[Today is forty-eight days which are six weeks and six days of the Omer.]

31 May 2006; Wednesday night: Hayom tish'ah v-arba'im yom shehaym shiv'ah shavuot la-omer.
[Today is forty-nine days which are seven weeks of the Omer.]

1 June 2006; Thursday night: Erev Shavuot. Have some cheesecake and blintzim, you look a little peaked.

Monday, April 17, 2006

TEL AVIV BOMBING: THE DUTCH REACTION

I have read the accounts of the latest terrorist strike in the Dutch press. And, as usual, I also looked at the internet edition of the Algemeen Dagblad (http://www.ad.nl/) - which allows readers to post reactions and commentary under articles.
[I seldom comment on that site, because it is moderated and they have a nasty habit of not publishing my comments - especially if I was critical of the Dutch. Their readers are perhaps insecure, and easily frightened. Or something.]


As I have little to say about the attack that others haven't said better elsewhere, and given that at the moment I'm likely to foam at the mouth and bloodshoot at the eye, I'll let the approved commenters of the Algemeen Dagblad themselves speak.


The majority of the comments underneath the Algemeen Dagblad article 'Bomaanslag in Tel Aviv' (http://www.ad.nl/buitenland/article279614.ece are reproduced below, with a translation underneath each in small bold type. They are in chronological order. They speak volumes.

Please note that the first reaction is from 'Windjes', a notorious sonei-Israel who probably supports Feijenoord (the Rotterdam soccer team). Most of the anti-Israel lobby in the Netherlands seem to support Feijenoord and live in or near Rotterdam. Which might be the armpit of Western Europe. Or not - there is much that might be armpit in Europe.

Please also note that I have numbered the comments -- some comments were omitted as being repetitious, gibberant, or not easily translated. Or having a non-germane religious element.





--- --- ---[COMMENTAAR]--- --- ---

1.
Het logische gevolg van de terroristische aanvallen van Israel op onschuldige Palestijnen. Ik vind dat de Hamas ten koste van alles het recht moet voorbehouden om op gepaste wijze te reageren op de liquidatiepolitiek van Israel. ---Windjes - Rotterdam - 17/04/06 - 14:14:51
[The logical consequence of the terrorist attacks of Israel on innocent Palestinians. I think that Hamas above all should maintain the right to respond in kind to the liquidation policy of Israel.]


2.
Vrolijk Pasen allemaal. Het is ze weer gelukt om onschuldige mensen te vermoorden. Toe maar Iran, Rusland en Qatar, 150 miljoen USD schenken aan terroristen die zeggen dat het geld besteed gaat worden om achterstallige salarissen te gaan betalen en om het onderwijs op peil te houden.Welk onderwijs? Zeker om kinderen te brainwashen hoe ze zichzelf op kunnen blazen op een plaats, waar zoveel mogelijk onschuldige burgers zijn.Als ik Olmert was, dan liet ik alle in Israel gevangen zittende Palestijnen vrij, deed ze een gordeltje om en dropte ze boven drukke centra in de Gazastrook en de Westbank. Gelukkig maar voor ook die onschuldige palestijnen ben ik Olmert niet en is Israel een land dat zoveel mogelijk burgers probeert te sparen in tegenstelling tot de Palestijne leiders. Wacht maar, het antwoord volgt zeker in de komende dagen. ---Willem de Prater - Amersfoort - 17/04/06 - 15:13:02
[Merry Easter everybody. They've succeeded again in murdering innocent people. Yeah, right, Iran, Russia, and Qatar - 150 milion donated to terrorists who claim the money will be spent on back-salaries and education. What education? Probably brainwashing children in how to blow themselves up where there are as many innocent civilians as possible. If I was Olmert, I'd release all Palestinians in Israeli jails - with a belt, and dropped over busy centers in the Gaza strip and the Westbank. Fortunately for the also innocent Palestinians I am not Olmert, and Israel is a country that strives to safeguard innocent lives, in contrast with the Palestinian leaders. Just wait, the response will come in the next few days.]


3.
En hoeveel onschuldige Palestijnse burgers komen niet om bij Israelische luchtaanvallen ?
Of zijn de Palestijnse kinderen van 6, 7, 8 jaar ook 'terroristen'? ---Pieter - Rotterdam - 17/04/06 - 15:34:43
[And how many innocent Palestinians perish because of Israeli airstrikes? Or are Palestinian children of six, seven, eight also terrorists?]


4.
Dit is een goede actie om de toeristen uit Israel weg te houden .Het is belangrijk dat Israel ook drooggezet wordt. Zet hem op Hamas! ---jan poot - zoetermeer - 17/04/06 - 15:35:22
[This is a good action to keep tourists away from Israel. It is important that Israel be dried up. Keep it up, Hamas!]


7.
Wat je zaait zal je oogsten. De vernederende behandeling van Palestijnen en het uitmoorden in vluchtelingenkampen van weerloze burgers, heeft EINDELIJK een preventieve reactie van het Palestijnse verzet uitgelokt. Vergeet niet dat Israel al jaren de vrije hand heeft in het vermoorden van onschuldige Palestijnen. ---Piet Kraak - Rotterdam - 17/04/06 - 16:06:05
[As you sow so shall you reap. The humiliating treatment of Palestinians and the extermination, in refugee camps, of defenseless civilians, has FINALLY prompted a preventive reaction from the Palestinian resistance. Don't forget that Israel has had years of unopposed leeway to murder innocent Palestinians.]


