At the back of the hill

Warning: If you stay here long enough you will gain weight! Grazing here strongly suggests that you are either omnivorous, or a glutton. And you might like cheese-doodles.
BTW: I'm presently searching for another person who likes cheese-doodles.
Please form a caseophilic line to the right. Thank you.

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

THE PROPHET MOHAMMED

A while back, Jyllands-Posten ( a Danish newspaper) published two cartoons depicting the Prophet Mohammed (Mohammed en-nabi, sallalahu aleihi wa salam).

Which I wouldn't have known about, because I don't read Danish.


But millions of Muslims apparently do.

And my heavens are they upset!


Worse than a bunch of Dixie crackers over the phrase 'happy holidays'. Or Texans over the removal of a statue of the 'nine-to-eleven' commandments from a public park.

About the cartoons depicting the Prophet Mohammed sallalahu aleihi wa salam, that is.


Showing the Prophet Mohammed,sallalahu aleihi wa salam, in the guise of a mad terrorist with a bomb in his turban is traumatic.
Who knew?


[I'm a bit baffled as to how they even knew it WAS the Prophet Mohammed sallalahu aleihi wa salam - no portraits exist, and for all we know the Prophet Mohammed sallalahu aleihi wa salam may have been pockmarked and leprous, or uglier than mother Clancy's pet pig sallalahu aleihi wa salam. Who knows? But lets assume that he looked like a film-star. To be kind. ]


After a boycot of Danish products in Saudia Arabia (an exemplary nation we should all emulate), the editor of the Danish newspaper (the Jyllands-Posten) apologized to the Danish Muslim group that started the ruckus. Spokesman Kasem Ahmad expressed appreciation for the gesture.

Editor-in-chief Carsten Juste said that he was deeply sorry that two cartoons depicting the Prophet Mohammed (sallalahu aleihi wa salam) offended the Muslim community.



--- --- ---

AN EYE-OPENER

Shoot, I guess I'll have to put my plans for the drag-show about the Prophet Mohammed (sallalahu aleihi wa salam) on hold now, as I doubt I can get funding.

I was hoping that the government of Saudi Arabia, or one of its ministries, would sponsor the show as a way of spreading awareness of the Islamic faith among San Francisco's drag-queens.

As surely only a sexy, flirty, saucy bit of musical theatre (about the Prophet Mohammed, sallalahu aleihi wa salam) could do!


But there are so many freedom-of-the-press-loving liberal democracies in the middle-east, that even if the Saudi Government can't bankroll the show, I will no doubt still be able to get funding...., once the dust settles.


So, dear readers, perhaps next year you can look forward to the Prophet Mohammed (sallalahu aleihi wa salam) poncing around the stage in a lovely busty purple bikini during the opening number ('I just want your attention!'), followed by the Prophet Mohammed (sallalahu aleihi wa salam) in a wicked! little Islamic green cocktail dress doing a rumba with the 'Companions' ('ooooh they're sexy!'), and several unusually well-built black men in glittery harem pants as the wives of Prophet Mohammed sallalahu aleihi wa salam.

The grand finale, with camels, slaves, and savage ghazees, mad mullahs, houris, and hairy hajees, AND the Prophet Mohammed sallalahu aleihi wa salam and his naughty companions, in a quick-stepping kicky chorus line ('show us your faith!') with feather fans and pompoms, and miles and miles of shapely Levantine thighs, will knock your socks off, I promise!


It will be great!
Why, it will be spectacular, stupendous, an Arabesque extravaganza!



--- --- ---

During the world tour of "The Prophet's All Boy Burlesque Review", I should probably run advertisements in the following papers:

AL-DUSTUR (Jordan)

AL-JAZIRAH (Saudi Arabia)

Al-WATAN (Qatar)

All three of these newspapers bravely pandered to the repressive dictats of the various tyrants running their countries, who surely would've had them violated by camels or harem-guards if they had been so tasteless as to write anything praising freedom of the press.

In other words, they're the perfect feuilletons for tit-show advertisements.

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