8.
Vanavond, vannacht of morgen huilen de palestijnen weer na een Israelische vergeldingsactie...Dom volk. ---Robert - Den Haag - 17/04/06 - 17:09:09
[This evening, tonight, or tomorrow, the Palestinians will weep again after an Israeli response. Stupid people.]


10.
Het Palestijnse volk huilt sinds de grondonteigening, vernederingen, verkrachtingen en moordpartijen van de zijde van Israel. ---Pieter van Beek - Alkmaar - 17/04/06 - 18:49:12
[The Palestinian people have been weeping ever since the landseizures, rapes, and massacres by the Israeli side.]


14.
Een jongen van 16 jaar? Was te verwachten. De Hamas heeft in de afgelopen jaren volgens hun zeggen steeds geld gestopt in het onderwijs van de palestijnen. Regelmatig waren op de diverse TV stations beelden te zien van zogenaamde zomerkampen, waarbij kinderen geinstrueerd werden hoe ze een winkelcentrum en een bus op moesten blazen. Tijdens deze zomerkampen werden deze kinderen vanaf 13 jaar uitgelegd hoe ze met een geweer om moesten gaan. Het is daarom dus niet zo vreemd dat de dader pas 16 jaar was.De verantwoordelijke mensen zijn thans regeringsleiders van een volk dat door het optreden van deze leiders en het niet erkennen van Israel, steeds meer klappen te verduren krijgt. ---Jan Jaap - Alphen aan den Rijn - 17/04/06 - 19:34:28
[A sixteen-year old boy? Was to be expected.
Hamas claimed in the last few years to have invested in the education of Palestinians. Regularly there have been images on teevee of so-called summercamps, where children were given instructions on blowing up shopping centres and buses. In these camps children as young as thirteen were taught how to use a gun. It isn't that odd that the perpetrator was only sixteen. Those repsonsible are currently government leaders of a people that, because of the acts of these leaders, and the non-recognition of Israel, keeps getting slapped.]


17.
Nou.. de Hamas heeft nu officieel de terreur goedgekeurd door deze terreurdaad gerechtvaardigt te noemen.
Het wachten is slechts totdat Israël hen daarop afrekent en doorgaat met het liquideren van terroristen.
Dan hebben de pro-Palestijnen in Nederland en Europa ook weer iets om over te huilen, al die zielige terroristen die zomaar een raket op hun dak krijgen.
Ten slotte, het enige dat ze gedaan hebben is vijftig jaar lang een smerige oorlog voeren tegen Israël?
Dat de reacties van Israël stuk voor stuk reacties zijn op barbaarse daden zoals vandaag, waar de Palestijnen kindsoldaten inzetten voor terreur, dat zullen de pro-Palestijnen wijselijk verzwijgen, waarschijnlijk weer terugvallend op verdraaiingen van de geschiedenis om zichzelf te rechtvaardigen..
Tegenover terreurdaden als deze kan niemand met een eerlijk geweten volhouden dat er een oplossing van het conflict moet komen waarin een uitroeiing van de terreurgroepen geen eerste voorwaarde is. ---Thomas Schaapherder - Huizen - 17/04/06 - 20:44:17
[Nu, the Hamas (gov't) has now officially approved of terrorism by calling this terrorist act justifiable.
Now it's just a matter of time before Israel collects the bill and continues to liquidate terrorists.
The pro-Palestinians in the Netherlands and Europe will then again have something to lament about: "all those poor Palestinian terrorists who, for no reason, got a missile through their roof. And all they did was wage a filthy war against Israel?"
That the reactions of Israel are entirely reactions against barbaric acts like today, where the Palestinians employ child-soldiers for terror, the pro-Palestinian side will purposely keep mum about, probably falling back on twisting history to justify their cause instead.
Against terrorist acts such as these, no one with an honest conscience can maintain that a solution to the conflict will result if the extermination of the terrorist groups is not the first condition.]



18.
De internationale gemeenschap veroordeelt de aanslag. Arabische leiders veroordelen de aanslag op onschuldige burgers. President Abbas veroordeelt de aanslag (voor de goede gang van zaken voor de buitenwereld) alleen de Hamas leiders zeggen dat de aanslag terecht was.
Wat willen ze hier mee bereiken? Meer doden aan de kant van de Palestijnen? Het merendeel van de bevolking van Israel wil vrede en dat wil het merendeel van de palestijnen ook, die ook inzien dat hun toekomst er niet beter op wordt. Alleen de Hamas leiders zien dit niet in. Jammer. ---Ton - Rijswijk - 17/04/06 - 20:44:30
[The international community condemn the attack. Arab leaders condemned the attack on innocent civilians. President Abbas condemns the attack (for smooth relations with the outside world), only leaders of Hamas say that the attack was justified.
What are they trying to achieve with this? More dead on the Palestinian side? The majority of the population of Israel wants peace, and the majority of Palestinians also - they understand that their future will not improve by this. Only the leaders of Hamas do not grasp this. Pity.]



20.
wat een rare barbaarse reakties hier. Dergelijke lieden zijn in hun leven nog verder geweest dan hun eigen achtertuintje met pergola. Hoe kun je nou als politiek leider kwaad met kwaad vergelden toestaan? Hamas zit fout, Abbas en de rest van de beschaafde wereld veroordeelt dit wel. En terecht. Iedere terroristische aanslag, met afgerukte hoofden, armen en andere verminkingen is afschuwelijk! Zowel de palestijnen als de israeliers hebben recht op dat land, daarvoor moet een oplossing gevonden worden, dat is in Europa 100 jaar geleden ook gelukt. Maar die oplossing komt er echt niet met de non-erkenning van de ander en de boel door jonge mensen laten opblazen. Vuile lafaards zijn het die Hamas-leiders! Die verdienen zelf de doodstraf. ---Murat - Rotterdam - 17/04/06 - 21:19:38
[What strange barbaric reactions here. Such people have never been further from home than their own backyard gazebo. How can one as a political leader justify violent payback? Hamas is wrong, Abbas and the rest of the civilized world condemn it. Rightly so. Every terrorist attack, with ripped off heads and limbs and other trauma, is repulsive. Both Palestinians and Israelis have a right to the land, a solution must be found; it succeeded in Europa one hundred years ago. But that solution will really not happen with non-recognition of the other and letting everything get blown up by young people. Those Hamas-leaders are filthy cowards! They themselves deserve to die.]


23.
Mijns inziens is er maar 1 afdoende "middel" tegen zelfmoordterroristen, en dat is; ze duidelijk maken dat, wanneer iemand zichzelf opblaast, zijn vader, moeder en broers en zussen gedood zullen worden, kijken of ze dan nog die 77 maagden willen ontmoeten. ---Wim Derks - Rotterdam - 17/04/06 - 22:09:33
[In my opinion there is only one 'medicine' against suicide terrorists, and that is making clear to them that when they strike, their father, mother, and brothers and sisters will be killed - let see then if they'll still want to meet those 77 virgins.]


24.
Ook als niet jood kun je toch alleen maar pro- israel zijn. ---alex - rio de janeiro - 17/04/06 - 22:21:18
[Even as a non-Jew you can only be pro-Israel.]


25.
Wie nog steeds van mening is dat niet de Palestijnen, maar Israël de schuld heeft van die vuile oorlog daar, die moet er maar gaan wonen.
Je kunt je bootje aanleggen in de nooit aangelegde haven, waarvoor de Nederlandse staat indertijd 40 miljoen gulden heeft opgeboerd.
Werken kun je dan in Israël, want dat doen veel Palestijnen.
Een cursus bommen maken en Joden haten leer je er zowel op school als via de TV.
Een land met "perpectief" dat Palestina.
Wat ik me af vroeg is die muur er omheen nog niet af? ---JéPé - Lelystad - 17/04/06 - 22:23:15
[Those who still are of the opinion that not the Palestinians but Israel are to blame for the dirty war over there should move there.
You can moor your boat in the never built harbour for which the Dutch government contributed forty milion florins. Work you'll have to go do in Israel - as do many Palestinians.
A course in bomb making and Jew hating you will learn at school as well as on teevee.
A country with "perspective', that's Palestine.
What I want to know is, isn't that wall finished yet?]





------ ------ ------ ------ ------

Remember, folks, the comments above are from the readers of the Algemeen Dagblad, and were lifted from the AD's internet site.
The AD isn't exactly the best newspaper in the world, but they are easily accessed (here: http://www.ad.nl/) . They are better than De Telegraaf. It's something.
Unless you read Dutch, it isn't really worth your while to cruise into their site, though. And if you do read Dutch, you probably already have the other Dutch newspapers bookmarked too.


Some Dutch newspapers have a readership which is more balanced, and thus more pro-Israel.

I make mention particularly of Trouw, Het Parool, and the Dagblad van het Noorden (http://www.dvhn.nl/). Of course, some of the reactions underneath the relevant article in the lastnamed journal advocate an Israeli response which even the hawks would hesitate to suggest - a firestorm of Dresden-like proportions over Gaza city, for instance.

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Friday, April 14, 2006

PIPE TOBACCO: SOME DUNHILL MIXTURES REVIEWED

.............................................................................................
LA RECHERCHE DU TEMPS PERDU

The last years that I lived in the Netherlands are associated in my memory with tobaccos. First come the unsauced Dutch ribbon tobaccos, smelling of Maryland and hay, then gradually their fragrance fades before the English mixtures and the smoky reek of Syrian leaf. The smell of which revives intense memories.

I've mentioned Balkan Sobranie in a previous posting, and others have devoted much blog-space to describing that now vanished classic. Enough.

The other classic which everybody eventually discovers is Dunhill. Usually the discovery is entirely unexpected, often it brings a sudden ray of sunshine into one's life.


Perhaps you are waiting for a delayed train on a perron in Germany (Bad-Schinkenfressersburg, or Affengrab Am See), or wandering the streets of a village in Central Europe scarcely changed since the black death (Blink, on the river Gnar), whose only genetic diversity is inherited from the desperate soldiery of some invasion or other.
The natives look troglodytic and dull, the 'besichtigungswertige' church is a boring reiteration of a typical pattern, and the local wurst is worse than the wurst in the inbred settlement of down the road and yesterday - which was a regional specialty, you really must try it.

And everything smells delicately of cow.


You want to smoke.
There is nothing else to do in this dump.
You want to smoke.

You. Want. To. Smoke.


You've run out of the desiccated wombat pelt which the tobacconist in Grubeschickelsberg recommended (damned ape!). And you want to smoke.

You spy a window with the word 'Tabak' in flaking paint in the center of the glass. A remarkably intelligent native behind the counter recognizes immediately that you are from elsewhere (there being only two local facial-types, both repellent variants on vicious troll), and in a sincerely helpful manner (!) suggests a tin of 'toonheel'.

There is nothing else in his store that looks even remotely non-toxic, so you purchase. Once outside, you light up. And your entire outlook on life changes. My what remarkable villagers! They almost look human! And dammit, I think I'll stay an extra day! That wurst was most interesting, I think I'll have it for dinner again tonight. Life is good! Maybe I'll even learn a few phrases in the local grunt tongue.


THE TIME, THE PLACE, THE TOBACCONIST

For me that discovery came via the retired ex-colonial who ran a small smoke shop on the Eindhovensche Weg in Valkenswaard, three blocks before the Merensdreef crossing. Which was conveniently on my way to school. A very gentle man, soft-spoken, and knowledgeable. But as pipe-smokers were the least of his customers (in order of importance: cigars, dark rolling shag, Dutch cigarettes, foreign cigarettes, pipe-tobacco), there was always the chance that he would run out of a blend or mixture.

One day he did not have Balkan Sobranie (I was probably the only customer), and suggested Dunhill instead. Of which he had three types: Nightcap, My Mixture 965, and Standard Mixture Medium. I bought all three. For me it was a discovery of a greater magnitude than Columbus stumbling across the new world (bloody fool thought it was India).


In the fall of that year I often spent late afternoons and early evenings in the empty hall of Jeugdsociëteit Parsifal, quietly drinking tea, smoking, and enjoying the long moody twilight. The occasional bicyclist would battle past, fighting the bluster, dry leaves would scud along the gutters, and in the creeping darkness yellow lights would appear on both sides of the street.

The aroma of Latakia drifted out and perfumed the night.


In the following spring, with the return of warm weather, greens exploded. The countryside was enveloping, rich, fertile, moist - not sensual, as the adjectives suggest, but carnivorous and hungry. Under stands of trees were dark shadow zones, above them a metal sky that threatened rain and thunderstorms.

The light of Northern Europe is unique. Not golden, like California, but clear silver. Across the distances the silhouettes of settlements show like saw-tooth ridges on the horizon, church spires make pious rude gestures at the heavens. Verdant, wet, pungent.
The dead leaf-rot of the previous autumn and the fecund vernal pongue combine, the air becomes heavy with the land.

In the rain, Brabant is dense with odeur.


At late afternoon I would stop by a café terrace to have coffee, and enjoy the view of the church, through the rain, across the square. A book, a pipe, and the remarkable sensation of solitude though surrounded by a densely populated village.

It is odd that I so fondly remember that last year... Three people who meant much to me passed away, and things changed rapidly. At the end of summer I returned to the States.

That was in 1978.

I really miss the long, long twilight.


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Now then, having wasted your time with that excursus into the bog of Brabant, let us proceed to the tobaccos.

I compared six Dunhill mixtures, of which five are Balkan blends, and one is entirely composed of American tobaccos. Dunhill products have usually been of high quality, though they have in the past farmed out the manufacture to some companies who stumbled. At present Dunhill tobaccos are again very good.
Like Balkan Sobranie, Dunhill 965 and the Standard Mixture Medium are the standards against which all other Balkan Blends are measured. Balkan Sobranie and Dunhill both used tobaccos that had been matured, and both brands tended to stress the Oriental (also called Turkish) component somewhat more than many American Tobacconist's blends, though for college-boys on a Latakia kick, Sobranie provided their black mixture and Dunhill had Nightcap.

I did not include Nightcap in this review.

The six tobaccos I compared are: Durbar Mixture, Early Morning Pipe, Elizabethan (this is the one without Turkish or Latakia), London Mixture, My Mixture #965, Standard Mixture Medium. All were smoked several times, in several different pipes. The reviews below are composites based on notes taken while smoking, and also after. My significant other's point of view has not been taken into account.


DURBAR MIXTURE
Appearance: Variegated light to dark brown, mostly toward dark. Crumbly ribbons, evidence of aging and fermentation.
Tin Aroma: Dry, Turkish. Richly Oriental
Taste: Oriental, perfumy. Turkish strongly evident. Fruity, but with scant sweetness and scant smokiness; there is little Latakia evident, if any present at all. As it progresses a Virginia undertone develops. I also suspect that there is a toasted Cavendish in the blend. Tastes sec.
Ash: Medium-grey, fine grit.

Heavy on the Turkish, though somewhat lacking in character.


EARLY MORNING PIPE
Appearance: Thin jaggedy ribbon; yellows, medium reddish browns and dark browns. Mostly reddish veering toward chocolate-like, not a pronounced contrast.
Tin Aroma: Mild aged flavour, veering towards Levantine. Slight smokiness.
Taste: Very balanced, slightly sweet, a rounded Oriental quality, profoundly tobacco-y.
Coffee friendly, tangy. Starts very good, becomes even better. A good balance between Virginia types, Latakia, and probably Perique. The Virginia component is not dominated by a heavy cured taste. Enjoyable to the end.
Ash: Medium grey, slightly uneven and irregular, rounded grit.

Very satisfying, with enough character to maintain interest.
Very highly recommended.


ELIZABETHAN MIXTURE
Appearance: Yellowish and medium browns, minor darks. Soft thin ribbon, the dark leaf showing evidence of the press.
Tin Aroma: Toasty Virginia, a suggestion of air-dried. Autumn plum and fruit smell.
Taste: Sweet, predominance of ribbon cut (not heavily pressed). Reminiscent of some of the old Dutch blends which have disappeared since the Dutch tobacco industry became a flavour-whore. And probably some Perique. Sharpens as it nears the bottom of the bowl.
Ash: Brittle, powdery. Medium grey, medium grit.

A soft casual smoke, but it does require attention. Enjoyable if smoked slow.


LONDON MIXTURE
Appearance: Ribbony dull browns and darks, touches of dull yellow. Evidence of ageing. Mottled.
Tin Aroma: Oriental, some Latakia. Turkish and fruity.
Taste: Turkish, Latakia, plum. Fragrant and sweet. Is there black Virginia? The perfume says yes. Develops a floral mouth taste, augmenting the Oriental tones. Tingly. Good nose, edge in back of mouth. Very enjoyable, smooth finish. There is a suggestion of something raw and sexual here.
Ash: Soft pale ash with a few crumbly bits.

Has great character.
Highly recommended.



MY MIXTURE 965
Appearance: Broad range from brights to blacks, soft ribbons to jaggedy rip. Slight reddish dominance.
Tin Aroma: Winey, smoky, fruity.
Taste: A tanginess of Yellow Virginia plus the fragrance of Latakia. Spicy, sweet. The impact of Turkish builds, but a slightly sharp undertone of ribbon Virginias remains. Sec, tip-centre of tongue. It is peppery. Burns well, slightly irregular. Tends towards hot near end.
Ash: Soft, irregular, and pale.

Acts better than it is.


STANDARD MIXTURE MEDIUM
Appearance: Red-browns and dark browns dominate, but there are also medium brown ribbons, a speckle of short yellows, and odd greenish fragments. Medium small ribbon mix.
Tin Aroma: Noticeable Latakia, hints of herb and plum. Raisins, cacao.
Taste: Richly Turkish, sec. An undertone of Cavendish and mature Virginias, perhaps a minute quantity of Perique (tingly note). Finishes quickly, smoothly. The Turkish definitely dominates.
Ash: Medium to pale grey, fine grit.

A good smoke. Very well based.
Highly recommended.





TOBACCO INDEX


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All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
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JELLY FRUIT AND COCONUT MACAROONS

The Gadol Hador (http://godolhador.blogspot.com/) posted the entry below, just before leaving for the week.

I think the post is charming. It deserves a wider audience (his blog readers are usually NOT gentiles - I suspect that many gentiles are scared of stuff that they don't recognize - just like folks from the plains states distrust all fish that ain't tuna-inna-can).


There are some expressions you might not understand without help.
These are (in order of appearance):

Yom Tov = Holiday, religious festival.
Shver, shverre = Father in law.
Bnai Yisrael = The Jews.
Halachah = Talmudic laws and legal code.
Gedolim = The plural of Gadol. A great Talmudic mind.
Mussar = Meaningful godranting, moral message harangue.
Shmoozen = Intimate discussions, often by a rebbe to his devotees. Talks.
Yetziat Mitzraim = The getting-the-heck-out-of-Egypt.
Eretz Zovas Chalav uDvash = A land (eretz) flowing (zovas) with milk (chalav) and honey (devash).
Kollel guys = Married men still studying for a year or two after getting hitched.
Seforim = Books.
Chumras = Restrictions, more severe practises.
Mekayem = To adhere to, cleave to, be obedient to (as in the phrase "Tzaddik gozer ve Hakadosh Baruch Hu mekayem - the Tzaddik implores, and G-d gives in).
Hiddur mitzvah = Santifying the commandment; making the commandment beautiful.
Maykil = Lenient.
Moshiach = The messiah.


The GH's entry:

Monday, April 10, 2006
Pesach Hotel!!!


Well folks, it’s that time of the year again. All the MO (Monied Orthodox) go off to spend Pesach at fancy shmancy hotels, leaving all the complainers like Marvin Shtick to complain about how this isn’t in the spirit of Yom Tov. I’m not one of the Monied Orthodox, but I do have a generous shverre (thanks FIL!), so I shall be joining the ranks of the wealthy and will be stuffing my face for 8 days straight, morning noon and night, and often in between too.


But why are these people complaining? I thought Pesach was all about liberation from slavery? Leaving my day job to go spend 8 days in a luxury resort seems quite liberating to me! I think it’s exactly in the spirit of Pesach, especially if the generous shverre is paying. Kinda like God supplying the Bnai Yisrael with Manna.


Just wait, in 500 years I bet it will become the accepted Halachah that you MUST go to a Hotel for Pesach. Gedolim will give inspiring mussar shmoozen about how the only proper way to symbolize Yetziat Mitzrayim to Eretz Zovas Chalav uDvash is to perform our own personal Yetziat Mitzrayim and go to a hotel, Eretz Zovas Jelly Fruits and Coconut Macaroons.


Kollel guys looking for extra income will write seforim on Pesach Hotel Chumras, that to be really mekayem hiddur mitzvah you should go to a 5 star hotel. (MO will be maykil on 4 star). I also expect chumras and halachos on the minimum number of times to visit the Tea Room between meals, and the proper attire for the pool on Yom Tov afternoon. The MO and the UO will argue about the proper destinations, the MO will say it has to be in Israel, the UO will say Florida is fine until Moshiach comes.


Anyways, I shall be leaving shortly to somewhere warm, near a body of water. Could be Israel, could be Florida, could be Spain. Maybe I will see some of you there? I'll be the guy reading Torah Min HaShamayim by Heschel (possibly with a fake dustjacket depending on the crowd), and also I still have to finish 'The Emergence of Ethical Man' (and about 200 other books). I'll also have a big bowl of jelly fruit and coconut macaroons. Yumm.


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For some seriously good stuff (or absolute kefirah, depending on your background and how little you've managed to escape from it), please visit the Gadol Hador at: http://godolhador.blogspot.com/

Do read the comments underneath his posting. That's often where the meat of the matter is hashed out. And mostly that's even better than listening to a questions and answer session, or reading the transcripts of lectures. Halfway between flow of consciousness ranting and brilliant debate.
Learning is not a project with a defined end-point, but a continuous process (and sometimes, learning is also happily reading the angry objections and snarky comments. But it is never dull).


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Another very worthwhile lecture hall in the internet Yeshiva can be visited here:
http://dovbear.blogspot.com/
It too provides great stimulation.
If you are a republican (chosvechollilleh), it might give you bile. In which case I definitely recommend it.

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Tuesday, April 11, 2006

A GRUNDFLIEGELICHE PEYSACH

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As my contribution to the Peysach season, I post below the moiredikke letter from Rav Yisroel Grundfliegel. Taka, copied, and the letter has been around a while (I wish I could credit the source, but I got it from a friend, who got it from a chaver, who got it from his Rav, who got it from a man smelling of Tuna fish - such is the spread of wisdom in our age).
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But there is a tiefe und riezige mefarshus!.
The commentary of the RABAM is new, and explains much.
[The Rabam's commentary is small and bold - like the Rabam himself.]
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So, although I don't know HaRav Glundfliegel personally, I feel I am adding to the tradition.
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From Rabbi Yisroel Grundfliegel SHLIT"AH, Self-Described Halachik Authority and Successful Lower East Side Real Estate Developer
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Here are the halachik issues for Pesach:
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1. Braces
Those people who normally wear braces while consuming chometzdike food, must have their braces kashered for Pesach. The preferred method is that of Libun, which can be accomplished by crinkling your lips up to expose your teeth and then running a blow torch along the entire length of your braces. Some authorities are meikel and permit kashering of braces by dunking your open mouth into a bowl of scalding hot water.
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Libun = white hot; making an utensil kosher by heating it till it glows white, required for vessels (kli) which are used for meat. This is libun chamur (strict whitening). If, however, we're talking about a typical teenager, then, assuming the usual vegetarianism, the vessel need only be heated to the degree that it will set fire to straw (libun kal - easy whitening). To be certain that all parts of the vessel are kashered, the straw should be held against the metal at several places, away from the torch.
Logically, in this case, it is necessary to fill the vessel with straw due to the difficulty of reaching behind the metal while it is hot.
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Meikel = Agreeable, lenient.
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Scalding water = Irui; koshering by pouring boiling water over, as is done for plates and table silver. But the Rama holds that because the braces are a kli shaini (a secondary vessel, occasionally involved in cooking, by reason of digestive enzymes), kashering is by hagala, the immersion in boiling water.
In mittn drinnen, it might be better to put the vessel up for adoption; less noisy.
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2. Digestive System
While most people put all their efforts into ridding their homes and cars of chometz, there is one place even more personal that is traditionally neglected during bedikas chometz - your very own digestive system, including stomach, small intestine and large intestine (colon). Those who have consumed chometz during the 24- hour period prior to biyur chometz must spend the proper time in the bathroom prior to the time of issur chometz to allow the elimination of any residual chometz from their bodies. Some halachik authorities also require the use of a laxative to assist in the elimination process.
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Bedikas chometz = searching for and disposing of all traces of leavening before Passover, and emptying the liquor cabinet of whiskey, vodka, and gin. The vermouth, not being made from one of the five grains which become chometz (wheat, rye, barley, spelt, or oats) may be kept.
Bedikas chometz starts at Purim.
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Biyur chometz = burning chometz to dispose of it.
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Issur chometz = prohibition on chometz; you are not permitted to have any leavened material of any kind in your house or in your possession from the fifth hour of the day before peysach till after the holiday is over. This includes whiskey, vodka, and gin.
Note: Some laxatives are chometz and may not be used Erev Pesach. Please consult your local rabbinical authority for which laxatives may be used.
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Gefilte fish is not a laxative.
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Erev peysach = The day preceding Passover and, if shabbes is that day, the day before shabbes. Chometzdikhe laxatives may however be used in the day preceding Erev Pesach, before the fourth hour (mid-afternoon).
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3. Gebruchts
Boruch Hashem, many of us are very careful not put any non-solid food on our matzoh, lest the liquid combine with any unbaked flour and become chometz. But what about our saliva and digestive juices? Saliva contains water and could very well cause problems of gebruchts. Until recently, it was felt that this problem was insurmountable, and thus, many poskim were meikel on this issue. But it has come to my attention that it is common practice for drug dealers to smuggle their drugs inside a human courier, by having the person ingest the drugs inside a small rubber balloon or, chas v'sholom, prophylactic. It would appear that this is also a perfect method for eating matzoh without worrying about the possibility of gebruchts. So this year, one should try to be machmir and put all matzoh in small rubber balloons before swallowing it. Upon further reflection, it has occurred to me that this is the way Bnei Yisroal must have eaten their matzoh in the midbar.
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Boruch HaShem = Blessed is G-d. Used like ‘Thank Heaven’.
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Gebruchts, gebrochts = Brokens, also called matzah sheruya (soaked matzah), meaning matzah meal or broken matzah used for puddings or matzo balls, soaked as a first step in their respective recipes. Due to the possibility that unbaked matzah flour may still cling to the crumbs it is best avoided, unless your mother makes matzo brei or matzo ball soup, in which case there is no reason to risk a family rift - just remember what happened to Yakov and Esav.
Remember Esav? He pissed-off his mom, that's what happened to Esav!
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Chas v'sholem = An idiomatic phrase used like 'Heaven Forfend'.
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Rubber balloons and prophylactics = It is always right to say a bracha over anything that one eats - for rubber, Shehakol; for synthetics, Oseh ma’aseh bereishis; for reservoir tip, Shelo asani goy.
Ve’im tomar, are these kosher for peysach? Teimah, some authorities hold that these items are orlah (foreskins), and thus forbidden. This is Issur d’rabbanan (a prohibition from the Talmud or by the rabbis). But according to the Chachmei Anglia (Tosafos Chachmei Anglia = the Tosafists active in Britain during the middle ages), this is forbidden because stuffing a prophylactic qualifies as work (melacha, al pi minhag Anshei Anglia), which is not allowed on shabbes, and by extension not on any of the festivals.
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Bnei Yisroel = The Sons of Israel, the Jews.
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Midbar = wilderness.
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4. Shiur of Matzoh (amount)
As you may be aware, the issue of shiurim is one that has been discussed at length. This year, I decided to reexamine the whole issue in the hopes of settling it conclusively, using my own opinion, and I was astonished by what I found. As you know, we are all required to eat a "kezayis" of matzoh. But how much is a "kezayis"? Obviously olives in the time of the Torah were not the size of today's puny olives! To determine the exact size of Torah olives, I went to the Posuk "Eretz Chitoh Oo'Si'oroh V'Gefen Oo'Si'einoh V'Reemon, Eretz Zais Shemen Oo'dvash." It occurred to me that this posuk lists the seven species IN SIZE ORDER! The posuk starts with the tiny grains are wheat and oats, continues with the slightly larger grape, and then the even larger fig, whatever that is. Thus, the size of an olive comes out to be somewhere between that of a pomegranate and that of a large jar of honey.
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Being that achilas matzoh is a mitzvoh me'dioreysah, we must be machmir by using the size of the jar of honey. After checking with officials at the Golden Blossom company, it turns out that the largest jar of honey sold commercially is 32 oz. So, by taking into account the amount of flour that fits into a 32 oz. jar, we come up with the shiur kezayis as being 4.7 round matzohs, or 6.4 square matzohs. Please remember that this matzoh must be consumed within the allowed time of 5 minutes!
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Shiur of Matzoh = the minimum quantity of matzoh that must be consumed.
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Kezayis = from zayis (olive); an amount of the size of an olive.The Posuk "Eretz Chitoh Oo'Si'oroh V'Gefen Oo'Si'einoh V'Reemon, Eretz Zais Shemen Oo'dvash." Devarim 8:8 "A land of wheat and barley and grape-vines and figs and pomegranates; a land of olive trees and honey" (Erets chita u-seora ve gefen u-te'ena ve-rimon; erets zeit, shemen, u-devash).
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Fig = Feig (teyenot); not a dadel.
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Dadel = a date, though not necessarily one that leads to further dates; a waste of time, better you should take out an ad instead, or rely on a shadchen. You're not getting any younger.
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Achilas matzoh = Eating matzoh, the consumption of matzoh.
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Mitzvos d'oraisah = a commandment inherent in the tradition, a commandment stated in Torah.
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Shiur kezayis = a measure of volume or quantity equivalent to an olive. Because this is in reference to a mitzvos d’oraisah, we are obligated to go according to the largest possible size (see Mishna Brura), which in this case means that one should relax one’s jaws entirely, and fill up the space between lips and glottis with the 4.7 round matzoh, or 6.4 square matzoh. This is rather like filling a tobacco pipe, and, similarly, it is permissible to press down upon the filling until it is firm. Some people may need help, so the husband and father of the family, having seen to his own shiur kezayis, may then press down upon the shiurim kezaysim of his family members until the full measure has been accounted for.
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Note: There are many brands of Shmureh Matzoh, on the market, most of which I would no sooner eat than I would a product certified by the triangle-K. People who are serious about shmiras ha'mitzvos should purchase Shmureh Matzoh only from my brother-in-law, Yonkie. Yonkie's Yiddishe Matzohs are BOTH hand AND machine made - l'chol ha'dayos - and are Glatt Kosher l'mehadrin min hamehadrin min hamehadin. Prices start at tzvontzik tullar a pound, which, for those of you who don't speak yiddish, translates to $80 a pound.
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Shmureh matzoh = Guarded matzoh; Matzah made from flour which has been guarded (reliably supervised), from harvest through grinding to baking, to ensure that no water touched the flour prior to the making of matzos, as even a tiny bit of moisture can in a short time cause fermentation. The entire process from mixing in water to removing the finished matzoh from the oven must be done within eighteen minutes, other wise it is chometz.
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Shmiras ha mitzvos = obeying (guarding) the commandments.
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Le chol ha dayos = according to all laws.
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Glatt kosher le mehadrin min hamehadrin min hamehadin = Mehadrin: kosher supervision, usually by a rabbi trained in matter of kashrus. So this phrase translates as extremely kosher and fully supervised by the eagle-eyes of an observant ultra-orthodox wanker, more or less. Don’t worry about it, it’s kosher already.
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Tzvontzik = Having the characteristics of a tzvontz. Some say equivalent to twenty tzik.
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5. Water
Water contains many microorganisms (including copeds) which, according to many poskim, fall under the category of shrotzim. While this does not present a specific problem for Pesach, it can be a problem all year round. I recommend using micro-bodek bottled water - guaranteed organism-free.
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Water = standing water often teems with buggy things, chayas. which makes Mayim Chayim non-potable. Don’t drink the water, unless you dilute it with sixty parts whiskey.
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Poskim = halachic authorities.
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Shrotsim = insects, but specifically swarming insects, which are considered unclean and not kosher, from Vayikra 11:29 "ve ze lachem hatamei ba sherets ha shorets al-ha'arets…" (and these to you are unclean among the swarming things (sherets) that swarm (shorets) upon the land…
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Bodek = a brand of shrotzim-free products.
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Shrotzim-free = bland.
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6. Soda
In addition to the problem of water containing microorganisms (see #5), soda has the additional problem of containing bubbles, thus creating the possibility that it will be confused with beer, which is, of course, chometz mamish. Some rabbonim permit the use of soda on Peisach, though I personally wouldn't eat in any of their homes.
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On the subject of soda, let me quote an excerpt from the popular sequel to "Shmiras Shabbos K'Hilsosoh", "Smiras PeisachK'Hilsoso": "While use of soda and other carbonated beverages are permitted on Pesach, it is nonetheless desired to refrain from drinking them. In fact, it is generally desired to refrain from ALL forms of permissible activity throughout the year, lest halachah not be seen as sufficiently burdensome and unpleasant."
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It would also seem to me that such a prohibition would extend to any food that could possibly be confused with a chometzdike item, not to mention all the those products that are "Pesachdik" versions of things that only a goy would eat on Pesach, such as "Pesach" noodles, "Pesach" pancake mix, and "Pesach" muffins. Such products should be scrupulously avoided! As to whether such products can be fed to dog on Pesach, consult your local halachik authority.
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Chometz mamish = tangibly and actually chometz.
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Mamish = Tangibly, actually, recognizably so by the senses, as it were.
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Beer = Not kosher for Peysach by any definition, being made from grain-mash fermented with yeast; domestic beer is made from entirely unknown substances, and might even contain lard; import beers are painfully expensive. Beer, in any case, is precisely what they didn't have for forty years. You think Moishe was shlepping lager through the midbar?!?! The Mikdash was a beer chest?!?! Simchas Toireh is just another name for 'Oktober Fest'?!?! Farkert!
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Sequel = coming soon to a theatre near you, rated K.
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Chometzdik = leavened.
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Peysachdik = Passoverish. Voss for a vort iz passoverish? Peysachdik!
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Pesach noodles = A contradiction in terms (Modern orthodox).
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Pesach pancake mix = Inedible, not being made from grain (Reform).
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Pesach muffins = a goyishe sawdust confection (Liberal).
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Can be fed to a dog = note that several things which are not, or no longer, kosher can be fed to a dog, but if a dog won’t touch them they are certainly not edible. In the case of chometzdikhes, when a dog refuses to eat it, it is spoiled beyond the point of qualifying as chometz, and is thus permissible, though hardly still desirable, having become blue cheese mamish.
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7. Mechiras Chometz
The question has come about whether a family where the wife doesn't wear a sheital, or whose kids learn at a co-ed school, chas v'sholom, can be considered goyim for purposes of Mechiras Chometz. The "Makos Mardus", Rabbi Yechiel Getzel Grunblatt of Flatbush, deals with this question in his best-selling seifer on hilchos Pesach "VaYichan Sham Neged HaHar: Spending Pesach in theMountains": "Whereas many "Jewish" families are considered by frume yidden to be goyim, l'chatchila, it's better to sell your chometz to a true church-going duch gatribene goy. .
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However, one may keep such people in mind when reciting the brochoh "shelo osani goy.""
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Sheital = Wig. Many women shave their hair after marriage. If you like your wife to look like a Martian, that’s your business. Who am I to judge?
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Mechiras chometz = selling your chometz to a Gentile, in order to get rid of it without wasting it.
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Makos mardus = "Corporal Punishment"; an affectionate nickname, in reference to his disciplinary habits.
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Frume Yidden = Yiddish: Observant Jews.
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Lechatchilah = preferably, as a first choice.
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Durch getribn = through and through, thoroughly and in full practise.
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Brocho shelo osani Goy = Baruch Ata Adonai Eloheinu Melech ha olam, shelo asani goy (blessed art Thou Lord our G-d, king of the world, who has not made me gentile). The blessing which should be said when realizing that we do not live in the deep-south, and, wistfully, when contemplating the miracle of shrimp.
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This concludes our issues for Pesach. Please look for upcoming halachah bulletin's dealing with following issues: --Using happy tunes in kedushah during sfiroh - Wearing light- colored suits during the summer - ussur or menuval birshus haTorah - Has your wall-to-wall carpeting been shatnez tested?
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Light coloured suits during summer = purchase matching talit and linen suit, be stylish, a farfeinter mensh, vi ein emmesse macher! Ask your tailor about ordering early! Groysn discounts hobn mir during our yearly chol ha moed sale! Look like a Melech for the price of a Nebech!
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Wishing you a happy and kosher l'mehadrin min hamehadrin min hamehadin Pesach and hopeful that this year will see the coming of the Moshiach,
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----Rabbi Yisroel Grundfliegel
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And of course, the Rabam wishes everybody a great Chag ha Heruteinu, and Boas Festas e Melhoradas!
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